June 28, 2009

Legit

Euphoric.

That's how it feels to have testing finally over with.

I arrived at the dojo Friday morning for a full day of training and I practiced deep breathing on the way there. I felt confident and calm but I knew it wouldn't last. I did a session with Kyoshi Jody Paul, who I met for the very first time this weekend. It was super cool. We worked on applications of the kata Seisan and it was really fun and interesting.

Next I did a mandatory-for-those-testing session on open hand kata. Hanshi and Kyoshi H led this session and it was the last chance to run through open hand and work out any kinks. At one point, a 7th degree black belt, one of the Kyoshi's who sits on the judging board and decides whether or not you get the black belt, was standing nearby watching me intently. He was not making a good face.

When I was finished with the kata, he made that face again and asked me, "Are you planning on doing the kata like that tonight?" with an absolutely disgusted face and tone.

I smiled and laughed a little and directed my attention back up front. This was obviously the head games I had heard so much about. I wasn't going to let it bother me.

Kyoshi B came out on the floor and started joking around with me a bit. Then he told me he could be bribed with a case of beer.

Sweet. I took a mental note.

I spent the rest of the afternoon doing various kobudo weapons session and trying to stay calm. I came home for about an hour and then headed back to the dojo. I wanted to get there early. I had a cold case of beer to deliver after all.

I drove through a downpour and thought it was a bad sign. Then, as I was pulling off the exit for the dojo, a beautiful rainbow appeared above the exit. I took that as a good sign. A few seconds later it started to hail and I told myself it was silly to read into the weather.

I dropped the cooler bag off by Kyoshi B's own cooler and got ready for testing. When Kyoshi B came upstairs I told him I had a little surprise for him downstairs. He went downstairs, came back up a few minutes later, walked across the floor and hugged me. It was a Sam Adams variety pack. I don't mess around with my bribes.

Kyoshi B began telling everyone that I could do no wrong and that I had already passed. It was pretty awesome. I was especially glad I had brought him the beer, when during a tunfa kata, I dropped my one tunfa. My hands were so sweaty and I didn't have my grip right because of it. I bumped my body with the tunfa and down it went. Holy freaking nightmare of all nightmares!

I picked it up in a split second, jumped right back into the kata and hoped no one saw anything. Since I was in the front, I knew this was wishful thinking. I also know, however, that they look at how you act when you screw up. Do you get flustered, lose your focus, or get back in the game? I got back in the game and tried to put the screw-up out of my head.

I was shaky and nervous despite the fact that my head was telling me to be calm. I made it through all of my kobudo kata (three bo, two tunfa, two sai, and one nunchaku) and was getting my head ready for individual kata when they told us we were going to do bunkai.

This is when the tide turned for me. I got out there, took a deep breath, looked at my partner and knew it was time to show what I could do with Choun No Kun. And I did it.

At one point during the bunkai when I go down on one knee and strike my partner's knee with the bo, I heard Kyoshi H say "I like that." I knew things were going well at that point.

Despite the fact that I avoided any and all eye contact with the Renshi-Kai during all the previous kata, after my bunkai I looked at them. The temptation to see their reaction was too great. My teacher's seemed pleased with me and nodded approvingly. The whole dojo clapped and I walked backwards on an absolute high.

We got a five minute break between kobudo and open hand and I ran to the bathroom as fast as I could. I had been drinking a LOT of water during the breaks between kata as the people testing for higher ranks went up. While downstairs, Kyoshi H came into the bathroom and said what an awesome job people were doing. She told me I was doing well. I came back upstairs and Hanshi smacked me good on the arm and said, "Good Job!" and I felt such amazing relief. Despite the fact that I practically threw my one tunfa at the judging board, I was still in the game.

Several people who were watching offered words of encouragement and some "good job's" as well and I felt ready for open hand.

Open hand kata went fast and furious. We FLEW through the katas and at the end of each one, the Renshi Kai would look at each other, nod a bit, and we'd move on. EVERYONE was doing very well. We had a great group up there testing.

Then it was on to bunkai for open hand. I did Pinan Yondan. I did the first moves just fine and then worm-holed into the third sequence without doing the kick. Yikes! So the dilemma was to either continue on and forget the kicking business or do it and then move on. I chose to do it. When it was over, my partner said he hadn't even realized I messed up. Here's hoping no one else did either. I just sort of rearranged things a bit; that's all.

When it was over and we were doing the final rei out, I felt such accomplishment. I hadn't been perfect, but I'd done well and I certainly showed that I wasn't going to get all frazzled when I messed up. I was so proud of my training friends too, who had kicked butt out there. We all had.

One of the women Renshi came up to me after testing and told me I had done a good job. She said I had good focus and that I seemed relaxed. She told me that sometimes, when I get really focused, I tend to look down and keep my gaze down. She told me to work on that and I said I would. She also added that she was being really picky and that I had done well. Afterwards I thought about it and realized that I had been making really good eye contact with Hanshi's coffee that was sitting on the floor at one point. She was definitely right.

After changing, we were asked to have a beer with the Kyoshi I "bribed." It was the best tasting beer I think I've ever had. Then I met my training friends at Applebee's and we celebrated with appetizers and drinks.

Oh What A NIGHT!

Yesterday was my last official day as a brown belt. I spent it doing Goju Ryu drills with an amazing woman. I have rainbow colored arms today. I also spent time with Kyoshi Hayes doing application drills and Kyoshi Jody Paul doing tai sabaki.

Last night was the banquet and there was no better feeling than having my name called to go up front and get my certificates, black belt, and kobudo patch. You see, it's not just one black belt. It's two.

That's right.

1st Dan Okinawan Kenpo Karate

1st Dan Okinawan Kenpo Kobudo

That, my friends, would be me.

I stood there after accepting my certificates and belt and grinned ear to ear. I thought about my crutches, now residing in the basement, with "Nintai" (Persevere) written down the sides of them. I thought about my many months of physical therapy where all I wanted to do was be able to walk without a limp. I thought about my physical therapist who helped me get through so many rough days. I thought about my karate training friends who kept me in the loop, the ones who ultimately got me back in the dojo because I couldn't imagine not training with them. I thought about my trainer who pushed me and encouraged me and made me physically and mentally strong. I thought about my teachers who've pushed me, while always being understanding about my knee and its limitations. I thought about my friends who've been cheering me on from near and far; and my family who has been so understanding of my very long training hours and absence at home.

And I also thought to myself. . .

Black Belt Mama. . . My blog is now officially legit.

Black Belt Mama is indeed a black belt.

***A very special thank you to Donna of Crzegurl Design. Love you!