March 8, 2006

Karate Girls

I’m not really a black belt. . . at least not yet. But I will be some day soon. I am currently a 6th kyu green belt. I earned that green belt while eight months pregnant so I am quite proud of the fact that I could even kick at that point considering I was quite large, carrying oh so low and it was about 9000 degrees. (I had my daughter 10.4.05).

Fh000025_11 I was inspired to take karate by Laci Peterson, Lori Hacking, and other random female victims whose crimes against them just plain outraged me. Not that I am afraid of my husband, because I am not in the slightest. We’re fine. But, when the whole Lori Hacking thing was happening, I woke him from his sleep at about 1 a.m. after watching about three hours of constant coverage on the story to just let him know that if he ever tried that kind of crap on me, even if he succeeded, my ghost would come back and make his life a living hell. He laughed; he’s used to me.

I started taking karate with my then three-year old daughter and we both continue to go to this day. The proof that my soon-to-be five year old can kick butt??? Ask her Daddy to show you the quarter sized bruises all over his body from when they "spar." She can throw a wicked forearm and if you ask her where to hit a bad guy or gal. . . well, let’s just say that you shouldn’t really ask her that question in places like church, a restaurant, or well, anywhere in public because she will tell you, and loudly.

The cool thing about our karate is that we’re also learning how to use weapons. My personal favorite is the bo, which is a six foot long stick basically. Think back to the days of men or women carrying water jugs on either end of a long stick. It made a handy weapon. So would my swiffer to be quite honest; and don’t think for a second that I don’t practice with that thing while I’m making dinner. My daughter’s bo is actually a dowel from Home Depot and she knows how to use it too, although she prefers pretending it’s a "horsey" from time to time in class. Our instructor is quite amused at her imagination and I’d be lying if I said that I didn’t think it was quite funny myself.

While I have the love affair with the martial arts, my daughter has a love/hate relationship with it. At home, she will rail on her daddy; but ask her to spar in class with a layer of padding thick enough to confuse her with the Pillsbury Dough Boy and she’ll demurely tell you that she "doesn’t want to hurt anyone." Regardless, I figure if its in her head and we reinforce it enough, she’ll remember it in case she ever needs it, God forbid.

I’m planning on starting my five month old daughter as soon as she can stand and kick. She had a jump start while in utero. My friends and family may think I’m insane for training my young daughter in karate already, but I figure if we start now, then by dating age they will both be black belts (along with their mama), and I’ll be able to relax a bit more than I would otherwise. Can you imagine the look on a young boys face when he shows up and sees his date’s mother whipping around a swiffer with gusto??? Priceless.