Mama PhD

When I started graduate school for a Masters in Literature, I was working my first career in retail management. I was working 60+ hours a week managing a high-end shoe store. I was on my feet all day in very cool shoes, dealing with spoiled, rich women and making not much more than minimum wage. While this job was, in fact, quite rewarding and a great foundation for all jobs I have had since, I looked forward to doing what I loved most-reading, studying, and discussing literature. I was proud of myself for working so many hours a day while taking two literature classes. (One semester, I had both the Victorian Novel and The Rise of the Novel (18th Century)-we read one novel per week and if you’ve read any Victorian or 18th novels, you know that this was an insane amount of reading to do!) While I couldn’t spend the time on campus I would have liked, I worked hard at my studies. But to my classmates, this wasn’t enough. They were all full-time students living off of their student loan money. They spent every day on campus, in the library, at the coffee shop, at the little dive bar down the street. I joined them when I could, but these times were rare. So, I was snubbed. I wasn’t "dedicated enough." Because I chose to live and study in the real world instead of the utopic and untouched world of the scholar, I was deemed not good enough, not smart enough, and not committed enough. While I dealt with this by feeling angry, in reality I was hurt and jealous.

What did I do? I finished my Masters and instead of moving onto the doctoral program, I began work on Masters in Secondary Education. Here I studied with others who worked full-time, were parents, and were still committed to being lifelong learners. Here I was accepted. Here is where I belonged. I have never regretted that decision, but at times, I am still infuriated that I was edged out because I supported myself outside of academia.

My story is not unusual. In Mama PhD: Women Write about Motherhood and Academic Life, I read essay after essay of similar experiences and feelings toward the wonderful world of higher education. In this collection of essays, women explore their role in educational institutions and their role as mothers. Overwhelmingly, the two don’t seem to mix. Many of these writers have made it work, but it hasn’t been easy. Others put their career first and got tenure, but have to give up the dream of having children. Most comment that the way colleges and universities are set up, as patriarchies, there is no room for women pursuing children, just women pursuing tenure. Scholarship. publications, and teaching duties are the only measurement for success.

At times, these essays enraged me… women who are mothers, the world’s best multi-taskers, are made to feel like failures because they choose to procreate. At times these essays inspired me…hearing the tales of those who have done it, who have laughed in the face of these archaic institutions and said, "screw you!" At times, it just made me sad that there even has to be this discussion.

This was a great collection of essays. Heartfelt and poignant personal tales of women, mothers and scholars. Some have chosen one role over the other and some manage both despite the opposition. All of these women inspire me for their candor. Over the past year I have often thought about going back to get that PhD. Mama PhD has proved that I can do this…and I’m thinking I just might.

Mama PhD: Women Write about Motherhood and Academic Life edited by Elrena Evans and Caroline Grant deserves a: