September 12, 2006

Rockstar Recap: Week 11

Thankfully my parents are on the opposite side of town tonight and are not privy to my Tivo remote. I’ve been able to kick back (as much as a mama of a toddler who’s still awake can) and enjoy the finale week of Rockstar.

Ryan came back for an encore of his back seat song. He seems less (to steal a word from Lydia) "angsty" now. He said he’s recording and releasing his song and he seems like a happier person to be out on his own. I think that was the goal of a lot of these contestants, so that they can follow in Marty Casey’s footsteps. He and The Lovehammers have played numerous venues and have grown exponentially in popularity. Your own band and a big increase in popularity sounds like a dream come true for these contestants and I think that’s why a lot of them were there in the first place, Storm Large for one.

Back to the show. . .Toby performed first and sang the hell out of "Karma Police" by Radio Head. There’s really nothing to say about it other than that it was very good. He then had Magni come out and play guitar for him for his original tune "Throwing it Away." It’s a very catchy song and it felt like he should just have his own concert right now. I wanted to hear what the guys had to say about him, but I got a little distracted by Gilby Clark’s bouffant hair do. Is he playing a role in the upcoming "Dreamgirls" movie by chance? Or is there a Rockstar Supreme’s show coming up that he’s planning on auditioning for just in case Supernova becomes a Super flop?

Speaking of flops, Lukas performed Cold Play’s "Fix you". He was wearing enough sparkly blue eye shadow to supply all the teenagers of the 80’s and then some. I truly believe he was trying to be the punk Mick Jagger with that performance. When he performed a stripped down version of "Headspin" I changed my opinion from last week. It shouldn’t necessarily be called "Mumbling in a Microphone". Perhaps the stripped down version should be called "Growling in a Microphone" because that is exactly what he did with this version. I’ve got some new lyrics for him though. How about this: "You make my ears ache. Your eyelids are caked. Why? Why? (growl). The ending of his set was completely anti-climactic which means he is so going to win.

Dilana. . . What the heck was that tonight? She performed "Roxanne" and actually sang it and her voice was good. She apparently laid off the Lukas lessons because the Marlboro Man was at home tonight (until the original song). Her performance of "Roxanne" was nothing short of amazing, but she wrapped her set up with "Super Soul" and I was super bored. As Gilby says, her lyrics are too literal and the song is just dull. Although "Roxanne" blew me away, she won’t win. Remember Gilby Clark’s comment about her song writing skills from a few weeks ago. It shows in her original and they will pass.

Magni wrapped up the night with Deep Purple’s "Hush." It was exciting! His confidence has only grown over the past few weeks and he made himself a serious contender. His original "When the Time Comes" is good, but as Supernova said, it’s not exactly memorable. What was memorable was Magni’s guitar performance in Toby’s original song. If Supernova goes with one of the crazies, Toby and Magni should start a band together. That would truly rock.

I’m sticking with my guns and I’m going to say Toby wins as I did back at the start (Check the archives if you don’t believe me. I’m too tired to link to it.) Keep in mind however, that my fantasy football team lost this week when Larry Johnson of all people choked. . . so it’s been a bad week. I’m prepared for it to get worse. Lukas would seal the deal.

Posted by Black Belt Mama on September 12, 2006 in Rockstar | 2 Comments

September 12, 2006

The Letter I Did Not Write

September 11, 2006

Dear "Mrs. M.",

"Big I" is my first child in school so I’m pretty new at this. I wasn’t sure what to do ~~even though I strongly knew what I felt like doing~~. . .

. . . but I wanted to make you aware of what happened today. Big I had a problem on the bus. A girl named ~~Spawn of Satan~~ Suzie blocked her from sitting with another little girl on the bus, and when Big I sat down anyway, ~~little biotch~~ Suzie then used her body to push Big I off the seat. Big I ended up sitting by herself and when she got off the bus she was very upset ~~and I was freaking livid and thought I was going to need some blood pressure medication immediately to keep myself from turning into the Incredible Hulk~~.

I just wanted to make you aware of this since Big I tells me ~~the hateful wretched little brat~~ Suzie is also in her class. Big I said that the bus driver did not see what happened. However, when there are only a few children on the bus I would like to think that he would see what was going on, especially before the bus was in motion as the kids are getting seated. ~~In other words, why the hell wasn’t he paying attention??? AND, he better be paying attention from now on or else I’m going to take care of business~~.

I have talked to Big I about what to do in this situation should it happen again ~~("Firmly tell the little brat not to ever touch you again, and then if she pushes you again or tries to get in your way, you have my permission to take her down any way you know how.")~~, but I would like to think that this will be the first and last time ~~or else I’m going to get on that bus myself and personally crack some skulls~~.

If you could please let me know who would be the best person to contact regarding issues with the bus ~~so I can scream my head off at them and take my frustrations out on them~~, I would greatly appreciate it. I didn’t want to speak to the bus driver when he drops Big I off, because I’d prefer not to discuss it in front of the other ~~demonic monsters~~ kids. Thanks so much for your time.

Sincerely,

~~One seriously ticked off mama~~ "Black Belt Mama"

Big I has been going to Kindergarten for six days or so and she has been doing fine. Each morning she tells me that she doesn’t want to go, but she goes and comes home and usually has a couple positive things to tell me about her day. Last week, she even expressed an interest in riding the bus home from school and she’s been doing that for the past four days.

On Thursday, the bus pulled up to the stop and I was pleasantly surprised to see Big I sitting in a seat with another little girl. She got off the bus ecstatic and told me that this little girl was her friend and in her class. I was so happy; as was Big I.

On Friday, the bus pulled to a stop and Big I was sitting by herself. She emerged from the bus with a smile on her face, but then quickly dissolved into a heap of hurt feelings and told me that her "friend" didn’t want her to sit with her. My insides hurt just hearing the replay. She said that the little girl told her she couldn’t sit with her. She wanted to sit by herself.

So, we spent the weekend reassuring Big I and telling her that the little girl probably just wanted to sit alone. It probably wasn’t anything personal.

Yesterday, Big I got off the bus and immediately erupted into the story of how she got on the bus and tried to sit with a different little girl. The "friend"/bully girl blocked Big I from sitting and then when Big I sat down anyway, the girl pushed her out of the way and off of the seat. I stopped in my tracks on the way back to our house. "She did WHAT?" "Yeah, she pushed me," Big I said and retold the story. Big I then said, "She doesn’t want to sit by herself; she just doesn’t want to sit with me." My heart ripped in half and I could suddenly hear the blood rushing through my head.

If this were a Seinfeld episode and I were playing the part of George Costanza circa the movie theater episode (and oh how I wish it were), I would have jumped in my car, burned rubber out of the parking lot and followed the bus. I would have parked as the little "friend" emerged from the bus and then I would have followed her right up to her front door. I would have told her parent/parents how RUDE she was to my daughter and that I expect that she’ll be given a stern talking to, or else. OR else meaning, I will personally give permission to Big I to take that little biotch down to the ground if she dares push her again. I would have demanded an apology and not left until Big I got one.

Since this, unfortunately, is not an episode of Seinfeld and I can’t have a Costanza moment without being arrested, I told Big I that she does NOT have to tolerate that kind of behavior. I told her that if the girl dares to push her again she will respond in a stern and assertive voice, "Do NOT push me. That’s NOT nice" and she will sit wherever her little heart desires.

This isn’t just a minor little bus issue. You see, Big I comes home and decides to take out her frustration on Lil C and me by not listening and by pushing and being bossy with Lil C. I don’t tolerate it in this house, and Big I does not have to tolerate it on the bus.

I swore back when I was a teacher that when I had children I would not be THAT parent. You know, the one who calls the school and teacher about every little thing. But I could not let this one go. I could not let this child ruin my child’s day. So, with the help and guidance of one of my best friends who also happens to be a teacher, I wrote "Mrs. M" the email above (minus the strike-throughs and clip art of course) and got a lovely response back before Big I was even awake this morning.

"Mrs. M" replied that she will be speaking with "Suzie" personally, and that the principal will also be made aware. She thanked me for bringing this to her attention and told me that if it happens again I should not hesitate to contact her. She said she would then call Suzie’s parents. She also said she would personally speak with the bus driver when Big I got on the bus (out of ear shot of course).

Today, the bus pulled up and Big I was sitting in a seat with the two little girls. She got off the bus ecstatic. Apparently, Suzie had been summoned to the principals office. The teacher also reminded Suzie as they were lining up for the bus that she needed to be nice. When Big I got on the bus, Suzie asked Big I to sit with her. She was nice to her throughout the day. I hope this is the last issue with this particular girl. I am so thankful that Big I’s teacher is so awesome.

What I can’t help but wonder though is why little girls are so mean? Big I doesn’t have a mean bone in her body, as evidenced by her refusal to hit anyone while sparring at the dojo because she doesn’t want to hurt anyone or make anyone sad. I can’t be the only one raising my children to be kind and compassionate, right? So, where are the other nice little girls? And since when did Kindergarten become so catty?

Posted by Black Belt Mama on September 12, 2006 in Growing Pains | Comments Off on The Letter I Did ~~Not~~ Write

September 12, 2006

The Letter I Did Not Write

September 11, 2006

Dear "Mrs. M.",

"Big I" is my first child in school so I’m pretty new at this. I wasn’t sure what to do ~~even though I strongly knew what I felt like doing~~. . .

Sincerely,

~~One seriously ticked off mama~~ "Black Belt Mama"

So, we spent the weekend reassuring Big I and telling her that the little girl probably just wanted to sit alone. It probably wasn’t anything personal.

Posted by Black Belt Mama on September 12, 2006 in Growing Pains | 9 Comments

September 8, 2006

Remembering Ronald Tartaro

I remember everything about September 11, 2001. Our baby was just five months old and we were visiting relatives in western Pennsylvania, not far from the site of the plane crash in Shanksville, PA. When we turned the TV on and saw the horror of what was going on; I remember thinking that my life would never be the same. I remember crying and wondering how we would even get home. At least we were all able to go home. I remember the ticker going across the screen on CNN that began listing more and more names of those who had perished. It was so sad. I remember recognizing one of the names as someone I had gone to college with; but most of the names were just that. . . names. So many names.

Ronald Tartaro was one of those names and would not ever see home again. Ronald was 39 years old, an Executive VP for Fred Alger Management, which was located on the 93rd floor of the World Trade Center North Tower. Ronald Tartaro and his wife, Karen met at a party where she beat him at Trivial Pursuit. They were married in 1993. Karen had worked at Fred Alger Management and helped Ronald to get a job there as well. She left shortly after they were married to raise their family. They had three children together: two daughters and a son. Karen describes her husband as being "the most honest person she knows." She also said that he was "logical" and "reasonable" and that "he always did the thing that made the most sense."

Ronald was a first generation American, born of Croatian immigrants, and was the "star of the family." His family says that from a young age he was already making plans for his future. He had big plans for himself and from a young age was a happy person and sweet to others.

He loved the water and spent time as a child fishing and learning how to sail. He graduated from Columbia University with a B.A. in 1983 and followed it a year later with an M.S. He was an immediate success in the financial district and continued to move up through the years. He was in the process of building a larger house on several acres in NJ for him and his family.

One of the family’s great loves was getting outdoors and cycling. Ronald and Karen started off riding a tandem bicycle together and from what I’ve read about them, were as in sync on the bicycle as they were in their marriage. With the addition of their girls, they added a bike trailer; and when their son arrived, he took over the trailer and their eldest daughter rode a bicycle attached to her Mommy’s.

Ronald Tartaro’s other great love was sailing and his dream was to buy a sail boat and sail around the world. He wanted his family and friends to accompany him on different legs of the trip. His wife says that he almost had his sailboat funded.

I’d like to think of Ronald Tartaro as having that sailboat he wanted so much in life. I’m going to think of him as sailing above us all, watching over his wife, his daughters, his son, his sister, and his parents, patiently waiting until he can finally take them on a trip around the heavens.

Special thanks to The New York Times, CNN, The Columbia Spectator, and Newsweek who were all great sources of information about Ronald Tartaro. To read the other tributes that are part of the 2996, go here.

Posted by Black Belt Mama on September 8, 2006 in 100 Things and Other Stuff | 17 Comments

September 8, 2006

Nunchaku, you are DEAD to me

Last week, I made peace with nunchaku. This week, nunchaku decided our agreement was a bunch of crap and bonked me on the head. I thought we had an understanding, nunchaku! I did, however, learn an important lesson tonight (besides the fact that foam nunchaku is a very good thing). When you are using nunchaku, you must commit to a move and not change it, even if the move is wrong. When you are thinking that you’re going to catch the nunchaku behind your back, and then you see your instructor catch it in front of his chest, DO NOT try to change your motion mid-move. If you change your motion, you will have a very rude awakening. If you’re using wooden nunchaku. . . well, the thought of that alone makes me want to cry. Needless to say, I’ll be sticking with the foam nunchaku until I know the moves really well.

It’s a very good thing that I am able to laugh at myself. There are not too many people in the dojo who you hear screaming as the nunchaku they’re using threatens their face. Hi, yeah, that’s me and I’m not ashamed. I’m also not ashamed when my instructor decides to show the white belts the bunkai of their kata, Nai Hanchi Shodan, and decides that he will treat me as a human house of cards.

Tonight, as the white belts stood there watching his every move, my instructor used an on-guard position to trap my neck and send me dropping like a brick onto the floor. I’m a tall girl. At 5’9", when I drop, people know it. There were audible gasps and "Woah’s" and one "That had to hurt." My instructor responded with "She’s a green belt. She can handle it." I reminded him that this green belt happens to be a little older than your average green belt, but I think that’s part of what makes it more fun for the younger lower belts. When you see a mama dropping to the ground, they have visions of doing that to their own. Who wouldn’t like that vision after being asked to clean your room for the 14th time?

I also had the opportunity to work with a little yellow belt who will be testing next week for green. I worked on his kata and waza with him and helped him with kicks and self-defense as well. He’s very good at his kata, so I basically helped him with the little nit-picky stuff. It was so nice to be working with someone who wants to know their kata. I’m really hoping that Big I gets there sometime soon. Self-defense and waza are not a problem for her, but when it comes to kata, I think she gets overwhelmed and shuts down.

I told her that this weekend, we are breaking down the kata into small parts and she’s going to master each part over the course of three days so that she has six days or so to practice it as a whole for testing next week. She hasn’t tested the last few times because she really wasn’t ready. I want her to be ready this time. I really think that once she starts seeing more color on her belt, she’s going to get more motivated. She likes it when we line up at class and she’s not hanging out at the low end by herself. She likes having people below her, but she’s got to start practicing more if she wants to keep moving forward. It can’t be fun to watch others moving forward while you’re stagnant yourself.

With testing only a little over a week away, we worked tonight on weapons kata’s and self-defense. The self-defense I need to know for 3rd kyu is tricky. I need to know how to get out of a full nelson, a rear double wrist grab, and I also need to know how to get out of being held down on the ground or up against a wall. Practicing being held down on the ground doesn’t really happen at class. Unless it’s a women’s self-defense class, it’s just too awkward. So, our instructors usually demonstrate and then I take it home to have my husband sit on top of me while he threatens to tickle me and I threaten to head butt him if he doesn’t knock it the heck off right now, damn it.

He’s got me by a good 60 lbs or so and he’s a bigger guy. At 6’3" he dwarfs me so when I do the technique on him and it works, I know I’m good to go. Tonight I asked him to grab the front of my shirt and hold me against the wall. When my original plan of sending his elbows in wrong directions didn’t work, I grabbed his jaw/neck and twisted him off of me. He immediately let go and stumbled back away from me. "Ouch. Man, I think you just rubbed my gland or something," he said as he rubbed his neck. That was not the technique I was going for, but apparently I discovered something that works. We both erupted in laughter and moved on.

Next, I had him hold me down onto the floor. Whenever I’m trying something fairly new, I’ll sort of contemplate for a minute or two before I do the technique. My husband uses this as an opportunity to start talking trash at me, which usually makes me crack up laughing, which makes performing an unfamiliar technique that much harder. When I couldn’t do the technique right, we switched roles and my husband sent me flying and my elbow popping, literally. It was reminiscent of the whole knee going in a completely wrong direction thing of a few weeks ago. I started a tirade of ouch’s and other "pleasantries" and he cracked up laughing. He continued laughing until we switched places again and I wrapped his neck up pretzel style with my legs and heard him mumbling from the bottom of the pile, "Yeah, that works. No really. That definitely works."

So the injury count tonight is one sore popped elbow and one "rubbed" neck gland. I think my elbow is a bit more serious than a "rubbed" gland but that’s just me. I’ll have to let everyone at my dojo know that gland rubbing is the new joint lock (I swear, he’s still rubbing his neck a good hour after the incident). I’m also patting myself on the back for picking up the foam nunchaku during class tonight, or this post might have been brought to you from the ER. I think the nunchaku and I need to renegotiate our terms.

My new post "Would Dr. Phil Approve?" is up at Save the Soldiers. If you enjoyed reading about my husband and I sparring, this post offers some more analysis.