May 16, 2008
How It Works (Or Rather, How it DOESN’T)
Step 1. Sellers price their home "right" and put the sign in the yard.
Step 2. First potential buyers come and they "love it.
Step 3. Potential buyers come back for a second time and are "thinking of writing it up."
Step 4. Potential buyers disappear for two months. Perhaps they are super hero’s? Maybe hiberating? Trapped in a cave somewhere? Drove off a bridge? Stuck in a time warp?
Step 5. Home sellers spend a bunch of money upgrading things around the house: kitchen floor, most of carpet in house, etc. etc.
Step 6. Buyers come for third showing, stay for an hour, eat cookies, take pictures.
Step 7. Buyers disappear for almost two weeks. Perhaps their super powers were required somewhere else? Maybe a ground hog told them to go back to sleep for a bit longer?
Step 8. Buyers make low-ball, sucktastic offer that isn’t even in the realm of possibility, based not on comps (because it would be silly to base an offer on reality), but rather on the fact that they "want a counter-offer."
Step 9. Sellers’ realtor initially tells buyers they are way off base, but then makes a suggestion that sellers follow. Sellers give reasonable counter-offer to show "good faith" and that they want to work something out despite the fact that the offer buyers put forth does not show they are serious (and in fact shows they are dumb and perhaps blind).
Step 10. Buyers think about it for two days and then decide that their response is this: they don’t want to come back with anything at this time BUT they still want to keep the lines of communication open (in other words, if sellers are interested in GIVING away their beautiful home, they’re game and will certainly take it).
Step 11. Seller (aka BBM) tells realtor to take buyers offer, check and envelope and give it back to their agent. How’s that for a little "communication"? Good riddance.
Correct me if I’m wrong, but when sellers make a counter offer, isn’t it usually standard practice that the buyers counter back? Wait, let me answer myself. No, because apparently buyers want to just stick to their initial craptastic offer to show their true naivete and that they are perhaps jerks. Yes jerks.
I’m still feeling positive. Our other showing this week went very well and the buyer showed great interest. It’s going to happen, just not with wishy-washy-craporama-offer people.
On a lighter note, I won a $50 Gymboree gift card today. Yippee! It’s a sign of things to come.
I think giving back the offer is the best communication you could have made. That, and “Come back when you actually want to buy a house, not rip off a family, fucknuts.”
Step 12: the Karma step. BBM family is approached by a wealthy man who says, “Look, I don’t have time to negotiate, I need your house, STAT. Here’s a million dollars. If you don’t take too long to think about it I’ll throw in a bottle of cognac, too.” At the same time, original ‘buyers’ find themselves afflicted with a very localized plague of locusts.
Buyers apparently are confusing “buyer’s market” with “Fire Sale”.
Avitable: You should be in real estate. I like your approach.
Vahid: I love the apocolyptic karma. My wouldn’t that be nice!
Miss Britt: I think you are exactly right.
We once had a potential buyer make an offer that was so low it didn’t cover much more than what we owed.
We’d set the price at what we wanted, not realizing we needed some wiggle room. The Realtor was very excited to get an offer despite the fact that after we paid her we’d have come out with about zero in our pockets. Of course she was getting a portion 6 or 7 % of the price … if we got $40,000 more for the house it was $47.2K to us and just $1400 for her (I’m assuming 50% of $2,800 … and really part of that would go to the company she was affiliated with. The point is her cut went up fractionally so it was in her best interest to sell sooner than wait for a better offer.)
The offer was so low we didn’t counter. We couldn’t.
Our contract with the Realtor expired. We got a new one. She bumped the price up significantly. We finally sold (after we buried St. Joe.)
Wait…is this a home BUYING experience or a annoy your seller into giving away a huge investment experience? I’m sorry, but gee, if I’m buying a house and my offer’s countered, then gosh, I need to play the game the way it’s meant to be played!! I’m so sorry, BBM! I wish there was something I could do for you, short of just feeling irritated on your behalf!!
Sounds like the buyers might be trying to buy a house they potentially can’t really afford. That’s why their offer is so low. But if that’s the case, then they need to reconsider where they’re at–maybe now is not the time for them to be buying a house?
We had an issue a while back when we sold our last house: a couple came, loved the place, even brought their parents to see it! The problem? They weren’t married, and literally two days after we signed our part of the paperwork (and the day they were supposed to sign theirs)… they broke up. Good that it happened before they bought the place I suppose.
We were lucky enough to have another buyer who was really interested. But still, the stress caused by the first buyer was tremendous.
There was a plus side: the guy was genuinely apologetic (it was pretty clear he didn’t want the relationship to end) and was part-owner of a really good mexican restaurant. He took good care of us anytime we came into his restaurant!
Hang in there. Good things are going to happen.
Tell them to stick that check where the sun don’t shine. And by the way, I love the word “sucktastic”. If I use it I promise to give you full credit.
I feel for you BBM. These buyers sound like they are taking the sub-prime crisis to mean that they have a green light to make absurd, low-ball offers. Move on, these people are waisting your time.
By the way “sucktastic” is a pretty cool new word for me too.
I have no advice on the selling, but Hooray for the gift card!!! Now go get yourself a parent’s magazine because they have a 20% off coupon for Gymbo in there!!!
Delmer: I’m still counting on St. Joe.
Marguerite: Thanks. It’s good not to be alone in my being annoyed.
Dave: I agree. If they can’t afford it, then they really shouldn’t be wasting my time and eating my cookies! GRR.
Miss Chris: It is a pretty fantastic word, huh? It just puts it so perfectly.
Chris: Yeah, them moving on is the best thing for all of us. I actually prefer to think of it as US moving on and them being left behind in our dust.
Joanna: Gymbucks starts tomorrow too! Woo hoo!