Ask a Ninja Presents “The Ninja Handbook”

If you like the "Ask a Ninja" series online, then you don’t want to miss "The Ninja Handbook" by Douglas Sarine and Kent Nichols. This book has you laughing before it even gets started with a ninja will, just in case of the worst possible scenario. I don’t want to give it away but it’s a fill-in-the-blanks form that is just plain hysterical.

If you take this ninja business seriously, then you’ll appreciate the chapters telling one how to form a proper ninja clan and how to name that clan so as to be respected ninja folk. If you take the "Ask a Ninja" guy and squeeze his videos on to paper, you pretty much have the book.

Like the videos, "The Ninja Handbook" is full of sarcasm and dark humor that will have you laughing throughout. You better hurry up and read it fast though because like the videos, this book "looks forward to killing you soon" as well.

It takes a lot for a book to make me laugh out loud and that’s exactly what "The Ninja Handbook" does. If you are a fan of the internet ninja legend, then you don’t want to miss this book. There are humor infused chapters throughout.

One of the chapters on getting "ninjaish" details how to make your "mark" lose their way on a mission. "The Ninja Handbook" states:

. . .if your mark is stupid enough to be using a GPS system. Simply hack into the navigational program they are using and rewrite the algorithm from "shortest possible route" to "most round-about-and-ass-backward route possible. (75)

The book also provides some helpful insight to beginner ninja’s. Some of the suggestions are:

Replace all variations of hello in your vocabulary with head punches (43)

Get raving compliments about your great ideas and imput for at least 30 meetings or classes that you did not attend. Being a ninja is not about being there; it’s about having the impact of your presence felt whether you are there or not. (43)

Pick a fight with an inaminate object at least four times your body mass. (43)

This book is loaded with hysterical ninja training methods and with illustrations that are just as hysterical and useful. If you’re interested in picking up a copy for yourself (and trust me you’ll want to) go here. If you need more convincing and want to check out the ninja himself, go here and check out some of the videos.

For its laugh-out-loud humor and practical yet comical advice on becoming a "ninja," BBM gives the book. . .