August 5, 2006

“Because they still haven’t found what they’re looking for. . . “

It was right around the 4th of July when I published the first edition of the searches that have landed readers on my site. It’s now the 4th of August and let me tell you, there have been some good ones. I picked the best of the last month. Before digging into the list, you may want to scroll down and hit play. I’ve kindly provided theme music.

kicked leg tae kwon do ice or heat– The answer is. . . .IBUPROFEN and then ICE, ICE, ICE. When I hurt my back a few years ago, my chiropractor recommended ice for the first week. When I had a visit from the Rice Crispie boys a few weeks ago, it was all about the ice as well.
what happens when knee pops-Several moments after the kicked leg search, this search landed on my site. I can help the person who did this search. The answer to what happens is simple and can be summed up in one word. . . PAIN. See the first search for advice on how to deal with the pain.
learn karate free online videos-Yeah, good luck with that. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again. You can NOT learn karate online. If you already have a basic understanding of it, you can look to the internet for videos that can supplement your learning. However, nothing replaces the importance of training in a dojo, with real live people. I highly doubt you’ll ever be fighting air.
is puke biodegradable-Yes, it is. Wish I would have thought of that at the beach.
my boyfriend does not want to propose-I constantly get searches from queries like this. Nothing you read on the internet is going to make your boyfriend propose. If you want to get married and he doesn’t and he’s not indicating that he has any plans to spend the future with you, get out now before you waste any more of your time.
why men can’t look woman in the eye– There are three possible reasons. 1. He’s looking at your chest. 2. He’s lying. 3. He’s too shy to. If the answer is 1 or 2, feel free to kick him in the shin.
i am pregnant and I think i have food poisoning-Oh My! I feel so sorry for you. Pregnancy can be puke inducing all on its own, but add food poisoning and you’ve got a nightmare in the making. Seek medical help immediately. Please. Trust me. And if you don’t believe this little snippet of advice, read this.
black mama AND beach ball sized belly– How did this search land on my site, and why in the hell is someone looking for these criteria? Oh yeah, I forgot. . . because beach-ball sized bellies are sooooo hot. It’s all the rage right now. You only need take a stroll around the mall to see a beach-ball like belly sticking out the top of some seriously too low jeans, on someone who should probably still be playing with Barbie dolls or Little People. Sad and wrong, just like that search.
little black biting fly 3 body segments swimming pool-Run for cover! No really, those bites are horrendous. Make it an indoor movie day.
my registration expired and my sticker is fake- O.k. that’s not good. My sticker wasn’t fake and I still had to pay an arm and a leg.
pictures of elderly doing martial arts– The fact that this search landed on my site is enough to make me want to curl up in the fetal position and sleep for a long long time. . .

While I’m sleeping off my sadness, go see my renter who is about to experience the first time in a long time that she’s been without parental responsibilities.