Visiting the Old Haunts and Corrupting the Children
On Thursday morning, Mr. BBM and I packed up the kids and headed off to Pittsburgh. A couple months ago, my parents took Big I to the "happy valley" or as we Pitt grads like to call it, "enemy territory." She came home with a Penn State hat and a Penn State t-shirt for her little sister which is currently being used as a cleaning rag residing at the bottom of her drawer. Big I also came home with the idea that she was going to attend Penn State one day. Mr. BBM and I have been silently biding our time.
The time was Thursday.
We arrived in Pittsburgh and when she saw the Cathedral of Learning, she was intrigued. Who wouldn't be?
We quickly passed by the Pitt campus and went to one of my favorite places where I waitressed while in school, the Union Grill on South Craig St.
Everyone who reads here knows that I kind of watch what I eat and try to eat healthy. It's part of the martial arts lifestyle (or should be anyway) and I do my best to eat well. Well, for the past four days, I ate really well, but not exactly the healthy way.
My favorite thing to eat when I worked there was a cheddar cheeseburger (that was seriously like the size of my head) along with a generous side of garlic roasted mashed potatoes with mushroom gravy. I used to make myself feel a little better by putting a slice of tomato on top of my burger. Vegetables, you know.
I did the same thing on Thursday and I enjoyed every single bite of that delicious enough-calories-for-an-entire-week meal. The mashed potatoes and burger which have frequented my dreams over the years tasted the same. It was like the entire world disappeared when I was eating that meal.
After gorging ourselves, we headed a few blocks over to Pitt's campus. We both knew that the girls would be impressed with the Cathedral of Learning so we started our tour there. Big I and Lil C both thought it looked like a castle and couldn't believe that we had taken classes in that building. We took them up to the 36th floor and showed them the rest of the campus and the city from above. They were impressed.
Next we walked through the library before taking them to the fountain in front of the Frick Arts building.
We let them walk around in the fountain with their shoes off and we knew we had them both. Happy what? That's right.
The art building was equally impressive and they enjoyed walking through the countyard garden around the fountain on the interior of the building.
Then we let them ride the new carousel on the lawn. After that, Mr. BBM bought them some kind of Asian bubble drink. We knew we had them both at the Cathedral. We were laying it on thick and they were loving it.
"So what do you think?" we asked Big I.
"I'm so going HERE!" she yelled out.
We bought a Pitt sweatshirt for Lil C and a new Pitt hat for Big I and we drove off to drop off Mr. BBM for his business meeting.
We spent the night in a nearby area with Renovation Girl and had a great time. I literally ate my way through that entire visit too. I need that orzo recipe RG!
In the afternoon we went back to Pittsburgh to retrieve Mr. BBM and decided we'd have dinner at Johnny's Place on North Craig St., the place where Mr. BBM and I met many years ago, instead of fighting with traffic to get out of the city. It wasn't 20 seconds after we walked in and Johnny was already asking us how we've been. I swear the man forgets no one.
Johnny and his wife Karen, used to keep their place open late at night and it was the place to be in North Oakland back in our day. Johnny used to mix up new shot concoctions and let us try a pitcher of them on the house to see how we liked them. He always had the best drinks and the most amazing food. His burger rivaled the Union Grill's and his wings. . . there is no comparison.
Several years ago, Mr. BBM had a trip out to Pittsburgh. He asked me if I wanted him to bring anything back for me and I told him "wings from Johnny's." They survived a flight home beautifully and I was a very happy girl. When we walked in, Johnny immediately asked Mr. BBM how those wings turned out after the long trip home. It was like no time had passed. It has been at least six years.
Most wings are too gummy, not cooked long enough and either drowning in hot sauce or completely dry. Johnny's Place has the most perfect wings; and one of these days when this wonderful couple retires, we're on the list for the recipe. The heat is not overwhelming, but just right and there's this spicy hint of asian sweetness to the sauce that is just amazing. Many of the Pittsburgh Steelers have signed his wall and call ahead to get their wings there too.
We sat at the bar with the girls and like old times, Johnny gave us one round on the house. Each time we have gone back over the years, it's been like visiting old friends, old friends who really know how to entertain.
Johnny's Place is currently for sale and there's no telling how long they'll continue to remain a glorious little spot in Oakland for wings and conversation. But as long as they're there, we're going to continue visiting.
I'll deal with the extra ab exercises that this weekend's caloric intake will require. It was so worth it. Pittsburgh, I really miss you sometimes.
Redemption, Bands and Breakfalls
For those who have been keeping vigil, wondering about the state of my back and butt, I thank you for your concern. I'm still a little sore, but I'm fine. On our last night of vacation, we went to the same restaurant. As we were ordering and I was trying to maintain proper balance on the center of my chair, a woman at the table next to us knocked her chair over and almost had a fall herself.
I call that redemption.
We wrapped up our vacation with a great last couple of days. On Thursday night, Mr. BBM and I went out to dinner by ourselves, and then went into the tavern to hear a reggae/rock band play. They were really good and we had a lot of fun (and a lot of rum). I spent a lot of time laughing at some of the locals down there who are absolutely insane.
I also invited the band to come play at a party I plan on having this summer on my new patio (once it's installed). I think they're planning on coming because as we were leaving, the guitar player gave me a high five and said, "see you at the party."
On Friday, we had a decent beach day and we spent the day building castles and having a blast. The dolphins were all over the place and my Dad spent the day kayaking around with them. Big I also took a kayak ride which ended up being much more of a ride than she bargained for. When the kayak dumped her after my dad lost his grip on the front of it, she was flipped out of the kayak and spent some time underneath it, under the water. She screamed, cried, coughed up some sea water and then told me that she had done a breakfall so that was why she was ok. Apparently, I wasn't the only one thinking about the martial arts while on vacation.
I'll be sure to post some videos and pictures, just as soon as Mr. BBM airbrushes my butt into a smaller size. Stay tuned.
Aution Ho!
Last night I convinced my parents to join us for a hibachi dinner. Our chef was hysterical. I think he said "Oh My God" and WasaBAY-BEE about 4000 times during our dinner. He also pelted my Mom in the head with carrots and peas. His aim was a little off. He also told my parents, who ordered well done steaks, that their dinner would be ready sometime tomorrow.
He called all of us "sweety-hearts" as he put our food on our plates and then would say "love you long time" and crack himself up laughing. No one really got it except for me. If you're a regular reader here, then you know about my rap music obsession. I have a strong appreciation for old school stuff. He also said I was a beautiful girl (using the tone from the Pharell/Snoop Dog song) and that Mr. BBM is a lucky man about 200 times. Clearly, I liked him a lot.
Despite how hysterically funny he was, the best moment of the night came before he arrived at our table. Big I was reaching out toward the cooking surface and we told her it was very hot and to keep her hands back.
"How do you know?" she asked.
Without missing a beat, Mr. BBM said, "Because it says 'aution ho!' right there."
Big I looked at him funny and asked what that meant.
Meanwhile, for 5 seconds after he said it and before I realized what had happened, I was thinking to myself, "Ah, 'aution ho' must be Japanese for 'Caution hot." Hmm, interesting. You learn something new every day."
And then I realized that the "c" and the "t" had just worn off. Japanese it was not.
We all spent the rest of the night telling each other "aution HO!" with emphasis on the second part, obviously. It seemed to fit well with our rap-song-singing chef.
Mermaids, Castles, and Beer Pong
At 4:30 a.m. on Saturday morning, my family and I set out for our beach week. The drive was fairly uneventful. There was one necessary stop at a shady bathroom where Lil C spent the entire time questioning me as to why I was using toilet paper to line the seat before I allowed her to sit (Yes, sometimes, I temporarily turn into my grandmother and I'm cool with that). There were also people lined up before 9 a.m. to buy malt liquor in the store (Apparently they start early in those parts). We arrived here on the Outer Banks around noon and were able to get into our beach house earlier than usual. That's always a good thing, especially when you only get about three hours of sleep the night before.
We spent Saturday afternoon unloading the cars and settling in to the beach house. This year, we're oceanfront and we're enjoying that immensely. Yesterday, although it was cloudy much of the day and very windy, we spent the day on the beach and I wasted no time getting to work.
This year, the girls ordered a sculpted mermaid and the biggest sandcastle yet (pictures forthcoming, as soon as Mr. BBM gets his act together).
Mr. BBM made me a pile for the castle the size of a manatee, and I spent my afternoon sculpting from the top down. My dad and I decided that I need a mist bottle. These aren't your ordinary sandcastles anymore. This morning, the sculpture of the mermaid and the castle are still there and are being used as a photo backdrop for many a vacationer's picture. Big I was anxiously awaiting going down to the beach so that she could claim ownership and tell people that she helped; then my Dad broke it to her that our mermaid had been given some "plastic surgery." Two boobs turned into just one. Fantastic, and no, I don't have a picture of the new and improved.
The girls are having a great time, although Lil C has absolutely no fear which can be a bit terrifying for a parent. She's been a little cranky lately and a visit to Urgent Care this morning confirmed that she has a sinus infection. She's on antibiotics but that hasn't stopped her ornary need to sit on every sandcastle that exists on the beach.
Last night I suggested that my parents learn how to play beer pong and to our complete surprise, they agreed that it sounded like fun. We drove several miles up the beach to the K-mart so we could buy ping-pong balls. We're getting the cups today. Last night we realized we didn't have any good beer pong quality cups to play with so the game was postponed to tonight. My Dad woke up at 5 a.m. today so I'm figuring that by this evening his aim will be off and I'll be grand-champion.
Many years ago, I came home with a 4.0 GPA and my Mom was thrilled. My parents broke out a couple bottles of champagne and we drank it while playing Scrabble. At one point, my Mom announced that she was "stoned." She meant buzzed, but used the wrong word and we've never let her live it down. I'm thinking tonight, she'll be a bit stoned if the game goes on as planned.
Where NOT to Honeymoon Part II
This story is continued from a previous post.
We awoke in the morning to more rain, but at least we could see where we were. Our surroundings were beautiful, but that didn’t change our disgust with the situation. Mr. BBM tried to call our travel agent. She basically told us her hands were tied. We weren’t getting in to Sandals St. Lucia anytime soon. We decided we’d make the best of it.
The sun began to come out. For once the rain had stopped, so we thought we’d go play a quick set of tennis. To get around the resort, either a golf cart or a van would come to transport you. They dropped us off at the tennis/spa area and we started to play. We were the only idiots stupid enough to be playing tennis instead of enjoying the spa. But spa treatments were not covered by Sandals so we stayed away. In retrospect, we should have gone and made them pay for it. I’m sure we could have convinced them that we ate a sugar wrap or cucumber mask instead of bathing in it.
The air was thick with humidity and we barely made it through the set when it started to rain again. We had no idea that they were so serious about October being part of the rainy season when we booked our honeymoon. When we arrived back at our villa, all I wanted to do was take a shower. I tried to run the water and nothing happened. I tried to run the sink and nothing happened.
The next thing we knew, there was a man knocking on our door with a large water dispenser jug of water. He explained to us that because of all the rain, the water filtration system had flooded and was contaminated. This jug was our water for the forseeable future. This is not what you want to be told after playing tennis is 99 degree weather on your honeymoon.
We needed to use the water to bathe, brush our teeth, and even to flush the toilet. This was not going to be fun. We basically took sponge baths and then Mr. BBM assisted me with washing my hair. We didn’t want to waste too much water. We weren’t sure how much we would get or how long this would last!
We ended up needing that jug of water for just over 24 hours. We were never so happy to see running water when it was finally fixed. Of course, we could have just bathed outside in the rain because it rained pretty much non-stop.
Despite this, we tried to make the best of it. We ate lavish meals that we decided to stick to Sandals. We weren’t as bad as some of the other couples who were ordering bottles of Dom to stick it to Sandals even worse. We stayed at the Jalousie Hilton for four days and three nights.
It was on Wednesday of our week long honeymoon that Sandals sent a boat for us. It was faster to travel to the resort via the boat. Unfortunately, Sandals forgot to tell us and one other couple, and we missed the boat. We had to take a van to the other side of the island.
A driver came to pick us up and we drove up and down windy and terrifying roads. I have never had such horrible motion sickness. It was a scary drive I don’t wish to repeat. As we went through certain villages, the driver would instruct us to keep the doors locked, look straight ahead, etc. It was just plain awful.
When we finally arrived at Sandals St. Lucia, we were severely disappointed. The brochures had obviously been airbrushed extensively and the resort was buzzing the way a fraternity party would be, not a honeymooning resort. We were told we were given upgraded rooms, but they were directly above the DJ booth at the pool, which meant that the next morning we would be woken up to beer-chugging contests at 10 a.m. It wasn’t exactly the upgrade we were looking for.
Upon arrival we made an appointment to speak with the manager the next morning. We were livid about our treatment and wanted some answers and payment for all of the inconveniences.
That night, we ate dinner and then went dancing with our new friends from Boston. We had a pretty good time, but another set-back was just around the corner.
A few hours after arriving back at our room, I woke up alone in bed. There was no noise in the room and I had no idea where Mr. BBM had gone. I slowly crept around the room and found him in the bathroom. He was curled around the toilet, trying to keep cool on the tile floor. He had a fever and had apparently been sick with horrible food poisoning while I had been snoozing. He looked green.
Mr. BBM spent the night getting sick on and off, and was too weak to make it to Sandals "orientation" and our subsequent meeting with the manager. He told me to go. What else was I going to do? Sit there and watch him barf all day? So, I went to orientation alone and was immediately singled out because I was without my husband.
"Oh, your man had too much to drink last night, huh?" the obnoxious orientation leader asked me on his microphone in front of a crowd of about 30 couples. He was trying to embarrass me as he jutted the microphone out at me. I doubt he expected me to grab the microphone with such force.
"No, actually my husband is currently curled around the toilet not knowing which end of his body to put over the toilet because he got food poisoning shortly after eating at one of your crappy restaurants."
That shut him up.
I stormed across the resort to the manager’s office. The other forgotten couple and I sat there shooting visual daggers at the manager. His apology was not forthcoming and his only answer to our troubles was to offer us three free nights at the same crappy airbrushed resort, provided we pay for a total of seven nights and our own airfare. We all told him where he could stick that invitation and left. We obviously weren’t getting anywhere with him.
Our next visit was to the resort nurse, who gave Mr. BBM something that finally calmed his digestive tract down enough to function outside the bathroom. He spent all of Thursday and Friday feeling horrible, weak and still slightly nauseous.
On one of the evenings, we managed to get into the french restaurant on site. Most of the restaurants were booked solid since the people who had arrived earlier in the week booked up all the reservations. We were mostly stuck with the dregs.
We expected the french restaurant to be romantic and wonderful. It was anything but. Tables were stacked close enough that I had to watch my elbows when I ate. There was no privacy, no romance, only more disappointment and girls who appeared to be wearing prom gowns. It was like being stuck in a bad movie.
There were beer chugging contests at the break of dawn, dumpsters strewn about the property and the private beaches were anything but private. You had to be careful because there were people begging for money all over the beach. The beautiful hillside of the brochure was more like a mirage created by the artist who airbrushed it. It was anything but a relaxing honeymoon.
On our final day, we finally had a little bit of sun. I convinced Mr. BBM to take a kayak out into the Caribbean with me. He was still feeling sick. We rowed our kayak out into the sea. It was beautiful, but as we got out as far as we were comfortable going, the water got dark as did the clouds. And just like that, we were in the middle of a torrential downpour. We rowed back to shore, convinced that we had a big bad cloud following us everywhere we went.
When our plane touched down in our hometown, we were thrilled. I’ve never been so excited to go home. It was truly the honeymoon from hell.
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