August 12, 2009

754 Reasons To Hate Your Inbox

754.

The number of antihistamines I'm currently taking? Not quite.

The number of times I've told the girls to stop fighting? Close.

The number of times I've hit Mr. BBM with a knife hand and told him to roll over and stop snoring? Actually I believe this number is nearly 1000, so no.

754 is the number of spam emails I had this morning in my recruiting email inbox. Are you kidding me?

Here's what I don't get. How do these people make any money? Who does this for a living? Is their primary goal in life to waste people's time?

This morning I had emails saying I needed to update my bank accounts at three different banks where I don't even have accounts. Nice try schmucks.

I also had emails telling me I can improve my performance in bed and "rock her all night." Um, no thanks. People who have girl names generally don't need drugs to harden certain appendages and I'm definitely not looking to rock any "her."

Maybe it's the Allegra in me that's making me particularly cranky today, but I am so sick of this spam crap. And for the last time, I don't have any relatives who left me lottery winnings in Nigeria. Not buying it.

Today I have more important things to do than delete spam. I need to psych Lil C up to get a very much needed haircut. I need to quit procrastinating and finish my syllabus for my class that starts in just two weeks. I need to open my jaw really wide every five minutes or so to reestablish hearing capabilities in my left ear.

Take your penis products elsewhere people. Not interested.