July 26, 2006

Rockstar Recap: Week 3 or WE HAVE TUNES!

Let me preface this by saying that I am very tired. Lil C is popping a new and apparently very painful tooth which means there is lots of drool, crying, fussing, hold-me-mommy constantly, fussing. . . oh, I already said that. . . well, it warrants being said again, and again. . . fussy. Oh, and did I mention ~~her~~ our lack of sleep?

Anyway, tack onto that the fact that I tried to play tennis on my messed up knee for exactly 10 minutes last night before I called it quits and I am paying for those 10 minutes dearly. Somehow I don’t think it’s going to magically heal by the time I need to get my tired behind to karate class this week. This Rockstar Recap will be an accomplishment if I can even spell their names right. So here goes. . .

First of all, WE HAVE TUNES! Gilby, Jason, and Tommy must be reading my blog. There really is no other explanation. They showed up at the potential rockstars’ mansion with actual recorded music that they had made, and recently. And. . . it didn’t suck. I’m actually encouraged. I may start to like this show more and pine for INXS a bit less. A bit, I said. Let’s not get carried away.

So, now that the potential rock stars actually know what kind of music they might be singing to, they have some idea of what songs to pick each week. Well, at least everyone but Zayra does. She’s just out in left field, or actually more like the planet Mars, what with her galactic get-up this week. Without further delay, the rock stars and my professional (lazy) opinion (me so tired. . . yawn). Where was I? Oh yeah:

Lukas: If I don’t look at him, I can sort of like him. The arrangement he did tonight was really cool. He took Cold Play and made it harder. It was interesting to say the least. Go Lukas. Two thumbs up (and then falling down quickly because I’m falling asleep.)

Zayra: Planet Earth to Starship Cluebag, do you read? I must say, the blue sparkly spandex was almost enough to distract me from how lousy her voice was tonight. Zayra, you can sing "Call me" all you want, but I can guarantee Supernova will not be calling you to front their band. That outfit was like Wonder Woman gone wrong, so very terribly wrong.

Patrice: Dave was rude! RUDE, I tell you. Maybe it’s the divorce. Maybe all the black nail polish, eyeliner and hair dye is seeping into his pores and numbing his brain filter. You know the filter that stops you from saying all the rude things you want to say but don’t because they’re, well. . . rude. I don’t think she did poorly at all. Hey, at least she’s consistent even if she doesn’t change it up every week.

Toby: He made me like Billy Idol tonight, and that is a hard thing to do. Every week he shows up with that awesome voice and a killer performance. The only thing scary about his performance this week was the girl in the audience who had her tongue sticking out the entire performance. Her tongue was so insane that when she danced, I think it bounced off of her neck. Put it away girl. Scary.

Jill: I’m not a fan. Even though she sang o.k. tonight, I’m with Gilby on the whole "pelvic thrusting is wrong" thing. I can’t stand when women resort to sex; and I gained brand new respect for Gilby for pointing it out to her.

Magni: I look at him and think Bono from U2. He sounds more like him every week. He just doesn’t jive in my head with the band SuperNova.

Ryan: He brought it. You go boy! He went from vanilla last week to a step up this week. I’ll give him french vanilla.

Dana: I eat my words from last week. Ooh, yummy. Nice job tonight.

Phil: He has entirely too many ticks. He reminds me of one time when I was talking to a boss I had in college. She was showing me how someone talked to her, and she started sort of convulsing. I didn’t realize that she was doing the imitation and I almost started searching for a tongue depressor and reaching for a phone to call an ambulance. He makes me want to call for help. Not a good quality in a rock star.

Dilana: I had so many hits land on my site this week from searching for "Dilana". I got scared. "My GOD! She knows about me," I thought. "She’s coming for me, and no karate can fend off Dilana when she’s angry. . ." or so I imagined. I think she reads my site too. Seriously! Because she sang Cyndi Lauper this week. "Time after Time," is a tame song. She did it so well. It was very sweet, very sincere, and I’d be lying if I didn’t admit that she’s growing on me. Yep, I said it. "Spawn of Satan" is growing on me.

Josh: He did o.k. I like the bluesy thing Josh brought to the Blind Melon song. I just can’t look at him without thinking that my sister’s boyfriend has suddenly turned into a wanna-be rock star. Weird.

Storm: With all the facial contortions, I can’t watch her. But while I was shielding my face (and probably starting to doze off) Mr. BBM hit the nail on the head. "She’s a skinny Wynonna Judd!"

He’s so right. I like listening; I just can’t watch.

I think I remembered everyone. I think I might have even spelled their names right. If not, you get the idea. Oh, and one more thing. . . Tommy Lee, this is on during prime time. Children might be watching this show. Please, DO NOT wear those jeans and then stand up and raise your arms to the sky. Talk about scary. Don’t you know that ultra low rise jeans are reserved for teenagers with pot bellies? Come on already!

Edited to add: In my complete and utter exhaustion, I forgot to make my predictions. Encore to Dana; bye-bye for the space cadet, Zayra.

And if you made it this far (all two of you who read my blog AND watch Rockstar) go on over to Birth Stories. There are two new stories up. One is by Lydia who is so hysterically funny that whether you are into reading about childbirth or not, you won’t want to miss it. She also sent along pictures of herself. . . DURING THE LABOR. There is one picture that just shows the pain of childbirth so perfectly. If you’re a teenager and you’re thinking how wonderful and romantic it would be to have a baby. . . GO LOOK AT HER FACE IN THAT PICTURE. . . and then wait ten years. The other story is by Kailani and is a short, sweet letter to her baby. Short and sweet because that’s how her labor was-HEY, NOT FAIR! Now, go, get, check them out. I’m going to bed.