September 12, 2006

The Letter I Did Not Write

September 11, 2006

Dear "Mrs. M.",

"Big I" is my first child in school so I’m pretty new at this. I wasn’t sure what to do ~~even though I strongly knew what I felt like doing~~. . .

. . . but I wanted to make you aware of what happened today. Big I had a problem on the bus. A girl named ~~Spawn of Satan~~ Suzie blocked her from sitting with another little girl on the bus, and when Big I sat down anyway, ~~little biotch~~ Suzie then used her body to push Big I off the seat. Big I ended up sitting by herself and when she got off the bus she was very upset ~~and I was freaking livid and thought I was going to need some blood pressure medication immediately to keep myself from turning into the Incredible Hulk~~.

I just wanted to make you aware of this since Big I tells me ~~the hateful wretched little brat~~ Suzie is also in her class. Big I said that the bus driver did not see what happened. However, when there are only a few children on the bus I would like to think that he would see what was going on, especially before the bus was in motion as the kids are getting seated. ~~In other words, why the hell wasn’t he paying attention??? AND, he better be paying attention from now on or else I’m going to take care of business~~.

I have talked to Big I about what to do in this situation should it happen again ~~("Firmly tell the little brat not to ever touch you again, and then if she pushes you again or tries to get in your way, you have my permission to take her down any way you know how.")~~, but I would like to think that this will be the first and last time ~~or else I’m going to get on that bus myself and personally crack some skulls~~.

If you could please let me know who would be the best person to contact regarding issues with the bus ~~so I can scream my head off at them and take my frustrations out on them~~, I would greatly appreciate it. I didn’t want to speak to the bus driver when he drops Big I off, because I’d prefer not to discuss it in front of the other ~~demonic monsters~~ kids. Thanks so much for your time.

Sincerely,

~~One seriously ticked off mama~~ "Black Belt Mama"

Big I has been going to Kindergarten for six days or so and she has been doing fine. Each morning she tells me that she doesn’t want to go, but she goes and comes home and usually has a couple positive things to tell me about her day. Last week, she even expressed an interest in riding the bus home from school and she’s been doing that for the past four days.

On Thursday, the bus pulled up to the stop and I was pleasantly surprised to see Big I sitting in a seat with another little girl. She got off the bus ecstatic and told me that this little girl was her friend and in her class. I was so happy; as was Big I.

On Friday, the bus pulled to a stop and Big I was sitting by herself. She emerged from the bus with a smile on her face, but then quickly dissolved into a heap of hurt feelings and told me that her "friend" didn’t want her to sit with her. My insides hurt just hearing the replay. She said that the little girl told her she couldn’t sit with her. She wanted to sit by herself.

So, we spent the weekend reassuring Big I and telling her that the little girl probably just wanted to sit alone. It probably wasn’t anything personal.

Yesterday, Big I got off the bus and immediately erupted into the story of how she got on the bus and tried to sit with a different little girl. The "friend"/bully girl blocked Big I from sitting and then when Big I sat down anyway, the girl pushed her out of the way and off of the seat. I stopped in my tracks on the way back to our house. "She did WHAT?" "Yeah, she pushed me," Big I said and retold the story. Big I then said, "She doesn’t want to sit by herself; she just doesn’t want to sit with me." My heart ripped in half and I could suddenly hear the blood rushing through my head.

If this were a Seinfeld episode and I were playing the part of George Costanza circa the movie theater episode (and oh how I wish it were), I would have jumped in my car, burned rubber out of the parking lot and followed the bus. I would have parked as the little "friend" emerged from the bus and then I would have followed her right up to her front door. I would have told her parent/parents how RUDE she was to my daughter and that I expect that she’ll be given a stern talking to, or else. OR else meaning, I will personally give permission to Big I to take that little biotch down to the ground if she dares push her again. I would have demanded an apology and not left until Big I got one.

Since this, unfortunately, is not an episode of Seinfeld and I can’t have a Costanza moment without being arrested, I told Big I that she does NOT have to tolerate that kind of behavior. I told her that if the girl dares to push her again she will respond in a stern and assertive voice, "Do NOT push me. That’s NOT nice" and she will sit wherever her little heart desires.

This isn’t just a minor little bus issue. You see, Big I comes home and decides to take out her frustration on Lil C and me by not listening and by pushing and being bossy with Lil C. I don’t tolerate it in this house, and Big I does not have to tolerate it on the bus.

I swore back when I was a teacher that when I had children I would not be THAT parent. You know, the one who calls the school and teacher about every little thing. But I could not let this one go. I could not let this child ruin my child’s day. So, with the help and guidance of one of my best friends who also happens to be a teacher, I wrote "Mrs. M" the email above (minus the strike-throughs and clip art of course) and got a lovely response back before Big I was even awake this morning.

"Mrs. M" replied that she will be speaking with "Suzie" personally, and that the principal will also be made aware. She thanked me for bringing this to her attention and told me that if it happens again I should not hesitate to contact her. She said she would then call Suzie’s parents. She also said she would personally speak with the bus driver when Big I got on the bus (out of ear shot of course).

Today, the bus pulled up and Big I was sitting in a seat with the two little girls. She got off the bus ecstatic. Apparently, Suzie had been summoned to the principals office. The teacher also reminded Suzie as they were lining up for the bus that she needed to be nice. When Big I got on the bus, Suzie asked Big I to sit with her. She was nice to her throughout the day. I hope this is the last issue with this particular girl. I am so thankful that Big I’s teacher is so awesome.

What I can’t help but wonder though is why little girls are so mean? Big I doesn’t have a mean bone in her body, as evidenced by her refusal to hit anyone while sparring at the dojo because she doesn’t want to hurt anyone or make anyone sad. I can’t be the only one raising my children to be kind and compassionate, right? So, where are the other nice little girls? And since when did Kindergarten become so catty?