A Blow to the Action Plans
If you've been a reader here for a while, you know I suffer from delusions action plans. Many of my action plans involve running quite rapidly, out of burning buildings, away from bad guys, in order to rescue my children, etc. Here's the problem.
I still can't run.
I read all these blogs of people who've had ACL surgery and they're out there running miles. I don't get this at all. I simply can't run. My knee feels funny when I try and to be perfectly honest, I think I forget how.
Yesterday at the gym, I turned up the speed on the treadmill and tried to run. I probably looked like a complete idiot. At this point, almost a year out from surgery, one would think I'd be able to run. I'm not sure if it's mental or physical at this point, but I do know that it doesn't feel right at all. I truly don't know how to do it anymore.
One thing I do know, almost a year out from surgery, I'm still having way too much pain, discomfort and annoyances. When will this go away?
It’s All About the Money
I went to the gym today to meet with the trainer who seemed so willing to help me. I found him, and he told me to hop on a treadmill while he talked to me. He talked to me about the importance of stretching, strength training, flexibility, and exercises to work on balance. I was polite but I felt like telling him he was preaching to the choir. You don't remain oblivous to these things when you're an ACL statistic.
When he was finished telling me what I already know, he launched into his sales pitch. Been there, done that. He told me when I was ready to sign a contract, he'd be happy to help me. So much for that.
I spent an hour doing my arms work-out before heading out. If it wasn't for a ridiculous initiation fee to get into the program, I might actually consider it. Until they agree to waive it though, I'm not interested in giving them all my hard-earned money. I already paid to join the gym. A friend recommended another trainer who charges a lot less and I'm going to give her a call to see what she has to say.
I feel like writing to the owners of the gym to tell them their approach is shady and a big turn-off. I feel like not signing up for a contract just for spite. You shouldn't tell someone you want to show them an exercise that will help and then hang it over their heads until they sign a long contract. Plus, the sales pitch guys with all the so-called experience just turn you over to a less-experienced trainer for your actual work-outs.
Plus, I'm sure I can find some exercises on my own that will help my knee. That's what google is for people; and google is free.
Back Off
I was seriously trying to talk myself out of going to the gym today. I kept making excuses. Then I talked to Mr. BBM. He told me I should just go. It's going to be uncomfortable working out there until I get used to it and there's only one way to get used to it. Drag my butt there; just go.
Part of why I didn't want to go is because after two sessions with a personal trainer, I was getting the hard sell, and they were trying to convince me that I needed to pay a fortune to work out with a trainer on a regular basis. As much as I'd like to do that, we just bought a house. I don't have money growing on trees. In fact, I have no trees. Hell, I barely have grass as this point.
Today was the first day I had to see the trainer since I didn't call him back. Of course, he was right there as I walked in. I told him money is tight and I'm waiting to see how much of a credit I have at karate from my year on hiatus until I make any decisions. He shrugged it off and said he was there if I needed his help.
So, I got right to it. Today was legs and I spent time working on PT like things and also doing some weight lifting to build up the muscles in my legs. I had spent about 40 minutes working my legs and abs and then walked on an incline for 20 minutes on the treadmill.
When I was finished, I saw my trainer and thought I'd ask him if he could help me hook up some kind of weight lifting harness so that I could do some exercises that my physical therapist taught me. He and about three other trainers started scratching their heads. No one had a harness. They just had these stretchy bands. It wasn't working. At one point, there was one band wrapped around my waist, another wrapped around me being held tight by a trainer behind me and a whole mess of trainers watching.
The one trainer, who always seems a little sour asked me why I wanted to do that exercise. I told him it had really helped me get my leg stronger when I was going to PT. He asked me what I had done and when I told him I had surgery for my ACL in December, he started getting on my case. "You should be doing deep squats by now on that knee. You're babying that knee too much." He wouldn't shut up. He had some company.
Since I always take the high road, I fired back, "How many trainers does it take to hook up one harness?" I told him that my surgeon doesn't want me doing deep knee bends and that I had an overuse injury. I'm anything but a slacker when it comes to getting my leg back in shape. I resented his little comment that quickly began to feel like a public stoning. Here were a bunch of guys with leg muscles the size of my whole body, telling me and my stingbean leg that my PT doesn't know anything, and they want me to sign a long-term contract so I can take this kind of abuse weekly?
At one point, the out of line trainer asked me how I had hurt my knee. "At karate while sparring," I said. The trainer I had worked out with last week shot the guy a look that told him I'd probably be more than happy to snap kick his head off. He would have been right.
During the debate, one of the trainers disappeared and came back with his own personal weight lifting harness. He handed it to me. "Try this," he said. It worked perfectly. He began asking me about my injury and what types of exercises I was doing. He told me that he's a trainer who trains athletes, many who've had ACL reconstruction. He was rattling off statistics and talking about the differences between women and men and why this happens to women more often. He told me he could teach me some exercises that would really help strengthen my leg to prevent it from ever happening again.
Unfortunately, the KidZone was closing and I had to go grab Lil C. When I was putting her shoes on, I realized he had followed me. He told me he'd be happy to show me some exercises later this week, so I made an appointment with him. It's free. I'm just hoping I don't have to endure 30 minutes of post work-out pressure to sign a contract again.
Enter Pain
I had a personal training session today at my new gym. I expected to be tortured, and I was tortured sufficiently. My legs have felt like rubber for much of the day, and I can pretty much guarantee that tomorrow morning is going to suck, even though my Mom hates that word. There's just no better word for how it's going to feel to try to make these legs work tomorrow.
My trainer had ACL reconstruction surgery himself, so he has been in my shoes. We spent 30 minutes talking about my goals: to not be in pain anymore, to feel normal again, to be able to return to karate and return strong, etc. etc. After our talk, we got right to work.
My trainer had me do some interesting things that I think are really going to help me. I held weights and used a step to do toe touches. I balanced on some impossibly wiggly ball thing on one leg. I sat in mid-air while leaning my back against a wall long enough to make my legs burn. I did squats with my back pressed against one of those giant exercise balls that was up against a wall. I did some crazy calf exercises while balancing on some round wobbly thing. I also did some leg extensions on a machine that allowed me to use different weights for each leg. After working on extensions, he had me flutter kick on the machine slowly. That was killer, but everything he had me do made complete sense. My leg muscles burned; but my knee only protested a bit.
During the wall sit/squat thing, my legs started to shake so badly that I told him I didn't know if I'd be able to get back up, so he offered me an arm and helped me each time. Otherwise I think I would have been stuck! I asked him if he'd provide the same service for me tomorrow morning when I'm struggling to get out of bed. He laughed. I think personal trainers enjoy torturing people sometimes.
After working my legs like crazy, we moved on to abs. Yes, I'd like to get my knee back to normal, but I'd also like to get back my pre-kid abs. I really wish I hadn't told him that though. He had me work my abs like never before. I felt like a total slacker and told him I was embarrased. It freaking hurt and tomorrow I'll probably have to roll out of bed.
After a good hour of working out, we sat down to talk. I felt pretty good and my knee had only protested a little bit. It was nice to have his help because he let me know exactly how I should be doing each exercise so as not to aggravate my knee.
He tried to talk me into a training contract with him. It is insanely expensive and I just don't think I can afford it right now. I whined about buying a new house and still paying off my surgery almost a year later, so he threw in another free session for later this week.
During the inbetween days, I'm going to hit the pool, strap on some leg weights and do some underwater walking and running. I have to get this leg back in shape. I have too much I want to do in my life to have this knee issue hinder me anymore.
Take the Fight to the Gym
My physical therapist says I need more time off from karate. My knee says so too. I just didn’t want to listen to it.
Almost a week after class, I still have pain, swelling and bruising. Imagine taking purple and blue markers and leaving little dots all around my largest incision scar area. That’s pretty much what I look like. I’m also super sensitive on the top of my tibia.
Along with warning me to listen to my knee and take a break, my PT encouraged me to get back to the gym. I went in search of a gym membership and I think I’m joining one tomorrow. Despite the fact that it feels sort of like a night club and less like a gym, I’m joining for the pool and because a dear friend of mine also belongs there. I won’t feel nearly as stupid, walking laps in the pool if I’m walking along with her.
I went in today for an initial tour. The sales guy was this beefcake of a dude who sized me up before saying, "So where have you been working out? Because you obviously work out." I laughed out loud. "Yeah, it’s called carrying around a three-year old." He then introduced me to a trainer who will set me up with a work out plan. He had surgery for a torn ACL and meniscus, so we instantly bonded and compared scars. His may be bigger, but mine is way uglier.
Then he started asking me questions about my height and weight. He guessed higher on my weight than what I actually am, but lower on my age by a good seven years so I forgave him. Then, he hands me the little machine which happens to be a body fat calculator. I really wasn’t in the mood to deal with my body fat percentage so I cringed and told him if it was bad, I was tossing it in the pool before he got a look at it.
It came back at 21.6%. That is so not at all bad. So, as far as that goes, I’m inbetween the good and excellent. I have 1.6% to go to be completely in "excellent." I was expecting to be about 50% fat so I was elated.
Then I got the tour. He showed me the "trainer area" where there were a bunch of young ripped guys standing around looking bored. He showed me the equipment. While getting the tour, I took careful inventory and besides the trainer, there wasn’t anyone there that looked too intimidating. The pool was really sweet, and I imagine I’ll be spending most of my gym time there in the beginning. The low impact water aerobics and the weights that you can use while walking or swimming laps will definitely come in handy.
Unlike previous gyms I’ve toured which sound like headbanger concerts, today’s gym was playing Nelly and other hip hop and rap music. I asked the sales guy if the old people complain and he nodded that they do. Personally, I’m psyched about the music choices.
And, when I’m feeling up to it, there’s a work-out room with five heavy bags hanging in the room. I need to fight my way back to karate and the fight now goes to the gym.
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