Like Riding a Bicycle. . . but With Elbows
Sometimes I feel like my karate instructors can read my mind. After returning to karate after nearly a year and a half hiatus, I can't deny that there were some unpleasant thoughts going through my head.
What if I lost it all? What if I can't remember any of my self defense? How am I going to adjust and adapt how I do things considering I used to use my knees and legs for much of my self defense? There's nothing quite like a solid knee or punt of a kick to the groin when it comes to defending yourself against a guy. With that option not looking as good now, I wondered if I'd have to go back to scratch, and find new favorite techniques to use.
Last night, I found out that my alternative options work just fine. I officially have some new favorites and I think it's a positive thing to be forced to change things up. It's easy to rely on only the techniques that we favor, but when forced to think and work outside of the box, some new patterns emerge.
We worked on some pushing hands drills initially and although it felt really funny at first, I could see the point by the end of the exercise. After feeling each other out during the drill, we ramped things up and worked on finding ways to gain advantage and get in some good techniques.
Just as before, I found myself uttering "sorry" when things didn't go as I'd planned or hoped they would go. I'm also really good at scoffing at myself. My instructor kept gently reminding me to keep my mouth shut. I really need to work on replacing my apologies with a good kiai instead.
After working on this drill for a while, we worked on some other self defense. With my back turned to the three guys, I had to casually turn around as an attacker came from behind with whatever technique they felt like throwing. It reminded me of blindfolded self defense. It was uncomfortable and scary-butterflies in the stomach inducing too. The turning part alone gave me pause with my knee that doesn't want to believe it's capable of twisting and turning quite yet. I was also unsure how I would react and whether or not my self defense techniques would surface without me having to consciously draw them back out of hiding.
It's always a concern. Will those moves be there when you need them? Will you react the way you've been trained, even if you haven't practiced in a while?
We ran through several rounds and despite the one time that my instructor threw a punch and I threw up a messy block and strike which was more like me punching his punch (dies of embarrassment), I felt I held my own. Even when I clearly felt I had messed up, my instructor countered with, "Well did you get hit?" I had not.
I found out my new tendencies are to go for the throat and that I also really like to throw elbows-a good thing when you have pointy ones like mine.
I'm finding that coming back to karate after all this time off is much like riding a bicycle. I might be a little shaky at first; but the skill is definitely there, even if it's a little dusty from all the time hanging out in the "garage."
Why a Kid Needs to Learn to Fail Successfully
Filed under: Admired Martial Artists Month, Guest Post, Tales from the dojo
By: Ann-Marie K. Heilman, Kyoshi
Okinawa Kenpo Karate Kobudo
Heilman Karate Academy, Inc.
In talking to a parent recently about his daughter’s review for belt ranking, I was surprised that he accepted my explanation that she could not test because she did not have all the material necessary to do so. Why was I surprised? Because no matter how many times I say “review," an adult will argue that a child’s “self esteem” will be diminished if they don’t succeed at every task placed in front of them including minor ones.
In the ensuing conversation we both agreed that she had heard me say that it was only a review to check her progress. Being a coach himself, he understood the importance of high standards. However, we both agreed that somewhere things had gone wrong in coaching and that everyone was expected to “play." Not only that, but everyone was expected to “win."
I am looking at a far greater picture here and it involves both my profession as a Board Certified Behavior Analyst (you know, behavior charts, stickers for good behavior, blah, blah, blah), and my belief that a dojo cannot award mediocrity because your life may depend on what I teach you.
I am in favor of positive reinforcement. I am also in favor of failure. Why? Because I don’t think people know how to fail correctly. Failure used to mean that you worked harder to succeed at the task so that you never had that feeling again. Parents supported you through the failure and coached you to “try again” and again and again until you either succeeded or switched gears and did something else. Once again, you accepted “failure” (maybe you switched from basketball to baseball) and moved on but no one worried that your “self esteem” was damaged forever. I won’t get into that “self esteem” stuff right now. I just want to point out that I see a dangerous road here and many dojo owners are following that road without questioning why they are doing it.
For years we have been positively reinforcing good behavior, good deeds, good something and somehow, some way, we have bought into the “lets reward them for breathing because, if we don’t, their 'self esteem' will be fractured and their lives will come crashing down around them and all is lost" (and it’s the teacher’s or the parent’s fault because they didn’t teach well enough). Let me say that I don’t buy into this baloney although I once did. I have experienced enough of life to now say unequivocally that it isn’t success from which I have learned the most – it was failing and sometimes miserable (the misery was all mine until I fixed “it”, whatever needed to be redone or relearned).
What does this have to do with a dojo? As I stated, your life may, literally, depend on what I teach you. And a child who may have to resist a possible abductor may need every GOOD technique taught them, not a sticker for “trying hard."
I am deeply concerned about “our” kids today. Where are the high standards of yore when you worked and worked at a goal until you succeeded? Parents encouraged you but did not fight with the teacher (or sensei) that “but my child tried so hard!” Again, I repeat myself, what is wrong with working towards a goal until you actually succeed?
I am now seeing young adults who are literally crushed by defeat. They can’t get off their duffs and start looking for work after losing a job because they have never experienced “losing.” They don’t know how to pick themselves up, go to Plan B, or C, and go forward because all their lives they have been allowed to NOT fail; someone has pleaded their case and argued that their “self esteem” will be diminished and their lives on hold until they succeed at the task (usually instant promotion or instant “A” as in grading a paper).
Again, what has this to do with a dojo? Because the father I was speaking to regarding his daughter’s review knew that she wasn’t going to get her belt that day – there were some things that she needed to work on – and despite her complaints that she “did the best she could,” it was still not good enough. And that is why I like to call such activities “reviews.” Even the word “test” seems to have lost its meaning. Every time you are put “to the test,” are you really expecting to pass? Only if you have done the work that qualifies you to pass, I hope. You won’t get a “sticker” if your self-defense works for you on the street. You get to keep your life. If I have allowed you or your child to get belt after belt because you showed up for class and paid your dues and not because you learned the material and excelled at it, then shame on me. And if you failed a test, did you find out what you did wrong and pass with flying colors the next time you tested? Or did you quit saying the test, or the teacher/sensei was “unfair? Life is unfair. We need to teach how to go past failure and succeed.
And there ends my rant for today after opening the can of worms known as positive reinforcement for breathing or “how do I keep them in the dojo so that I can pay my bills?" If I have to keep a kid’s (or adult’s) self-esteem at a high level and not allow them to fail and promote them at every turn for techniques that are sloppy, inadequate, and downright poor – then the doors to the dojo will have to close.
For more about Kyoshi Heilman, please go here.
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Our Family Is Becoming MMA
On Monday night, Big I and the rest of our family went to watch a Danzan Ryu Jujitsu class to see if she might be interested in taking some classes. I have taken a seminar or two during annual trainings in the past and it was always really cool stuff. There are plenty of moves to learn, but no kata. Interested doesn't even begin to describe how into it Big I was while watching, and even after we came home.
As she watched the two students and instructor demonstrating the things that she would learn, she sat quietly. I heard an occasional "wow, that was cool." The instructor is starting a children's program in a couple of weeks and it looks like Big I is going to be one of his first child students. Because I stayed for karate class later in the night, I didn't get to really ask her about her interest level, but I had a feeling she was hooked.
My suspicion was confirmed yesterday as she asked Mr. BBM if she could try out a couple of the moves she learned on Monday night. He grabbed her arm and she made him take a seat on the ground in mere seconds. She's definitely excited about starting jujitsu, and I am thrilled she's staying with the martial arts in one form or another.
On Monday night, after watching jujitsu for a while, I went upstairs to karate class. There were only four of us and we worked on bo kata and bunkai. There's nothing quite like bunkai to realize how many cobwebs have grown in the karate portion of your brain. Lacking practice and polish, I hit Ikigai on the ankle with my bo twice. I said "sorry" too. Here's hoping that push-ups for sorry's isn't instituted anytime soon.
When class was finished, I asked the very forgiving Ikigai to help me get Chounokun back in my head. It took a good 20-30 minutes, but I left the dojo reaquainted with the kata enough to be able to come home and get through it on my own.
I've decided that I'm going to run through all the kata I know well every day. I'm avoiding the ones where parts have gone missing. I don't want to practice and repractice it the wrong way. If I keep doing that, then hopefully the cobwebs will clear a little faster.
Through it all, my knee has been holding up great. I'm wearing my brace and that has provided a little extra support of the mental and physical variety. The most uncomfortable thing so far has been the rei at the beginning of each kata, class, etc. I just don't have the same extension I have with the other leg. Without even realizing it, I tend to try to make the legs match and my left knee always protests with a big enough shot of pain to remind me to knock it off.
I can't tell you though, how nice it is to replace knee bruising with some bo bruising on the arms. I didn't think it was possible to be happy about the bo bruising, but this is one girl happy to have some bo bruising back in her life. It's about time.
Don't forget to leave a comment over at The BBM Review for your chance to win one of three Spa Break baskets.
Also, leave a comment on any of the Admired Martial Artists' posts and you'll be entered to win one of several great MA prizes.
Trial by Fire-Back in the Dojo Baby
I decided to take my first night back slowly. I figured I'd skip the early class, roll in a little early for the second class, stretch, and then ease my way back into the dojo with a one hour work-out. I came out of the locker room gi'd up and ready to go. As I climbed the stairs, a karate Mom and friend of mine started cheering for me. The Shodan teaching the kids class downstairs began singing, "We are the Champions." It was a overkill, just a bit, but it sure felt nice.
I made my way upstairs and stretched in the waiting area while I watched the first class wrap up.
People were taking turns doing individual bo kata. I willed myself to be invisible in the waiting area. After a 17 month break, it's not all in there right now, at least not in an area easily tapped. I knew Hanshi wouldn't make me, but still. Invisible I was, just in case.
The beginner class wrapped up and Hanshi came over, shook my hand, and gave me a hug. The advanced class was starting. Instead of the traditional kneeling rei in, Hanshi announced that we would be standing as he nodded in my direction. The class was loaded with black belts and two other brown belts. I was the only girl. A nice and easy start back, or not.
Hanshi told everyone to get a pair of kama. Kama? Kama.
I've worked with the kama maybe twice, once in class a long time ago and once at a training camp. They are super cool to work with, but I was kind of hoping for some non-black belt stuff on my first night back. Hanshi was sure to give me a pair of wooden kama and we got started.
The stances felt fine. I don't know that I had them all as they should be because I was too busy trying not to stab myself, but cat stance felt decent. Nai hanshi stance was mostly ok, and even kosa dachi felt ok. The worst position knee-wise was actually the rei at the beginning of each kata. I thought I had stretched my leg out enough, but I definitely need to keep working on my flexibility in that leg.
At one point in the kama kata, there's a jump. Hanshi looked right at me and said, "no jumping." I told him not to worry, but when we got to that part I thought I'd try a little hop to see what happened. It went fine, so the next jump I went a bit higher (I'm talking about two inches total here people so don't get too excited).
When we were finished with kama, we moved onto tekkos (think old school brass knuckles). I made it through the kata, and even made it through a couple kicks. I may not have had all the moves down but the basic aspects of the kata felt good.
When class was over, we did the final rei out (standing again-Thank you Hanshi!) and Hanshi made a special point of welcoming me back. All the guys clapped and smiled. It was a very nice welcome back.
The best thing about tonight? I didn't think about my knee the whole time like I did the last time I tried to make my comeback. I was concentrating on the new moves I was learning and feeling so fantastic to be back that I wouldn't allow the uncertainty of my knee situation to come onto the dojo floor with me. Plus when you're trying not to impale yourself with kama, you tend to think more about your arms and hands than your bum knee.
It may have been a long wait to get back, but it seems to have done me well mentally. I think I'm much more prepared this time, than I was the last time I tried to come back.
As I write this tonight, my knee is feeling good. We'll see how it feels tomorrow, but I think this comeback is going to stick. It feels SO incredibly good to be back.
Finally. . .
Admired Martial Artists month just got even more exciting! There are now several cool giveaways. All you need to do to be entered to win is leave a comment on one of the Admired Martial Artist posts. The more comments you leave, the more chances you have to win. Check out the main AMA page for details on the prizes, and check back often. More prizes may be added in the days to come!
We also have a cool non-martial arts giveaway coming up on The BBM Review in just a few days. Think spa people. Oh yeah!
A Little Motivation
When I bought my first set of sai a couple years ago, I got them from a catalog figuring all sai were the same. I quickly learned, while trying to do various kata and bunkai, that all sai are not the same. My sai didn't have a flat place to place your thumb. They small prongs/spikes/whatever you call them were the wrong angle which made gripping an incoming bo next to impossible. And, when you hold the sai, the longest blade should rest against the gap between your thumb and forefinger, but the weight was off on mine and the sai naturally moved so that the weight was placed closer to the smaller blades instead. It made doing kata tricky and I swore I'd find a way to make them better.
One of my fellow karate-ka made his own weapons and was good with both metal-working and wood-working. So, I asked him if he'd take a look at my sai for me. He spent a week working on them and they were better, still not great, but better.
When I tried to return to karate a few weeks ago, I left my weapons bag at home. I had to borrow a pair of Hanshi's sai. They are Shureido sai and they are sweet. I couldn't believe how much easier it was to use them. I couldn't believe how good they felt in my hands. I told Hanshi I wanted a pair. At their price though, it was going to have to count as Christmas and birthday presents. I figured it would take a long time to get them too. There's a waiting list apparently.
Last night, Hanshi handed me a brand new pair of Shuriedo sai. Their handles are wrapped beautifully. They are the perfect length for my arms and the grip is phenomenal. Although the price is a bit steep, I'm able to subtract it from the credit I'm owed from being on hiatus all this time.
If ever there was a motivating factor to return. . .
Now I just need my other friend to make me a cool bag for them.
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