November 14, 2006
“Wii”diculous
Cabbage Patch Dolls, Tickle-Me Elmo, Elmo TMX (or whatever the name is). . . Do you know what these toys all have in common? At one point they were THE toy to have for Christmas. If I remember correctly, my Mom stood in line to get my sister and I each a Cabbage Patch Doll way back in the day when they were all the rage and every little girl MUST. HAVE. ONE. AND. NOW. Elmo is the little kid toy of that caliber this year, I suppose.
But nothing compares to the Wii.
Yes, you heard me correctly. Have you heard of it? Wii. It’s just a new gaming station that has a wand that you actually use instead of sitting there pushing buttons. It’s the "active" gaming system that my husband decided our daughter must have for Christmas. "It will be great!" he said enthusiastically a few weeks ago. "It will get her up and moving around. It’s so cool!"
A monotone "great." That was my response. He showed me demo’s on the internet and I was slightly swayed. I am NOT a video games type of gal. Never have been, I doubt I ever will be. But I thought it at least looked interesting.
So, like stupid first-timers when it comes to wanting the Christmas frenzy toy, what do we do? We ask Big I if she’d be interested in something like that for Christmas. Frankly, we’re up to our nostrils in princess gowns, crowns and sparkly shoes and could use a little break from all things princess for a bit. She decided that, "YES!", that would be so "a-citing!" ("exciting" in Big I-ese).
And then the worst possible thing happened. No pre-orders, or we missed them or something, because as parents, this is the first time that we’re wanting the frenzy toy. We had no clue. We checked online and at all the local stores, and none of them are doing pre-orders anymore. Each store is getting about 12 Wii’s for the non-preordering folk. Freaking fabulous.
So, Saturday night, instead of kicking back with a nice glass of wine and watching Saturday Night Live, my husband will probably be at Walmart, anxiously awaiting the midnight release of the all powerful Wii. When he arrives, I will venture a guess that he’ll be in line behind people who’ve been camping out since yesterday, people who’ve decided that peeing in public is a perfectly acceptable thing to do (or that peeing in Depends is o.k. too), people who have brought along a cooler full of candy bars and Yoo-hoo’s, totally prepared for the five day pilgrimage in the line of Walmart, people who will not hesitate to hit a person over the head with that cooler or bottle of Yoo-hoo if they even think you’re trying to cut them in line. I will also predict that the few many greedy Ebayers who preordered 15 Wii’s a piece will waltz to the front of that line, pile up their cart and rub their greedy little troll hands all the way to the bank, err, I mean, their computer where there will be approximately 196 bids for each Wii system. People will bid up to $600 dollars or more for a system that costs less than $300. Don’t believe me? Go to ebay right now and search for Wii.
Unbelievable if you ask me.
I can assure you that Mr. and Mrs. BBM will not: engage in any activities that would require martial arts skills just to get a Wii, buy Depends in an attempt to outlast the losers already in line, or pay a ridiculous amount of money to a bunch of greedy jerks on Ebay just so that our daughter can wake up with a Wii on Christmas morning.
If we’re successful getting a Wii, great. But my instincts are telling me we won’t be, and Santa is not above giving out an IOU as I’m sure the stores will be stocked the day after Christmas. Christmas isn’t about what’s under the tree; it’s about being together, as a family, on a day that’s about so much more than the gifts.
And to all you pre-ordering people selling them on Ebay for an insane amount of money. . . Bah Humbug to you!
November 8, 2006
Nunchaku Conquered
It felt almost ceremonial tonight when I arrived at the dojo. There was a brief moment of hesitation, a deep breath, and then I reached into my karate bag, pulled out the foam nunchaku that I’ve been borrowing from my instructor, and with only a bit of reluctance handed them back to my instructor. I’ve graduated to wood.
Last week, I decided that it was time. Concussion, bloody nose, bruised face, back, whatever. . . it was time. So with no one as a witness, I gave Odo No Nunchaku a whirl with my wooden nunchaku and the whirl worked. I went through the kata slowly, making sure I had each transition right or at least slow enough that if I messed it up, I wouldn’t be paying for it. And I did it.
I was even able to make the little whooshing noises that the black belts make when swinging their nunchaku through the air. It felt really good.
I figured that I might as well start working with the wooden nunchaku now. I need to get used to them. I needed to step up to the challenge. If green belts can use wooden nunchaku, then so can I.
Although my advanced class has been rather crowded as of late, tonight it was only me. We ran through the nunchaku kata several times, and then we moved on to my insane bo kata, Chounokun.
Just like with the nunchaku kata, my instructor broke the kata up into somewhat manageable parts and just drilled it into my brain. I know I probably won’t retain it all until next week, but enough of it is in there that it will come back without too much trouble.
Three difficult kata’s to learn for 2nd kyu. . . three kata’s down. It feels really good.
November 7, 2006
Advice for Politicians
I don’t outwardly discuss politics here, mostly because I’d rather spare myself the hate mail and seedy comments that the political talk would surely draw. But on this election night, I have something to say that I’m sure everyone can agree upon, whether you bleed blue, red, or something in between.
While watching the coverage tonight, the news reported that Hilary Clinton spent over $29 million on her campaign. I’m not in NY, but if NY is anything like my state, I’m sure a lot of that money went towards stupid political ads that go something like this:
Joe Schmo doesn’t deserve your vote. Joe Schmo eats babies for breakfast and the elderly for dinner. No seriously, with a side of ketchup, he devours them. He also hates kittens and tries to run over puppies whenever he takes to the road.
Wouldn’t it be amazing if all that money went towards something useful? Maybe something like compensating our troops the way they should be, maybe using it towards medical research that could lead to cures for horrible diseases, etc. etc. etc. Let’s be honest here. How many people are actually swayed by the ridiculous ads on TV? One ad that I saw frequently said that X candidate "would vote to eliminate birth control in all 50 states, even for married couples." I mean, COME ON already. That’s not true; it’s just stupid.
So, here’s some advice for getting elected next time around:
- Instead of telling us all the crappy things your opponent has done, tell us something YOU have done or will do.
- Don’t let Bill Clinton, Rudy Giuliani, Hilary Clinton, Tom Ridge, Muhammad Ali, Osama Bin Laden, whoever, record messages and call my phone number with them daily, hourly sometimes. The minute I hear them, I hang up as I’m sure everyone else does. Well, except for maybe a few elderly people who actually think Bill Clinton is calling them and get all excited about it until they realize that, Gee, he’s being awfully rude to me, what with his not letting me have a turn to talk and all.
- If you must call, then at least look at the clock. Calls after the polls have closed are a waste of time, and are infuriating. Calls when my baby is sleeping are also very bothersome.
- When the newspaper asks you questions for the voter’s guide, answer them. If you don’t respond, it looks like you don’t care, and then why should anyone care to vote for you?
- Don’t send me glossy junk mail telling me all the crappy things your opponent has done. If you really feel the need to send mail, send out one simple letter listing all the things you have done or will do. How about a resume? You are trying to get a job right? If I walked into an interview with glossy handouts telling you what’s wrong with all the other people you’re thinking about hiring, you’d walk me out the door, right? Don’t make the same mistake.
- Be above it all. Sure, it’s tempting to lash out when someone speaks untruths about you. But show that you’re the better person. Take the high road. If your opponent comes out and says things that aren’t true, correct them in a productive matter. See #5.
- Instead of sending out pathetic looking college kids that go around door-to-door handing out materials, get off your bum and get out there yourself. Voters want to hear from you. They want to ask you questions when they’re sure there’s not an iron clad script in the vicinity. Visit restaurants, malls, anywhere where you can get out there and show that you’re a normal person, not just some awkward troll with bad hair.
- If you get elected to office and want to be elected again, do something. Don’t just sit there and twiddle your thumbs or pick your nose. If you’re going to talk the talk, then walk the walk.
- What happens in our state and even in our country is not the fault of the President of the United States. There are many elected officials who make decisions, and voters who put them there. We do not live in a dictatorship. So, when your entire campaign to be elected has to do with the fact that you hate the President, it’s desperate and pathetic. Stand on what YOU have done or vow to do, not what someone else has or hasn’t done.
- When you get in office, remember that you will only continue to remain there if you hold up your end of the bargain.
Enjoy the silence from your phones tomorrow. I know I will.
November 5, 2006
Celebrity Encounter OR I MET SEBASTIAN JUNGER!
When one of my former teaching buddies in Delaware emailed me about a Book Fair that was going to take place in Delaware, I was, at first, only mildly interested. I pictured it as a place to buy books. But when I went to the website, I was amazed at how many awesome authors and illustrators were going to be there and I just had to be there. I especially had to be there when I was that one of my all time FAVORITE writers was going to be there: Sebastian Junger.
If you don’t know the name, Sebastian Junger wrote The Perfect Storm which was turned into an international best-seller and blockbuster movie. He also wrote Fire; his latest book is A Death in Belmont.
Back when I was first married, I worked as an assistant editor for a small literary journal. I went to a writing conference and met some really cool writers like Gay Talese, and Tobias Wolf who wrote This Boy’s Life. After the conference was over, some of the talks and readings that the authors gave were broadcast on C-Span’s "About Books". They were interesting and my husband and I would occasionally check out who they were featuring. One particular night, Sebastian Junger was giving a reading from The Perfect Storm. He was mesmerizing and his writing was just amazing.
With a degree in English Writing, Creative Nonfiction, I found his writing particularly intriguing. He was the kind of writer I wanted to be someday. My husband and I went right out and bought his book and we both loved it.
On Saturday he spoke (or tried to anyway while I snapped about eight pictures of him from the front row), and was amazing.
He’s such an interesting writer and a nice person. He spoke about his latest book and then took questions. He said we had time for one more and another man and I both had raised our hands. He said, "Ok, well two." He answered the first question and then gestured in my direction and asked me for my question. I asked him about his writing process in relation to how he balances being immersed in the moment with taking accurate notes/recordings. He spent a good deal of time answering my question and then ended the session.
I jumped right up and asked him if he’d mind taking a picture with me. He said, "Not at all" and seemed almost shy about it. And then. . . HE PUT HIS ARM AROUND ME and my friend snapped our picture. I gushed about what a big fan I am of his writing and how I think he’s such an amazing writer, and how I first saw him on C-Span and went right out and bought his book and loved it. . . etc. etc.
Then, I followed him over to the book signing and he signed my book. I watched people. He signed most of them "To ‘name’, Sebastian Junger." He signed mine, "To ‘my name’, BEST WISHES, Sebastian Junger." BEST WISHES!!!!!!
I told him what a pleasure it was meeting him. I think I might have jumped up and down a bit, or a lot. It was so cool!
We also met young adult authors, Lara Zeises and Jordan Sonnenblick. They were both so interesting and really made me want to go out and get their books. Big I got a book signed by Steven Kellogg (The Mysterious Tadpole) and Mr BBM sat in on his presentation with the girls. He said he was incredible and that he illustrated the entire time he spoke. He actually made a personal illustration in every kids book.
It was an amazing day, full of really inspiring presentations that just made me want to read everything and try to write a book.
But for now. . . I MET SEBASTIAN JUNGER!!!!! And by the way, his new book is AWESOME!
November 1, 2006
One of these things. . .
I’ve been watching a lot of Sesame Street lately, and it’s a good thing. Because tonight during karate class, I had a certain song in my head. . .
One of these things is not like the others,
One of these things just doesn’t belong,
Can you tell which thing is not like the others
By the time I finish my song?
Here’s another version of the song, and this one works too. . .
Three of these kids belong together
Three of these kids are kind of the same
But one of these kids is doing his (her) own thing
Now it’s time to play our game
It’s time to play our game.
Can you guess? Do you know what I’m talking about. In the above song, substitute "four" for three. In the third line, substitute "people" for "kids" because I’m obviously not one of those and this is the PERFECT song for tonight.
Hello nunchaku, my old friend. Nunchaku is one of those friends. You know the kind. The idea of the friend is great. You sort of build them up in your head. But then, when you’re around said friend. . . it’s not so much fun after all. In fact, your friend? Kind of annoying. It’s not that fun hanging out with your friend after all.
My advanced class is growing rapidly. It now consists of three black belts (in addition to our instructor), me, and two young green belts. I say young like they’re so different from everyone else in the class. Let’s put it this way. All attendee’s other than me and the instructor have yet to graduate from school (some from elementary school). So, when we did the nunchaku kata the first time around, we went slowly. The green belts were new to it. My instructor then asked the greenies to have a seat so that the higher ranks could run through it quickly. I’d be lying if I said I didn’t want to go hang with the green belts. I may have taken a step or two back towards then in an attempt to just sort of sit without drawing attention to myself.
Doing a nunchaku kata with four black belts is just a tad bit intimidating. There they are, whipping around wooden nunchaku; and there I am, trying to avoid smacking myself in the face with a foam set. So we ran through the kata. . . the black belts sent their nunchaku slicing through the air making the dojo sound like a Star Wars set. I just tried to keep up. I did a lot of "hmph"ing to myself and tried to make light of the fact that I am slow as molasses with those suckers.
Maybe I should watch some Star Wars movies or something to get inspired. Wait, did I just say that? That statement alone is enough to show you what type of detrimental effects this nunchaku kata is having on me. I’m typing something with the words "Star" and "Wars" in it and I just know it’s only a matter of time before my husband my husband read this and is whipping out the DVD’s and calling for a weekend marathon. . .
and then?
I’m going to get out the wooden nunchaku and knock myself out on purpose.
Song lyrics are from this site.
Copyright
© Copyright 2006-2019 blackbeltmama dot com ALL RIGHTS RESERVED
Follow Me
Blog Designed By
My Creations
Things You Could Care Less About
