March 18, 2009

When Life Hands You Lemons

There is no denying that tearing my ACL was a horrible experience. . . initially. Crutches and braces for months at a time sucked. Living through the initial pain of the surgery and then finding out another surgery was necessary was just plain hell.

But if I consider the ACL tear pain and challenges a giant lemon in my life, I'd have to also admit that I have tried to make lemonade, given the circumstances.

I've never been one to give up easily, but sometimes, throughout the past 17 months, I even surprised myself. Sure I had my weepy moments where I felt sorry for myself. I can't deny that. I went through a stage where I needed to surround myself with all things martial arts. I read books, crutched my way up the dojo stairs to watch classes, and spent hours visualizing my kata so that I wouldn't slip behind and forget.

And then I had a period where the last thing I wanted to be around was martial arts. I asked Mr. BBM to take Big I to karate classes. I went through a period where it was too difficult for me mentally, to be there, watching the others enjoy the karate classes I knew I'd be missing for a long time. I stopped reading martial arts blogs for quite some time too. I couldn't take it. As happy as I was for my blogger friends and their promotions, etc., I couldn't bring myself to visit with any regularity. Commenting without sounding like I was feeling sorry for myself wasn't possible, so I stopped commenting. They stopped coming here too; and I hope they know that it wasn't anything personal. It was just a bad mental spot where I lingered for a while.

Then I started to feel better. It wasn't great. I dealt with over a year of pain until I went back for the second surgery; but I found encouragement through my physical therapist who has become a friend. I had some extraordinary friends who kept me positive and were always asking me how I was doing, some physically half a world away. I had great help from my family. I found courage through my personal trainer who went through the same surgery and completely knew how I was feeling and what I needed to do. I've never been a gym person, but I pushed myself to get there and work harder. I never would have joined the gym and worked so hard if it hadn't been an absolute necessity. I would have made excuses about the cost, the time issue, and anything else that I could have mustered. Instead, my health and fitness has become a top priority and I'm better off for it. I'm probably in the best shape of my life. Without the ACL tear, that never would have happened.

I can finally say that I feel like I am coming out the other side of a long dark tunnel. My knee is feeling fantastic. It's obvious I'm getting stronger and my left leg is finally catching up with my right.

That's why this award, the "When Life Hands You Lemons" award from Marguerite, means an awful lot to me. Thank you Marguerite!!!

As with any blog award, there are some rules.

Post the logo on your blog.
Nominate blogs that show great attitude or gratitude
Link to the nominees within your blog post.
Notify the recipients of the award by commenting on their blog.
Share the love and link back to the person from whom you received your award.

So now it's my turn to nominate some people who know how to make lemonade when life has dealt them some seriously sour lemons. I have two people in mind.

The first award goes to Renovation Girl. After dealing with an upsetting miscarriage only months ago, last week Renovation Girl launched "Find Your Happiness Friday" on her blog. In her situation, I'd have trouble finding happiness anywhere, yet she has and is encouraging her readers to do so too. She's a lemonade master.

The second recipient of this award goes to my ACL buddy Hackshaft. He had ACL reconstruction surgery only a few weeks after I had mine and he totally beat me back to the dojo. Then, only months later, he tore the ACL in his other leg. Yet the man has been nothing but positive. I have already told my husband that if I tear mine again, he will have to restrain me from jumping off a cliff. Hackshaft, on the other hand, reasoned that he got through it once-he would do it again. And I swear that within minutes of him leaving the hospital, he had a counter back on his blog for when he can return to the dojo. Talk about making lemonade out of not one, but two lemons.

Thank you again to Marguerite. You truly made my day! Hackshaft and Renovation Girl, I hope I've made yours too!

For additional reading, you might want to check this out. It's a list of the Top 50 Self Defense Blogs out there with a nice little description about each one. I happen to be on it. Cool.

Tonight I'm the guest on Karl's Talk Radio show at Talk Shoe. The time is 10 P.M. EST. If you're planning on listening in, go and register with Talk Shoe now so you can participate in the chat, ask questions via the chat or even call in! Hope to see you there!