August 23, 2006

Rockstar Recap: Week 8 and “Wrong Sauce”

The season finale is September 13th and I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t a little bit happy about it. As soon as the show begins its air time, googlers and yahooers from far and wide start coming under the search terms, "Rockstar Recap." It stresses me out. Sure, I love the extra visitors (who will probably just all go away in a few short weeks when this is all over), but I just want to make it clear that I have two kids and sometimes don’t get to watch the TIVO version of my show until VERY late at night. That, and the fact that I write a RECAP, not a psychic prediction so as the show begins for you. . . it’s beginning for me too.

Moving right along.

Patrice started off the show with an original performance. It was the most spirited I’ve seen her in a long time. The song was really pretty good. But she will definitely be going home this week. No doubt about it.

Magni performed "Smells like Teen Spirit" and brought down the house. I liked everything about this performance, with the exception of his hat. It made him look more like a rotten mushroom head. Lose the hat Magni-the stage lights look cool reflecting off your bald head. Really.

Ryan was awesome. He performed an original song that I could totally hear Supernova playing. I could hear it on the radio immediately. However, his description left a lot to be desired. When the Supernova guys told him they liked his song, he said something like, "Yeah, it’s about the end of the world. Some people will be in church; some people will be screwing." Great description Ryan. That was eloquent, romantic even. Someone should just tell him to keep his mouth shut because he also attributed his good performance to the fact that "I got laid dude." Good for you Ryan.

Storm wanted to literally fight Ryan for the original performance but ended up backing down when the other contestants encouraged her to let Ryan have it. Instead she wound up with "Cryin’" by Aerosmith. She did a really nice job, but I would have liked it so much more to see her go a few rounds with Ryan who looked completely bewildered at the possibility of sparring with Storm. Who wouldn’t? She looks tough and she’s 7′ 2" or something insane like that. My only criticism of her performance is that like Magni in weeks gone by, I was starting to fear that she was going to pop a major blood vessel in her forehead.

Dilana has been growing on me in recent weeks. Tonight changed that. First, she ran around the pool naked in order to sing, "Every breath you take". That’s all fine and good, and it shows you have guts (It also shows other "things" but we won’t go there). But I was not impressed with the way she sang the song one bit. I was also distracted by what appeared to be bird wings that were affixed to her eyelids. Very odd. Because they were bright pink, from a distance, it made her appear as if she had eyelid surgery gone wrong. Tommy Lee, where was your "wrong sauce" comment tonight? And one last thing, Dilana singing "Every breath you take" was like watching The Killers sing "Twinkle Twinkle Little Star." It didn’t work for me. Then again, she sang it for her Mom. The same Mom she hasn’t spoken to in years, so she got you on the whole sympathy vote thing.

Toby renewed my interest again. I’ve been waiting for him to do this. He changed up "Layla" and I loved the harder arrangement. I know what you’re thinking, but don’t even go there. I was liking his performance even before he disrobed from the waist up. He also had "EVS" written on his chest which he says is Australian for "Whatevah". That happens to be one of my most favorite words. Way to go Toby.

Lukas performed the one Killers song that I don’t particularly care for. I didn’t like his performance at all. I liked the fact that he was wearing sunglasses because I wasn’t subjected to his insane- asylum-darting eyes. But then he flung the glasses off his head in a ballet sashay meets freaky move that was marinated in "wrong sauce." It also occurred to me that Lukas really needs to take up some endurance training. Maybe he intends to sound breathless, but he sounds more like he’s going to keel over instead. I’ve also decided that it’s that smile with his eyes closed, head tilted to the side, where he sort of emits screechy sounds that really bothers me. I want Lukas to go home in the worst way. I really do.

Bottom three: Patrice, Lukas and Dilana (I’m going totally on who I think deserves to be there. I don’t think Dilana will actually end up there, but I believe she should.)

Sayonara: Patrice

Encore goes to Ryan, yet again. He’s becoming a bit of a front-runner, no?