Nunchaku, you are DEAD to me
Last week, I made peace with nunchaku. This week, nunchaku decided our agreement was a bunch of crap and bonked me on the head. I thought we had an understanding, nunchaku! I did, however, learn an important lesson tonight (besides the fact that foam nunchaku is a very good thing). When you are using nunchaku, you must commit to a move and not change it, even if the move is wrong. When you are thinking that you’re going to catch the nunchaku behind your back, and then you see your instructor catch it in front of his chest, DO NOT try to change your motion mid-move. If you change your motion, you will have a very rude awakening. If you’re using wooden nunchaku. . . well, the thought of that alone makes me want to cry. Needless to say, I’ll be sticking with the foam nunchaku until I know the moves really well.
It’s a very good thing that I am able to laugh at myself. There are not too many people in the dojo who you hear screaming as the nunchaku they’re using threatens their face. Hi, yeah, that’s me and I’m not ashamed. I’m also not ashamed when my instructor decides to show the white belts the bunkai of their kata, Nai Hanchi Shodan, and decides that he will treat me as a human house of cards.
Tonight, as the white belts stood there watching his every move, my instructor used an on-guard position to trap my neck and send me dropping like a brick onto the floor. I’m a tall girl. At 5’9", when I drop, people know it. There were audible gasps and "Woah’s" and one "That had to hurt." My instructor responded with "She’s a green belt. She can handle it." I reminded him that this green belt happens to be a little older than your average green belt, but I think that’s part of what makes it more fun for the younger lower belts. When you see a mama dropping to the ground, they have visions of doing that to their own. Who wouldn’t like that vision after being asked to clean your room for the 14th time?
I also had the opportunity to work with a little yellow belt who will be testing next week for green. I worked on his kata and waza with him and helped him with kicks and self-defense as well. He’s very good at his kata, so I basically helped him with the little nit-picky stuff. It was so nice to be working with someone who wants to know their kata. I’m really hoping that Big I gets there sometime soon. Self-defense and waza are not a problem for her, but when it comes to kata, I think she gets overwhelmed and shuts down.
I told her that this weekend, we are breaking down the kata into small parts and she’s going to master each part over the course of three days so that she has six days or so to practice it as a whole for testing next week. She hasn’t tested the last few times because she really wasn’t ready. I want her to be ready this time. I really think that once she starts seeing more color on her belt, she’s going to get more motivated. She likes it when we line up at class and she’s not hanging out at the low end by herself. She likes having people below her, but she’s got to start practicing more if she wants to keep moving forward. It can’t be fun to watch others moving forward while you’re stagnant yourself.
With testing only a little over a week away, we worked tonight on weapons kata’s and self-defense. The self-defense I need to know for 3rd kyu is tricky. I need to know how to get out of a full nelson, a rear double wrist grab, and I also need to know how to get out of being held down on the ground or up against a wall. Practicing being held down on the ground doesn’t really happen at class. Unless it’s a women’s self-defense class, it’s just too awkward. So, our instructors usually demonstrate and then I take it home to have my husband sit on top of me while he threatens to tickle me and I threaten to head butt him if he doesn’t knock it the heck off right now, damn it.
He’s got me by a good 60 lbs or so and he’s a bigger guy. At 6’3" he dwarfs me so when I do the technique on him and it works, I know I’m good to go. Tonight I asked him to grab the front of my shirt and hold me against the wall. When my original plan of sending his elbows in wrong directions didn’t work, I grabbed his jaw/neck and twisted him off of me. He immediately let go and stumbled back away from me. "Ouch. Man, I think you just rubbed my gland or something," he said as he rubbed his neck. That was not the technique I was going for, but apparently I discovered something that works. We both erupted in laughter and moved on.
Next, I had him hold me down onto the floor. Whenever I’m trying something fairly new, I’ll sort of contemplate for a minute or two before I do the technique. My husband uses this as an opportunity to start talking trash at me, which usually makes me crack up laughing, which makes performing an unfamiliar technique that much harder. When I couldn’t do the technique right, we switched roles and my husband sent me flying and my elbow popping, literally. It was reminiscent of the whole knee going in a completely wrong direction thing of a few weeks ago. I started a tirade of ouch’s and other "pleasantries" and he cracked up laughing. He continued laughing until we switched places again and I wrapped his neck up pretzel style with my legs and heard him mumbling from the bottom of the pile, "Yeah, that works. No really. That definitely works."
So the injury count tonight is one sore popped elbow and one "rubbed" neck gland. I think my elbow is a bit more serious than a "rubbed" gland but that’s just me. I’ll have to let everyone at my dojo know that gland rubbing is the new joint lock (I swear, he’s still rubbing his neck a good hour after the incident). I’m also patting myself on the back for picking up the foam nunchaku during class tonight, or this post might have been brought to you from the ER. I think the nunchaku and I need to renegotiate our terms.
My new post "Would Dr. Phil Approve?" is up at Save the Soldiers. If you enjoyed reading about my husband and I sparring, this post offers some more analysis.
Rockstar Elimination: Week 10 OR Horror of all HORRORS!
People, you gotta help me out! OH MY GOD! We had "Meet the Teacher" night at Big I’s school. My parents were watching Lil C and instead of letting the nice Tivo do what it’s supposed to do. . . they CHANGED THE CHANNEL TO TENNIS which means they had to say "yes" to that little prompt about changing the channel and canceling the recording. Of all the rotten things you can do to a person. . .
My husband is frantically searching the net to find out the results for me because he realizes that I’m a woman on the EDGE. I can NOT believe I won’t see this episode.
And NOW, he’s telling me that Toby got the encore; that the bottom three were Dilana, Lukas and Storm. . . and STORM WENT HOME, even when Lukas re-performed his song from last night???? I think the full moon is influencing the world tonight; and I am NOT a happy camper.
Please, for the love of God, someone, burn it onto a DVD and mail it to me. I beg you!
Rockstar Recap: Week 10
Tonight, the rockers each performed two songs including one original tune. It was certainly an interesting night. The originals really divided up the contestants into two distinct groups.
Dilana kicked the night off with a classic song by The Who, "Behind Blue Eyes" and then an original called "Super Soul". Every song choice seems to be stemming from her "troubled" times and it’s getting a little old. If she wants everyone to forget about it and get over it, then why does she keep bringing it up? I thought her performance was more like an evening with Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde. Her soft side was revealed again in the first song, but it seemed fake. Her original lacked all creativity, and from the brief vignettes that the show revealed, Gilby Clark is less than impressed with her creativity as well. The house band was also less than thrilled with her complete lack of knowledge of "Behind Blue Eyes." I’m so over her and I think Supernova is too.
Magni was up next and offered a stark contrast to Dilana’s performance. He belted U.S.S.R. and followed up with an original that showed a new side of him completely. He offered an intense performance that was stellar in contrast to Dilana’s. What I also like about Magni is that he doesn’t kiss butt. When Tommy Lee told him his performances sounded "the same," Magni offered a sarcastic, "Well, both of those songs were performed by me" and left Tommy Lee without a comeback. If chosen, he would definitely be a leader, and wouldn’t feel as if he owed the band anything. That would be refreshing.
Storm came out and got a little surprise. Dave Navarro jumped on stage to perform "Suffragette City" with her and she proved that she can perform with the best. Navarro offered her an incredible compliment, by telling her afterward that performing with her was like performing with the other stars he’s performed alongside. She rocked a classic, and followed it with an original "What the What is Ladylike" that is still in my head. It was one of the top two originals of the night. She managed to entertain throughout the entire performance without making the "something smells bad" face. That alone is worthy of praise.
Lukas performed a stripped down version of Bon Jovi’s "Living on a Prayer", but to me it sounded more like "Mumbling in a Microphone". He seems to be moving away from the Robert Smith lookalike thing and more towards going for resembling a tarantula or something equally leggy and hideous. His hair style tonight was practically giving me an anxiety attack. I was afraid he was going to poke his own eye out or something worse. I despised his original. I just can’t take the screeching and odd facial expressions anymore. Why do people like him? I don’t get it. He was the only one of the five whose lyrics I could not understand at all.
Toby brought down the house with his original that offered a memorable sing-a-long lyric that the crowd grabbed onto immediately. He worked the room and jumped from stage to stage, even getting goosed by Tommy Lee at one point. His song was right up Supernova’s alley and it was one of the better ones tonight. It’s a good thing too. I love The Killer’s song "Mr. Brightside", but I can’t help but think that although Toby did a good job with it, Marty Casey of last year, did it better.
At the end of the show, early voting revealed that the rockers were lining up like this:
- Toby
- Lukas (Why? Why? Why?)
- Magni
- Storm
- Dilana
Encore will definitely go to either Toby or Storm (I simply can’t choose just one.)
Bottom three will be: Dilana, Magni, and Lukas (PLEASE let Lukas be in the bottom three!)
I’m going to go out on a limb here and predict that Dilana goes home. If Ryan can go home, anyone is game.
What do you think???
Ding, ding, ding Round 1
Mr. BBM and I have been kind of crabbing at each other all weekend. It started with shopping, then turned into an argument about a pan; and I was very annoyed that we had yet to spar. I mean come ON, we got the equipment on Friday. So knowing my state of grumpiness, Mr. BBM knew he had to do something to salvage the rest of the weekend. That and I called him a "chicken."
This afternoon Mr. BBM put Lil C in her port-a-crib and told Big I to entertain her. "Let’s go," he said, "We’ve got 10 minutes" which is about the limit that Lil C will happily tolerate being in her port-a-crib with Big I as an entertainer. We geared up quickly and ran down to our sparring room (aka the basement) and got busy.
Without the self-consciousness that I have at the dojo, sparring was a piece of cake. My roundhouse kicks were killer and sent Mr. BBM retreating most of the time. I tried to follow my kick with another kick, or by moving in and getting a good punch in at the belly or a back fist to the forehead. I definitely held my own. It was obvious that Mr. BBM was trying to figure out how to defend against my kicks. He’s going to have to think long and hard about that because the kicking is definitely my strongest asset.
I have super long legs. Even though my husband is a good 6 inches taller than I am, our legs are the same length. When I was pregnant with Big I, I wore his jeans during that in-between stage. So, the kicking went well. I’d also like to introduce you to my two new best friends:
(Those are not my legs by the way.) Sparring with shin guards on makes a world of difference. I was not tentative with my kicks. Without anticipating the pain that usually occurs in the shin area, I felt uninhibited and was free to let loose. I have to say that the shin guards are my favorite part of my sparring gear. I did not feel ANY impact what-so-ever. At our dojo, we use Century Lightening gear, so the Macho Warrior was an experiment. . . one that turned out very well. I’m super happy with the extra padding on the kickers and shin guards, because when sparring a 10th kyu you need all the padding you can get.
There was one place where Mr. BBM could have used some extra padding, but I’m sure you can figure that out without me spelling it out for you. Before all of you guys start doubling over with sympathy pain right, let me just tell you that as a girl, it is not any fun to be kicked where it counts either. Since Mr. BBM invaded my personal space first, his nether regions were fair game. (Just to be clear, I didn’t aim for the jewels; but if he’s going to kick and leave his leg hanging out at awkward angles. . . well, he should expect a wake up call or twelve.) I think we’ll probably start using our mouth guards next time, because we had some close calls with a hit to the eye, chin (both on him. . . . WHAT? He turned his head right into it!), and nose (like my nose needed even the threat of swelling or injury).
Mr. BBM likes the gear as well, especially considering he’s a white belt and well, let’s just say that we had some conversations about a little word that in karate, we like to call "control." Actually, for not having any real experience sparring in a dojo, Mr. BBM did very well. I found that I could easily defend against his kicks though, because I could tell when they were coming. His punches were my problem.
Being that he has me by 6 inches, he would often sort of make a fly-by and quickly run across the floor, and then lean in and bop me on the head. It got really annoying. Blocking against his punches and head bops was a little rough. I did great blocking kicks and I blocked almost all the shots to my stomach, but the head is where I’m lacking. This is definitely a problem. Mr. BBM has some muscles; he’s strong and I have skinny string bean arms that don’t do well when blocking against a punch coming from him. I’m going to have to figure out how to work on that. I really don’t know any other way other than to work on my upper body strength, or get quicker so I can move out of the way. Any suggestions on this would be happily appreciated.
I’m sure that as we spar more, I’ll be able to start reading my opponent better and will be better prepared. Sparring someone for the first time is always an adventure. You never really know what someone’s fighting style is going to be. The trick will be changing up my fighting style to keep him guessing.
Now that we know that we can break a good sweat with only a 10 minute escape from the kids, sparring on a regular basis is not going to be a problem.
Any suggestions from the karate crew on defending against punches to the head when your opponent has much more upper body strength than you have? I would be very appreciative of suggestions, and so would my brain that seems to be rattling around in my skull a bit since we sparred.
If you would like to join the Black Belt Mama Challenge, it’s not too late. The BBM Challenge is on-going and new participants can sign up at any time. Go here for details. Participants in the BBM Challenge will receive a coupon code to use at Everything Fitness, and a wealth of support from other blogger participants.
Chicken
I am the initiator of the Black Belt Mama Challenge.
I should be setting a good example. I should be following through with my goals.
I have a problem. Unfortunately, part of my goal involves another person, Mr. BBM.
We ordered our sparring gear and being the nice person that I am, I even let my husband choose his color first. He picked black, the color I wanted. I let him have the black because I figured he’s a 10th kyu on a semi-permanent break and therefore I’ll let him have the black gear and feel all big and bad.
I ordered metallic blue which I thought would emphasize my eyes nicely. . . and it does.
We got our gear quickly (Karate Depot doesn’t mess around when it comes to shipping). On Friday it arrived and I ripped it open with enthusiasm.
My daughter and I had a blast trying it on and "sparring" in the kitchen.
My husband is one of those people who, on Christmas morning, immediately disappears to try on a new shirt or pair of pants as soon as he opens it. He’s very much like a kid. Because of that, this was the scene as soon as he saw that the gear had arrived. . .
Big I could care less that she doesn’t have sparring gear yet. She’ll use her bare hands to inflict pain. She’ll take out her Kindergarten frustration on her Daddy any day (notice the "height" of that particular punch). He’s grimacing for a pretty good reason, or so he tells me.
Because Mr. BBM and I will be sparring each other, and because my shins already are a lumpy bumpy bluish/purplish/greenish/yellowish/grayish (depending on the day and age of the bruise) mess, we also ordered shin guards.
But, besides the few brief moments of Big I threatening my husband with bodily harm, and her yelling "HEY!" every time I bopped her while sparring in the kitchen, our gear has remained relatively dormant. Mr. BBM and I have not engaged in any official sparring activity. (This, of course, does not include the argument we had this evening over the soaking of a certain pan that needed intense therapy after Salmon Burger Fest 2006 inflicted on it by none other than Mr. BBM himself). Yes, besides Mr. BBM walking around the house kicking things and remarking how thick and nice and padded and awesome our kickers and shin pads are, our gear has remained relatively inactive.
Sure, this was Kindergarten week and that took a lot out of all of us. Of course, the girls are on really messed up schedules right now that is throwing us all for a loop; and yes, we have spent a disproportionate time of our weekend shopping. But that’s no EXCUSE! Black Belt Mama needs to set an example, and I intend to start. . .
tomorrow.
Mr. BBM fell asleep upstairs while putting Lil C down for the night. An accidental nap? I think not. I think there’s a certain 10th kyu with black sparring gear that happens to be a bit afraid of his soon to be (hopefully) 3rd kyu wife who happened to take issue with his soaking pan comment.
My message to him is simple: BE AFRAID. Be VERY AFRAID, because I’m gonna look so good in my metallic blue gear that you’re not even going to see that roundhouse coming, or that back fist to the head that comes on the tail of a simple block. That’s right Mr. BBM, I’m throwing down the gauntlet. Bawk, bawk, bawk, bawk. . . are you chicken. . . or are we gonna GO?
Think that will get his butt in gear?
If you would like to join the Black Belt Mama Challenge, it’s not too late. The BBM Challenge is on-going and new participants can sign up at any time. Go here for details. Participants in the BBM Challenge will receive a coupon code to use at Everything Fitness, and a wealth of support from other blogger participants.
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