May 12, 2009
The Kids That Keep You Up At Night
During my first year of teaching, I had a lot of challenging students. When you have an 18 year old driving to 9th grade and at least five kids who have probation officers, you know you're going to have some rough days. A quick scan of my class lists gave some of the veteran teachers chills. What a way to start off as a new teacher.
One of the students the veteran teachers warned me about was taking 9th grade English for the second time. As they started to tell their horror stories about Rob, I tried to block it out. I didn't want to have any preconceived ideas about my students. I wanted to give them all a fair chance at success without me walking in there with an expectation that they were going to be a nightmare for me.
It turns out that the student they warned me about became one of my favorite kids. He didn't turn everything in on time. He sometimes acted aloof in class, but there was something about him that I liked. He was no kiss-up and wasn't going to pretend that he appreciated Shakespeare to try to make me happy. He was as he appeared, and sometimes he was just not interested in being in class.
I was called to multiple conferences about this particular student during the year. I would listen as each teacher went around the room relaying horror stories about him and telling his Mom how he was going to fail, yet again. When they got to me, the room got very quiet. I had no problems with him. Although he was a straight C student at this point, he caused me no trouble at all. I just would have liked him to put a little more effort into his assignments. Behavior wise, I had no issues with him. It seemed that everyone else did.
About mid-year, we did a poetry assignment and what he turned in was not a typical poem. It was a rap that he had poured his heart and soul into. I couldn't have been more thrilled. He didn't try to duplicate a "roses are red" poem or plagiarize one off the Internet like many of my students did. What he turned in was authentic. It was also a bit raw and used some serious slang, but I liked it. I happen to like and appreciate rap. It was a turning point for him in the class.
Soon, he was writing journal entries about how he wanted to become a rapper. He was bringing in new songs for me to look over on a regular basis. Then, he brought me a demo tape that I still have somewhere. I thought it was awesome. I told him that what he was writing was poetry. I used his own work to show him examples of rhyming, alliteration, and the poetry patterns he was creating throughout his work. Suddenly, he had a new appreciation for English class.
His teachers continued to talk in conferences how he was disrespectful and inattentive; and then I would gushabout how talented he was and how once he saw the relevancy to his own interests, he became invested in English class and in his work. The other teachers just stared at me in disbelief. I was the only one who could see the good in this kid. I thought it was a real shame, and I think a lot of it was because many of those teachers walked into that classroom on the first day, knowing how he had been the year before, and assumed he was going to be the same disrespectful punk. I expected better from him, and he rose to the occasion.
This semester, I had a "Rob." He came from a rough background, lost his dad and two of his friends to drugs and suicide in the very near past, and although he was rough around the edges, I really liked him and saw a lot of potential in him. When I met with him mid-semester and told him he had a D and too many absences, he asked me if he should withdraw from the class.
I told him he needed to attend regularly and work harder! I spent so much time that day pointing out all the good in his work and telling him that I just needed to see more of it on time. He attended every class for a while and then he dropped off again. I was so disappointed. This weekend, as I sat grading final portfolios, it came time to grade his. He was missing his final paper, and two other major assignments that he had the entire semester to complete. Had he completed even one of the three assignments with any care, he would have been able to pass the class with a D-. Instead he failed.
I don't know whether or not he'll be back next semester. It's the kids like this that keep me up at night. What will he do if he's not in school? Will he follow the route his friends took and get involved with drugs again? Will he be able to straighten himself out and find the motivation to succeed? I found a way to get to my 9th grader many years ago, but as a teacher, you can't reach them all. This is one that slipped through the cracks; and I'm as disappointed in myself as I am in him.
May 11, 2009
This Movement Needs a Celebrity
As a suburban and blogging nobody, it's difficult to make companies like Dolce & Gabbana listen when I get upset. It occurred to me the other night that what this movement against violent advertising needs, is a celebrity spokesperson. Let's face it, people like me aren't exactly buying D&G items. People who read my blog probably aren't either. Celebrities do.
So how does a small-time blogger, Mom, and part-time instructor get the attention of a credible celebrity? How does one convince a celebrity to pick up the cause, get pissed off, and speak out against major fashion companies who objectify women and advertise shoes with images of gang rape?
Do celebrities care? Does anyone know one so we can ask?
May 10, 2009
My Wish for All Mothers
May the only "whine" you are around today. . .come in a glass.
Happy Mother's Day!
May 7, 2009
Just Call Me a Psycho Serial Killer
Today was my last class of the semester. I'm on break until the fall (after I finish all my grading of course). This semester was quite different from last semester. The class had very different group dynamics and I had issues with kids who lacked personal responsibility. Not every student had these issues, but overall, it was a big change from my class last semester. My first semester was not at all like that.
For the final class, both last semester and this semester, I brought in donut holes and we had a final day of fun impromptu speeches. Last semester, my students turned almost every impromptu topic around into something positive about how much they had enjoyed speech class or how much they had enjoyed having me as a teacher. They already knew where they stood grade-wise. It wasn't to kiss up. They liked me and the class and they let me know it. It was a great way to end the semester.
Today was a bit different. First, I had the students complete their evaluations of me. I have to leave the room during this time and I gave explicit instructions to my one student to collect them all and then come out into the hallway when they were all finished to get me. After 10 minutes had gone by, the volume was quickly rising from my classroom. It's not a group evaluation so talking is not required for them to complete the task.
Then I heard, "Well that's because you're a man-whore." That was it.
I opened the door, did a quick look around, asked them if they were finished and they all nodded that they were done and that my volunteer had the envelope of evaluations ready to go. Yet no one had come to get me. I got on their cases a bit, and told them I hoped the word "man-whore" wasn't a part of my evaluations, and then I broke out the donuts.
The students were tentative, so I pretty much ordered them to get out of their seats, and get some donuts so we could get started. I was sporting my classic look of irritation and frustration. We had a lot to finish up on our final day and the clock was ticking. Finally, they started moving.
I had each student write down two impromptu speech questions and then as the students got up to perform for one last time, they called on a student to give them a question. One of the questions was, "Why do you think Mrs. BBM is acting like a psycho serial killer today?" This question came from one of my responsible kids.
I asked him what he meant by that and he said that I was trying to make them eat donuts. . . "like a serial killer or something."
"Hmm, you know last semester, I brought in donuts and my students thanked me and told me I was awesome. This semester, I'm a psycho serial killer trying to kill you with my donut holes. I guess this is an appropriate way to end it all."
So, one of my most spirited students got the speech topic declaring me a serial killer and he did it quite well. I was almost convinced myself. As part of his speech, he said I had taught them through subliminal messages to go kill people and that I had spent time in jail for 30 murders.
When he was finished, I told him he did a fairly accurate speech, but that my murders were justified. You see, I had only killed people who didn't turn assignments in on time. I think I made my point.
As I was leaving campus today, I ran into one of my favorite kids from last semester. I asked him how his semester had gone and he said it was great, but that he wished he would have been able to take my class again. He then went on to tell me how he had to do a presentation for another class and he absolutely "killed it" and was the best one in the class. His professor had asked him where he learned to put a presentation together like that, and he said he learned it from me and my class. He then went on to tell me about his presentation and how he had attention and orienting material, how he used a personal anecdote, and a solid clincher in his conclusion.
It made me so proud to hear him say those things. I told him I was happy he was able to apply what he learned to other classes; and he went on to say that he'll use what I taught him the rest of his life.
There may be 17 completed potentially mediocre evaluations sitting on campus, critiquing me for not accepting late assignments, and for occasionally ranting about irresponsibility; but only one thing is important to me today. I taught that student how to "kill it" in his presentation. I guess I really do teach them how to kill.
May 5, 2009
This Woman is Ready to Start a Movement
I need to first make something very clear. I've never burned a bra (they cost too much money to do that and I need mine); and I've never gone more than like two days without shaving my arm-pits (and that was when I had ACL surgery and wasn't allowed to shower).
I took several women's studies classes when I was at the University of Pittsburgh. I had some great ones (mostly the literature ones), and I had some not-so-great ones.
One of the not-so-great ones was led by a total whack job woman who was further encouraged in her wackiness by a chorus of crazy female students. I hated the class and felt like it was this giant complain-o-rama about men. I also got berated on a daily basis by a group full of women students lacking basic hygiene skills who told me that because I did my hair and put on make-up, I was catering to men and making myself a sex object.
They considered me putting cherry chap-stick on, catering to men and becoming a sex object. Whatever. I skipped a lot of that class. Talking back to the girl who snorts insults at you while she very publicly sucks her thumb doesn't exactly feel fair in the grand scheme of things.
My Dad has always classified me as a "feminist" but he seriously has no idea how far off base he is in calling me a "feminist" considering some of my classmates in those classes.
I grew up swearing I would never have kids, and that I was going to be some high-powered lawyer and eat people alive who got in my way. I spent my college years in writing and communications classes. In one of my classes, I spent a semester researching how women were portrayed in advertising, particularly in men's magazines. I found ads for watches that featured a lifeless woman on the ground with a man's shadow standing above her. It was eye-opening and disturbing and I told anyone about it who would listen, but I wasn't exactly the type to swear off lipstick, burn my bra, and start rowdy protests. I'm not that kind of girl.
If you ask Mr. BBM about me and my "feminist ways," he'll tell you I'm a "true feminist," that I will fight for and speak up about women's issues, but that I won't be pigeon-holed into a liberal feminist agenda. Yes, I believe you can be a feminist and still be pro-life. I am.
I spent my years after college baffled at who I had become. Instead of going to law school, I got my Master's in Education. Instead of being the high-powered single girl, I got married at the age of 23. And then, after only working in the real world for two years, I got pregnant and left my career (where I was making more than my husband) to stay at home full time and raise my daughter.
Fast forward to present time, where I am now staying at home raising two daughters, and teaching at the university level. Today, I had three young women do their final speech on how women are portrayed in the media. It was a brilliant speech. They divided it into three sections: women in the 50's, women now, and the problems associated with the pressure society puts on women.
They talked about the typical 1950's housewife. They discussed Marilyn Monroe and then they moved into a visual showing the difference between models back then and models now. Some of the pictures were disturbing. When the speech was finished, it was followed by a Q & A session. After listening to these girls, rattling off statistics and facts and hearing them pour their hearts and souls into their presentations, I was shocked to hear some of the questions coming from the audience.
A lot of the guys felt like they were under attack, despite the fact that the girls said their speech was not to blame any individual person or group, but rather to bring attention to the way society portrays women in the media. Even some of the girls got worked up in the audience. "Well, don't these models have a choice to not be that thin? Well don't they have a choice to not have eating disorders?"
I was shocked.
The presenters hadn't done any blaming, only pointing out various facts and stats, and they were being eaten alive by an audience hungry to throw the blame back on them. I stepped in and redirected at times, but when all was said and done, I was sad and disappointed about it.
I've frequently heard women say that today's women don't care about women's issues the way women did 30 years ago. I obviously had a couple students concerned about it enough to create an entire presentation on it. But the opposition they were met with was downright shocking.
Is there no one out there who cares that high fashion ads are using women in violent ways to get their point across?
The above ad is for a shoe by the way, not gang rape, in case you weren't clear. Spain and Italy banned the ad saying it is no way was related to what they were trying to sell and that it was violent towards women.
And this one below? If you said shoes, and not stuffing some dead girl in the trunk of a car, well, then you would be right. You can read more about this ad here.
And then there's this one. Obviously advertising a man's suit. . .
Visit the site where I found this one for even more disturbing ads.
I think that we've become so used to seeing violence against people, and women in particular, that these images don't have the same kinds of effects that they used to have on people. And personally, I think that's a terrible shame.
As a Mom of two young girls who I don't want ever exposed to this kind of stuff, I think it's time that we started a little movement of our own. Companies who put out ads like this need to be contacted and told that their ads are disgusting, and that the public doesn't want to see stuff like this. It's simply not healthy.
To contact the US Dolce & Gabbana offices, you can write or phone here:
Dolce & Gabbana USA Inc.
148, Lafayette Street
New York, NY 10013
Tel.+1-212-750.0055
Loula is a company based in Melbourne, but you can email them at: Email: hello@loula.com.au.
To contact Duncan Quinn, you can write or call here:
8 Spring St.
NY, NY 10012
(212) 226-7030
According to a review I read online, the man himself actually mans the store quite often.
If you aren't bothered by these ads, or if you'd like to see more of what I'm talking about and what my young women in class were talking about today, then watch this:
There any many sites out there drawing attention to this kind of garbage and taking a stand against it. All one needs to do is google "violent ads women" and you'll find them no problem.
Will you join me in being outraged?
Will you join me in doing something about it?
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