July 12, 2006

A little bit of this, a little bit of that, but mostly things that tick me off

Rockstar Supernova

Is anyone else watching Rockstar Supernova? I’ve got a message for the performers. If your name isn’t Toby. . . go home. You don’t have a chance. I called it last week and I’m going to say it again. He rocks on a completely different level from everyone else. Of course, I called Marty at the beginning of last season; and he was the runner up. I actually kind of hope that Toby makes it to the top two and then loses. Why? Because I think he’ll do better on his own than he would with the Tommy Lee crew. The thing that is killing me about Tommy Lee and company right now? They keep saying to the contestants, "From that song choice, you don’t know what we’re all about." Tommy, Gilby, Jason. . . no one knows what the heck you’re all about. You don’t have a song out yet; not one. You have no library of music to generate songs from. Sure, you have your old bands, but the times have changed and so has the music. Anyway, because the people I want to win NEVER win (American Idol for example, because since Kelly, not a one!), I am going to choose some additional potentials in case Toby shows up singing Celine Dion next week or something. My runner-up contestants, in no particular order are: Patrice, Josh and Storm. So, because I now put that in black and white. . . Dilana or "Spawn of Satan" as I like to call her, will probably win. Scary if you ask me; but Supernova is certainly no INXS.

Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man’s Chest movie

Captain Jack Sparrow (Johnny Depp) and Will Turner (Orlando Bloom). . . sexy. Double sexy. Choke on your popcorn sexy. Use your popcorn bag as a hyperventilation aid sexy. Damn.

Teenage boys chewing snuff (dip, black tar-like substance, whatever you want to call it) while watching movie. . . so NOT sexy.

Message to snuff chewing boys: If you ever want to attend a movie with a female counter-part as opposed to your fellow snuff chewing zitty boy friends, I’d highly suggest spitting out the wad of cancer-causing nastiness. Gross. Seriously gross. Not only is it gross, but you look like a little old man who is missing his dentures. It’s just wrong.

Message to the three teenagers sitting beside me (one female, one male who were obviously a couple and then a third male): When you are sitting in the front row of a movie theater, it is rude to make out with your girlfriend/boyfriend. Not only does it make the third wheel of your little party uncomfortable, but it makes the 30-something couple sitting beside you kind of want to slap you around a bit. Back in my day (and NO, I don’t have dentures yet so I’m not THAT old), if you wanted to make out, you didn’t waste money on a movie and you certainly didn’t bring a friend along to watch. And, were you aware young teenager girl, that while you were lip-locked with your boyfriend, you were totally missing Orlando Bloom and Johnny Depp? My God WOMAN, what is WRONG with you?

The Picture People experience (yet again)

Lil C got her 9 month pictures taken today. Because I am a glutton for punishment, I took her back to The Picture People. I like their pictures; I really do. But I also have a message for the photographer: Do you see that dial-like thing on the end of the camera? The one around the lens? The thing that moves? Good. Now listen closely, when you move that thing. . . it does this amazing thing. It focuses. It’s supposed to focus on a FACE, not my baby’s fingernail on her pinky toe, not even on the stitching on her dress, and certainly not on the prop that you have placed behind my baby. You see, when you do that. . . my baby. . . her face is blurry. When her face is blurry, I don’t buy the pictures. I also scowl at you, complain, demand that you reprint the pictures because maybe you moved the negative or a wind blew it at just the wrong moment or something. Because you see, I have just had a work-out trying to get my very mobile baby to sit still for you so you can take the picture. When you take the picture and her face is blurry. . . you have failed miserably, and all that sweating that I have just done after spending 20 minutes of trying to convince her to sit still and smile at you even though you are very scary is for NOTHING. NOTHING. Add that up: 20 minutes plus one hour of waiting for blurry pictures plus 30 minutes of waiting for you to print and reprint and show me all the damn negatives already because there has to be at least ONE picture where her face is in focus. . .

It all adds up to one VERY HIGHLY ANNOYED mama. I have two words for you Picture People . . . AUTO FOCUS.

And, I think I’m about done now. I was going to add a little segment here about karate class this week; but right now, I’m just too annoyed with what happened at class to even process trying to write about it. Maybe later. . .