June 2, 2010
You’re Not the Boss of Me!
I love buying parenting books. Anytime a new issue comes up with my son, I head to Amazon to find the plethora of books that will solve all of my problems. I wait patiently for the book that will bring peace and happiness back to my house. The day the book comes, I head to bed early with book in hand, ready to have all of our issues resolved. A few days later, and only a few chapters in, the book begins to collect dust. Therein lies the problem with parenting books-you feel a gusto when first approaching the book, but reading an entire book and expecting to remember all the techniques is near impossible. So, I give up and the problems remain.
You will not find this problem with You're Not the Boss of Me: Brat-proofing Your 4-12 Year Old by Betsy Brown Braun. Braun encourages you to use the book however best works for you. She suggests that you choose chapters for issues you want to work on with your child. I like this approach. The book does not have to be read cover to cover before you can begin using the techniques or ideas presented. I headed right away to the chapter self-reliance and then the one on independence. We are raising an only child (not by choice), and we worry about his ability to be independent and happy. Braun is encouraging and provides practical ways to deal with your child.
Ours son was also diagnosed with ODD, Oppositional Defiant Disorder, and while we're not 100% sold on this diagnosis, he does exhibit many of the indicators of this disorder. Braun's ideas fit in with other experts on ODD. She reminds us that kids are kids and that we adults need to relax, too. Perhaps the greatest reminder for me was that we are their models and that kids pick up on our stress. Obvious, I know, but in the heat of the moment, I get wrapped up in my emotions and react and I forget how detrimental my reaction can be-and this is even more detrimental with a child with ODD.
Braun speaks to the reader on a grounded level. You sense she has "been there, done that" and is not passing judgment. The tone is friendly, firm, and encouraging. I found the book to be a refreshing parenting book.
TKDDaughter gives You're Not the Boss of Me a:
"I wrote this review while participating in a blog tour campaign by Mom Central on behalf of HarperCollins and received a copy of You’re Not the Boss of Me to facilitate my review. Mom Central also sent me a gift certificate to thank me for taking the time to participate."