December 19, 2007

It’s Trans-Atlantic Funtime Wednesday!

Hiya folks, I guess I’d better do a little intro for you all. My name’s Adam, and as the post title may have given away, I live all the way over the ocean in Britain. England to be specific. Cornwall, England to be even more specific. In fact, if you really want to get down to it, you can see where I live right here. In between periodically updating my blog and writing the odd review or two, I train in the Korean art of Tang Soo Do. It’s not so common over here, in fact you’re more likely to find it in the States, but it’s essentially a Korean take on Okinawan Karate. I’ve just graded for fourth Gup, and I’m currently facing the slowly dawning realisation that Dan grading is looming on the horizon. And of course, I’m somewhere between 5 and 8 hours ahead of the majority of readers here. By my reckoning that effectively gives me the power of time travel, I can even tell you what happens at dinnertime today!

BBM has kindly asked me to guest post here today, but under the strict condition that I do it with my underwear on. But what to write about? It’s quite a daunting prospect going from my own very modest readership, where literally tens of people are party to the innermost workings of my frazzled brain, to taking the stage here. BBM has a reputation (so I hear) to uphold. So do I go with an embarrassing tale of my own ineptitude, a stirring recollection of something martial arts related, or maybe something thought-provoking and profound? I think something approaching the first one is the most likely.

So I’ve been a busy chap lately, preparing gifts and presents to go all over the place for this festive time of year. One of my little packages had to find its way to the United States, so being the clever chap I am I figure I’ll get it sorted and off as smoothly as a buttered weasel. Off I went to the local shops to find the bits and pieces I wanted, a nice card and a big padded envelope to put it all in. I found out that I’d need a Customs label to send goods outside of the EU, with the contents clearly marked on the outside – so much for the surprise! I went to the Post Office website to get me one of these labels and be super-efficient – no faffing about in the queue for me! However, I notice on the site a note about sending food (part of the package I was sending was edible) to the USA. As I read, more and more obstacles, hurdles and red tape make themselves apparent.

Following the first link, I come across the FDA website. It seems with the high levels of alert and utter panic after various terrorist attacks, food and drink is subject to some pretty strict legislation if you want to get it sent to the USA. I dutifully followed the instructions, page after page after page. Form after form after form. Who am I? Who is the recipient? What am I sending? What’s it made of? How much of it is there? Who made it? Where is that company based? On and on the questions went, but it’s of no matter to By-the-books Man! This package needs to get there and by Jingo I’m going to make sure it does! An hour or so later and I’m done, all I need to do now is wait for my reference number to arrive to put on the Customs label. I wait. And wait. And wait. After about another hour I decide to have another look at the Post Office site, just on the off-chance I’d missed something. This time I don’t click on the first link in the text, and actually finish reading the information. The same piece of information which tells me "If you’re sending a gift, there’s no need to do any of that FDA malarkey as long as it’s marked as a gift on the label" (I’m paraphrasing)…… If I wasn’t so annoyed at myself for not having read it properly in the first place, I could’ve screamed.

Yeah I know I’m mixing tenses a lot here, just bear with me. It won’t last too much longer I promise.

After a cup of tea, half an hour’s rest and repeatedly calling myself every name under the sun, it was time to package it all up and go and post it. Except of course, it doesn’t all fit in the envelope…. Deep breath Adam, we’ll just nip up to the little shop up the road and get another. Oops, all sold out. One annoying drive later, testing both my tolerance and skills of avoiding holiday-driving idiots, all desperate to make that extra second of difference to their journey, and I’m at the Post Office. Naturally at this time of year there’s quite a queue, a queue I can’t quite see the end of thanks to the curvature of the Earth. Cue more waiting. By the time I got to the front of the line I’d grown a full beard, but I’d made it! It ended up costing nearly as much to send as the value of the contents, but that’s irrelevant, I’d succeeded!

It might seem like a bit of an odd story to use to fuel my one and only guest post here, but I think it’s representative of just how much stress the most seemingly simple task can cause at this time of year. It’s no wonder we enjoy the festive break so much, it’s the reward for successfully getting gifts to the people who matter. Some people are content with giving a simple random DVD from the Top 20 or similar, but I like to put a bit of thought into mine. Something which makes the recipient stop and think ‘wow’ or ‘oh yeah’ when they open it. The look on their face or their reaction, that’s my little present to myself :).

With any luck you’ll not need another post from me on here, not under the same circumstances anyway. Thanks for the podium for a day, and get well soon BBM, we miss you.

Adam.

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*** There’s a new review up today on The BBM Review. BBM may be out of commission herself, but her word-grinding minions are still working hard for her. If you fancy learning something new, check out the SuTree.com website review, you’ll be glad you did. ***