May 7, 2009

Just Call Me a Psycho Serial Killer

Today was my last class of the semester. I'm on break until the fall (after I finish all my grading of course). This semester was quite different from last semester. The class had very different group dynamics and I had issues with kids who lacked personal responsibility. Not every student had these issues, but overall, it was a big change from my class last semester. My first semester was not at all like that.

For the final class, both last semester and this semester, I brought in donut holes and we had a final day of fun impromptu speeches. Last semester, my students turned almost every impromptu topic around into something positive about how much they had enjoyed speech class or how much they had enjoyed having me as a teacher. They already knew where they stood grade-wise. It wasn't to kiss up. They liked me and the class and they let me know it. It was a great way to end the semester.

Today was a bit different. First, I had the students complete their evaluations of me. I have to leave the room during this time and I gave explicit instructions to my one student to collect them all and then come out into the hallway when they were all finished to get me. After 10 minutes had gone by, the volume was quickly rising from my classroom. It's not a group evaluation so talking is not required for them to complete the task.

Then I heard, "Well that's because you're a man-whore." That was it.

I opened the door, did a quick look around, asked them if they were finished and they all nodded that they were done and that my volunteer had the envelope of evaluations ready to go. Yet no one had come to get me. I got on their cases a bit, and told them I hoped the word "man-whore" wasn't a part of my evaluations, and then I broke out the donuts.

The students were tentative, so I pretty much ordered them to get out of their seats, and get some donuts so we could get started. I was sporting my classic look of irritation and frustration. We had a lot to finish up on our final day and the clock was ticking. Finally, they started moving.

I had each student write down two impromptu speech questions and then as the students got up to perform for one last time, they called on a student to give them a question. One of the questions was, "Why do you think Mrs. BBM is acting like a psycho serial killer today?" This question came from one of my responsible kids.

I asked him what he meant by that and he said that I was trying to make them eat donuts. . . "like a serial killer or something."

"Hmm, you know last semester, I brought in donuts and my students thanked me and told me I was awesome. This semester, I'm a psycho serial killer trying to kill you with my donut holes. I guess this is an appropriate way to end it all."

So, one of my most spirited students got the speech topic declaring me a serial killer and he did it quite well. I was almost convinced myself. As part of his speech, he said I had taught them through subliminal messages to go kill people and that I had spent time in jail for 30 murders.

When he was finished, I told him he did a fairly accurate speech, but that my murders were justified. You see, I had only killed people who didn't turn assignments in on time. I think I made my point.

As I was leaving campus today, I ran into one of my favorite kids from last semester. I asked him how his semester had gone and he said it was great, but that he wished he would have been able to take my class again. He then went on to tell me how he had to do a presentation for another class and he absolutely "killed it" and was the best one in the class. His professor had asked him where he learned to put a presentation together like that, and he said he learned it from me and my class. He then went on to tell me about his presentation and how he had attention and orienting material, how he used a personal anecdote, and a solid clincher in his conclusion.

It made me so proud to hear him say those things. I told him I was happy he was able to apply what he learned to other classes; and he went on to say that he'll use what I taught him the rest of his life.

There may be 17 completed potentially mediocre evaluations sitting on campus, critiquing me for not accepting late assignments, and for occasionally ranting about irresponsibility; but only one thing is important to me today. I taught that student how to "kill it" in his presentation. I guess I really do teach them how to kill.