April 14, 2009
Hanging with the Boys
Lately, at the dojo, I have frequently been the only girl in class. There are definitely more men than women at my dojo. When you break it out and look exclusively at brown belt and above, there are even more men than women. I grew up a tomboy and my best friend in high school was a guy, so this has never bothered me. I seem to get along better with guys overall. From a martial arts perspective though, I began thinking about whether or not the guys take it a little easier on me.
Last night, we were paired up and spent the entire night trying to wail on each other with bat-sized sticks. Whenever we do these drills, we ease into them gradually. We start by working out distancing. Our partner starts swinging at us when we're just a hair out of reach. Then we add movement, first small movement, then big movements. Finally, we add some evasive maneuvers and techniques to combat someone wielding a club or bat at us. By the end of the night, it's usually a sparring type situation that can get pretty intense.
I was partnered with a brown belt guy, who I believe has a black belt in another style (a heavily into kicking style). I like working with this guy; we seem to work well together. The drills went fine, and then it was time for the free-for-all stick swinging. He was taking aim at me and my first movement brought some serious pain with it for my knee. The quick movements, twisting, pivoting and off-angle stuff still freak me out and cause me some trouble. Yet almost every week, I've been taken out of my comfort zone for drills that start harmless enough, but end with me being a nervous wreck. I simply haven't figured out how to adjust to my knee situation. My previous stances are uncomfortable so I've been forced to find new ways to stand. Something as simple as which foot to put in front is now troubling and feels uncomfortable.
It's really difficult to think about the stick swinging at your head when you're more worried about your knee and messing it up again. After the initial tweak however, I was able to make it through the drill. I got hit a couple times (thank God we had switched over to plastic), and I mostly felt like a total idiot. Being a teacher and having previously done a lot of public speaking, you'd think I could handle a little audience, but the four guys standing on the side were freaking me out too. They're all good, and I feel like I'm not, so it can be intimidating.
Later, I watched the guys switch it up and continue going at it. When my partner was out there with someone else, it was intense. He was throwing in some good kicks and techniques and I was really impressed. I also got the feeling that he had been taking it easy on me.
This, for a girl, is good and bad. It's good because I am smaller than these guys. Even though I'm of similar height to most of them, I am definitely a light weight. I don't fit the typical body type of a female karate-ka, at least not most of the ones I've seen and been around. Despite months of busting my butt at the gym, there's nothing you can really do when your genes say you'll be a 5'9", 135 lb string bean. I've built muscle, but it's still on my spaghetti frame. So, for that reason, I guess being treated a little differently is good.
I also think the guys are cautious around me because of my knee. They know I'm terrified of being injured again, and so they approach drills with me with kid gloves on. I get that, and I do appreciate it. But I guess there's a part of me that wishes it was otherwise. When I watch the guys out there, throwing each other around, and getting intense, I'm a bit jealous.
That's never going to be me. I'm not the girl who will be fondly recalled years from now as "the scrapper." I doubt there will be any legends told about me and my skills twenty years from now. I'm feeling more and more like I'm the blend-into-the-background type of girl in the dojo and I'm not sure how I feel about that.
People comfort themselves by saying that there's a reason for everything and that things happen for a reason. I, for one, would like to know the reason for some of these things. Like the ACL injury, for example. What was the purpose of that? Was it to make me quit karate? Was it to make me appreciate it more? Was it a giant smack-down from someone above telling me I'm out of my league? I know it's made me into a person who enjoys going to the gym and working out, but how does that fit in with karate and how things go at the dojo? Right now, I'm not seeing how the working out has benefited my karate. Will it make me a better martial artist in the long run? Will it harm my progress because I'm afraid (rightfully so), and because others are afraid to hurt me?
I don't want to go to the dojo and get a beat-down each week (I seriously can not sustain another injury), but at the same time, my purpose for being at the dojo is primarily self-defense. If the guys are taking it easy on me, then isn't this doing me harm in the long-run? Am I now seen as the delicate flower of the dojo? If that's the case, I'm not happy about it.
Last night I got home and iced my knee for a while. Then I had Mr. BBM come swinging at me and I tried to take him down using one of the techniques we worked last night. Without him knowing what I was going to do, and without him taking a dive for me, I simply couldn't make it work. Granted, he is bigger than the guys I usually work with, but it's still frustrating when something that had worked only hours ago, now doesn't.
As martial artists, we need compliant partners until we've learned the proper technique and control, but are my partners being too easy on me when it comes to helping me make techniques work? Is it because I'm a girl? Is it because of the ACL injury? Am I doing the same thing to them? Unfortunately, I don't think there are any easy answers to these questions.
There's a new place for ACL bloggers to hang out. Go here and click "join."
The winners will be announced tomorrow for the AMA month prizes!
April 13, 2009
A Family of Superhero’s
On Friday, Mr. BBM and I packed up the car and headed to western PA for Easter weekend. Instead of taking the vehicle equipped with a DVD player and headphones for the girls, we took our Subaru Forester for her very last long ride. We traded her in for a new car on Saturday morning.
Mr. BBM spent days convincing me the drive out and back, without a DVD player, would be "fun." I wasn't buying it and as usual, I was right, as usual-wait, did I say that already? Oh yeah, I did; but it warrants being said again. As usual, I was right.
The drive out consisted of Mr. BBM being ready to self-combust at any moment if the girls even tilted their drink or snack even slightly off a perfectly upright angle. He did this despite the beach towels he had put on the seats for the drive out. Big I decided it was a great opportunity to ask us all kinds of questions, like "Would you rather have ears where your eyebrows are, or a nose where your belly button is?" I should also note that each question was proceeded by a startling, "Daddy" or "Mommy." We swear she used those two words about 2000 times each direction of the four hour drive. She also used "Are we there yet?" enough times to make me volunteer to ride on the roof rack.
We won't even discuss Lil C and her non-stop whining. We just won't because I'd rather not have my head explode all over my lap-top.
We arrived at my father-in-law's home, knowing that they were in the middle of a big kitchen renovation, but people. . . we had no idea. The kitchen contents were in boxes in the family room. The kitchen cabinets were. . . gone. . . completely. Dishes were done in the laundry room sink and clean dishes could only be found on a table in the dining room. I stress "clean" only when the drywall man hadn't been there. Clearly, he does not believe in sealing off areas before sanding.
For cooking, there was a microwave.
You were waiting for a crock pot or electric skillet too, weren't you? Nope, not a one. At some point, Mr. BBM must have threatened to kill someone or himself because a coffee pot was eventually found and plugged in. Because of the state of the kitchen, we had to eat out for every meal, minus breakfast each day, which was microwaved oatmeal (and minus today's fantastic Easter dinner, cooked by my mother-in-law.)
Despite the stress of all of this, we had a great time. My father-in-law recently remarried a lovely lady and two of her adult children were also visiting. It became quite clear that there was some good-natured sibling rivalry between Mr. BBM's new step-sister and her younger brother who even refers to himself as "the glow." "The glow" can do no wrong; food even tastes better when you're in the presence of "the glow." It's really quite an appropriate nickname considering that it was only minutes before Big I was proclaiming her undying love for him. I had to kindly remind her that he's now her uncle, and you know, sort of too old for her. Plus, eight-year olds need to chill on "being in love." Seriously, although I must admit that "the glow" does have a stellar smile. Geez, even from hundreds of miles away, he's still having an effect on me.
What became even funnier than "the glow" and the antics surrounding him was Mr. BBM's stepmother and her patented "look." While we were busy answering Big I's never-ending list of questions on the drive out, my father-in-law was busy talking to his wife's kids about her classic "look" of death. Together they decided that a picture of this "look" should be painted on missiles that wouldn't have to even explode to scare our country's enemies. Seeing "the look" would be enough. They also decided that the problem with illegal immigration could be solved. Simply put "the look" on strategically placed billboards at our borders.
Having never been the recipient of "the look" (I'd only ever seen it from the side until this weekend), I could laugh but not know for sure. However, after my step mother-in-law saw the new mess in her kitchen after drywall sanding while we had been out, and the fact that my father-in-law had used their Dyson and not a shop vacuum to clean it up, I found myself standing between the two of them and caught "the look" straight on. All I really have to say about that is . . . "teach me, oh great giver of 'the look'."
When the weekend was coming to a close and all was said and done, I realized that I'm now part of a family of superhero's. "The glow" charms everyone around him; while "the look" can instantly make you regret ever having been born.
Despite getting a fabulous deal on the new car without them, I can't help but wonder what kinds of amazing things they could have done for us during negotiations, had they been there. After being warmed up by "the glow" and then subjected to "the look," it's entirely possible we would have been given our new car for free.
April 9, 2009
Pain That Makes You Work Harder
Tonight at the dojo reminded me why I love karate so much.
I've spent the last few weeks at the dojo trying to get kata back into my head. Of course, there was the occasional night where I had a bo coming at me full force, but most nights have revolved around kata, either open hand or weapons, and my brain trying to reabsorb and perfect it all.
Tonight, however, it was all partner work; and it was awesome. Hanshi had us take each scenario from a casual stance to mimic what might happen if someone approached you and started swinging when you weren't quite expecting it. We worked on parrying, back-fists, some crazy cool joint locks and jamming the bicep when you have an incoming round-house punch.
I was working with a black belt partner who I haven't worked with in a while, and we had a good time practicing on each other and exploring some potential other possibilities. It felt good to evade a punch and throw back some techniques. There's nothing more satisfying than seeing how a small portion of kata can turn into the perfect defense against someone looking to take your head off.
There were certainly some mess-ups on my part tonight. Learning something new is never perfect, but my partner and I worked through it and it was definitely a fun night at the dojo.
At one point, Hanshi came over and demonstrated one of the techniques on me. It reminded me, once again, how very good he is at what he does. For minutes after, my bicep was unhappy, as was the rest of my arm. He uses such amazing control, but when he hits you, man, do you know it! I never mind being his uke though; because when you feel that tweak of pain, it inspires you to work harder yourself.
Winners for Admired Martial Artists Month will be announced early next week!
April 8, 2009
Listening to the Knee Yoda
Last Thursday, I made the mistake of assuming that my knee would tolerate kneeling, as in butt back on the heels kneeling. I was very wrong.
I think I would have been ok if it had been a brief stay, but it wasn't. We ended up sitting in seiza for quite some time and I sat there awkwardly jutting my leg out to the side. Even if I could kneel completely, my knee brace wouldn't allow me to go that far. My brace is sort of like my mother, reminding me what I can and can not do.
I noticed my knee was a little crankier than usual over the weekend and I tweaked it again during my crazy yard lady four hour raking stint in my yard on Sunday when I sort of leaned back on my left heel at one of the areas in my yard that has decided it would like to be reclaimed by the depths of the Earth.
I should have called it a day, but I had a much needed appointment with my trainer at the gym, so after four hours of raking and seeding, it was time for more torture.
I had every intention of asking my trainer for some new leg exercises. I'm getting a little bored with what I've been doing. My knee has been holding up great through all of the increased reps and weights. I wanted something new; but when I sat down to stretch my legs out, I noticed a very sore and swollen knee.
I couldn't get full extension and my knee was really puffy. My trainer took one look at it and said, "We're doing arms," which is just what my arms needed after raking for four hours. He tortured my biceps, triceps and abs in new and horrible ways and then I went home to ice my knee.
I took my knee cocktail of my joint supplement, bromelain, and turmeric and topped it off with some ibuprofen. The knee was screaming for some. I iced it on and off until I went to bed, where I slept with it elevated.
On Monday, the swelling was down but I was still really sore. I was getting stiff after sitting for only a few minutes and I knew it was the kneeling that did me in because I was also super sensitive when I tried to bend my leg past a certain point.
I headed out to karate class anyway. I was up front with my instructor and told him I wouldn't be kneeling or doing anything to stress my knee. I also asked if we could refrain from doing anything involving abs, biceps or triceps, but the entire class decided that working joint locks on noses would be sort of short-lived and weird.
True to form, my instructor had me more worried about protecting my face and head than my knee and despite a couple reminders from the cranky knee during class, I actually finished class feeling better.
I'm still a little swollen, but it's definitely feeling better. Riding my stationary bike for 30 minutes last night seems to have loosened things up a bit. I am forever reminded of what my PT used to always say to me: "Listen to the knee." He's like my knee Yoda and I wish he would have been at the dojo when I was breathing through the pain of kneeling, telling myself to suck it up.
To prevent further swelling of my knee, you should really consider subscribing to my site.
For those bloggers recovering from ACL surgery, I've started a place just for us. Please join.
April 6, 2009
What is Sometimes Hidden, You Oversee
Not long ago I was bestowed the honorable certificate Of Kyoshi, through my Sensei, organization, and my peers (some of whom also share the same rank of Kyoshi). I was never the exceptionally talented student of the Dojo, but have received the complimentary nod of approval over the past thirty six years. I wrote an article last year for Admired Martial Artists on “ Kanjo “ Emotion, I hope some of you read and benefited from that advice. There are more qualified Sensei and Instructors out there who can train you physically and answer your questions, bettering your Martial Arts abilities than I could tell you, so I will let their advice take that precedence.
I am not an authority or claim to be one on martial arts behavior. I try to echo the words of the Sensei, Masters, Warriors, Philosophers, and Authors who have traveled that arduous road before me. Maybe I can relay to you some of their wisdom and thoughts, and you can draw your own conclusion, which might give some insight, on your journey, down the path of the Budoka’s Michi.
Kakusareta Hidden!
I was sitting on the floor in front of some spacious windows at my house with my note pad, contemplating what I should write this year. My minds attention was diverted to the sight of this large tree, and since it’s March there are no leaves, and it stood out predominantly against the crisp pale sky.
The tree contained a large main trunk, the same width and height (reminiscent of an average person), which then split into three main branches maybe four inches in diameter. From there three main limbs spewed, many smaller limbs, which grew many smaller branches to the hundreds of finest stems shooting upwards towards the heavens. I thought to myself, how convenient that I have found such a Shinto Metaphor. A somewhat comparative duality to the “ Deshi “ (the student), and Nature. The trunk, big and strong, being the Deshi, and the limbs being his or her arms and hands. What amazed me was how crystal clear the finest branches were, with its hundreds of stems going all different directions, reaching out into the sky, and I thought, this somewhat reflects the Deshi’s mind!
Miushinau to Lose Sight Of.
A new student usually physically excels rapidly, their abilities and body take a different shaping – stronger, faster, healthier, balanced (like a strong trunk) in a relatively short amount of Dojo time. As their skills continue to flourish, they start to reach plateaus in their training, which tend to get longer, and the Deshi starts to struggle psychologically. This mental struggle seems to continue no matter how hard they try to overcome certain aspects in their training. So they start looking elsewhere and expanding their mental branches, trying new technical electronic training devises, the newest up to date modern information, supplemented training regiments, which invigorates some enthusiasm to override this state of stale progression, but usually is a short term experience. Ultimately, they learned something new, but the form or technique that they struggle to comprehend is not new, it is of the old ways. So as students plateau they also experience a circling factor where they continue to encounter the same kinds of problems on various different levels.
After awhile students tend to question why they are spending so much time tormenting themselves, practicing some ancient and feudal art that has no value in modern society. They also hear the voices of their spouses and families expressing concern and discontent.
Why keep on going through this emotional roller coaster, of anxiety, sore muscles, and injuries that are inevitable in training? Why strive for a goal that is certainly unreachable?
While many budoka do indeed quit, some are filled with a strange sense, a slight hint at first that may seem like the feeling of guilt. The source of this anxiety is different though, it is actually a glimmering reflection of the Bushido. This sense or feeling has been unconsciously instilled in a practitioner throughout their training in the form of giri, or moral obligation. Through giri it becomes honorable to uphold oneself and the Mudansha and Yudansha that train hard and sweat right along side of you. This is one of the unreachable destinations of classical martial arts in that one needs courage, strength, and fortitude to forge oneself like steel, to face adversity, to endure all the barriers and trials in the Dojo and most of all, out of the Dojo in this modern world we face each day.
This is how the Martial Arts fit to modern society, not in battling your opponent, but waging the war of the self.
It is the forging of the self that makes responsibility and moral obligation, the technique to shaping better adults. This is the arduous road or path that we as martial artists travel, that the Budoka overcomes and shares the Spirit with fellow Deshi.
Let's look at the part of the Tree you don’t see. The Japanese word is ” Ne “(pronounce like neh ) Roots, or ” Nezuku ” to grow Roots, which metaphorically if you're following along,” Konpon “means Origin, or Foundation.
The Tree is just as vast below the surface as it is above the surface, and this is what maintains its balance in all types of weather. The soil “Tsuchi” (pronounce soo chee) and Ne, roots are what nourishes the Tree. Similar in the Martial Arts, Asian Heritage, Cultural, Spiritual, Religious and Ethical elements and principles, are the many facets and arteries that are deeply instilled within, and fuel the Arts themselves.
In recent years we’ve had the luxury of better understanding the roots of the tree through the help of Articles, Books, Films, and Music (parts of culture that previous generations couldn’t have had access to). Here in these chronicles, articles and stories is the Spirit, Courage, Honor, Bravery, Perseverance, Etiquette and Rituals, which through these Masters, Warriors, Sensei, Ryu, Priests, Scholars, Craftsmen, and Musicians are told the Hardships and Trials and Triumphant justice against countless odds. Whether it be the Battlefield or Dojo, the soothing melody of the Shakuhachi or the thundering of Taiko drums, to the Solitude of Poetry, to the Vibrations of the Buddhist Mantra or the Temple Bell, or to that quite distinctive taste of Sushi and Sake. The list could go on an on! The Physical Training still remains the same at the outer form, but it is this time to develop the inner form.
The inner self, this is also priority to daily training. Maybe something, in these elements might have that fuel, for you to forge ahead, to uplift your spirit, to divert some time to nourish the mind, not only the road of the body. Lastly there is an old book Written by a Samurai named Yamamoto Tsunetomo; it is stories of Samurai and their life and a way of behavior and response to that behavior in the Fuedal times they lived. But here I am just going to use the title as a fuse to start your search for answers. Its called “ HAGAKURE ” Hidden behind the Leaves.
As every Sensei continues to say, “ Keep Training!"
Sayonara Z san.
* * *
I would like to acknowledge and credit and list some authors and their books who write so in-depth and eloquently on the subjects that you just read about. You can order these at any bookstore. Also a list of some Music CD’s that have a variety of Traditional and Modern variations of Traditional Japanese Music, which also can be acquired at certain book stores.
Sword and Brush : The Spirit of the Martial Arts. by Dave Lowry
Traditions : Essays on the Japanese Martial Arts and Ways. by Dave Lowry
Furyu the Budo Journal. by Wayne M. Muromoto this is a Quarterly Magazine.
Japan: Kabuki & Other Traditional Music by Ensemble Nipponia Nonsuch Rec
Samurai Collection by Various Artists : Pacific Moon Records.
EASTWIND by Masayuki KOGA : Fortuna Records.
The linked books and musical selections above can also be purchased through The BBM Review store via Amazon. Just click on the link.
This is your last chance to leave a comment and be entered to win one of the Admired Martial Artists month giveaways.
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