The Birth of Sophia Katharine

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It all started that Friday morning. I had the OB appointment with the horrid doctor who, I think, stripped my membranes without asking. It was a painful examination, not least of which because her fingers were so short.

I was quite crampy from that appointment on throughout the day, and then progressively more crampy with back achiness added in for good measure. All along, they had been telling me that if I don’t feel it in my back, then it probably isn’t contractions. So, about 2:30 that afternoon, I started feeling twinges in my back in addition to the contractions that started to come more regularly. Now it’s funny to look back on these "contractions" compared to what came later. I wasn’t mentioning them to Aaron at this point because I could still walk around and talk and joke while having them. I decided to experiment around 10 pm and tried doing a little nipple stimulation. Yikes! Things picked up then. Apparently, the stimulation released the right amount of oxytocin and convinced my body to get things moving along. I wrote an asterisk next to the 10:10 pm time recording because it was a noticeably stronger contraction. I had the same strength contractions until 11:30 when Aaron convinced me to call the OB office to check in and see what they would recommend. At this point, it was either try to go to bed or go into labor. My sister and mother had very short labors and I was a bit worried that if I stayed home, I’d end up having her here. I ended up not needing to worry about that.

The doctor called back and after discussing the timing of the contractions, etc., recommended that it was time to head to the hospital where they would check me. Because I was going to be induced on Monday night anyway, even if things hadn’t progressed much, they most likely wouldn’t send me home.

I think it started to sink in at this point; because as soon as I hung up the phone, with Aaron looking at me with anticipation, I started to cry. And he knew to start gathering up the bags and supplies. Our hospital bag had been packed for about 3 weeks; but now, finally, it was real. So there were a lot of last minute decisions on what to bring. I could still walk around and make decisions at this point so the contractions were manageable. Again, in hindsight, these were nothing. Now I’ll know for next time.

We got to the hospital lugging about five different bags right about midnight. Or, rather, Aaron was lugging all the bags because he didn’t want me to carry anything. We had to wait at the security checkpoint for someone at the birthing center to come down and fetch me. I think the fact that I didn’t need a wheelchair at this point was another good indication that I might have waited longer.

We were ushered to our birthing room and I was asked to disrobe and put on the lovely johnny that

became my wardrobe for the next 20 hours or so. I was given a monitoring belt thingy in which they could stick the baby heartbeat monitor and the contractions monitor. The contractions were steady but minor. Sophie’s heartbeat was strong and normal. My blood pressure was still high. Dr. Hicks arrived to check me and I was still about 2 cm. So, she said that she would be back in a few hours to check again. Our nurse at this point was Kerri. She was young and very sweet and was very quiet and calm all night. She was also a Scorpio, so we had a discussion about Sophie maybe waiting until the 23rd because she wanted to be a Scorpio, too. Aaron managed to snooze a bit on the very uncomfortable ‘couch’ in the room. I tried to snooze, but the contractions were getting more uncomfortable and more regular.

First thing in the morning (around 7 am), Kerri’s shift ended and Dolores became our nurse. She was older and had obviously done this a lot. She was very frank and no nonsense and the perfect person to have in a birthing room with you. Dr. Hicks returned to check and I was still about 2 cm. So we had a discussion about maybe sending me home for a bit (no, too scary at this point) or maybe giving me pitocin (um, no) or maybe inserting a cervidil insert. I decided on the cervidil insert because it was less harsh than pitocin and consisted of prostoglandin which helps to ready the cervix vs. giving you full-blown contractions (that’s my interpretation).

Dr. Hicks recommended Aaron and I walk around the birthing center for a bit while Dolores got the

jacuzzi tub ready for me. I think the cervidil was finally inserted about noon – and it was supposed stay in for 12 hours. By now, the contractions were enough to cause me to stop walking and concentrate on getting through them. I also desperately needed Aaron to hold me while I had a contraction. Finally, the tub was ready and in I went. Aaaaahh. All I can say. Our childbirth coach had recommended the tub – ‘Get in it even if it seems like it couldn’t possibly help’. I was feeling most of the contractions in my back and the tub helped immensely. I’m not sure whether it was the heat or the jets, but something took the edge off. They would pull me out of the tub every 2two hours or so to put me back on the monitors and to check my dilation status. I can’t remember the timing at this point, but the next check I was 3-4 cm and then the next stage I was at 5-6 cm. Aaron tried to get me to do another walk around the birthing center but I found I just could not leave the room. This is what they considered ‘active labor’ which ended up being about 7.5 hours for me. They estimated that active labor started about 1:30 or so. Why the earlier contractions were not considered labor, I don’t know. They certainly felt like something more than just preparation.

All the while, it was getting more and more difficult to get out of the tub to dry off and then get into the labor bed to be monitored. The tub was so relaxing and it really helped me to concentrate on getting through the contractions that I was actually a bit panicked when they would come to get me out again. And as soon as the monitoring was done, I was back in the tub. All modesty went out the

door at this point. I didn’t care who saw me naked. I even peed all over the bed during one of my contractions. I was mortified but all I could think about was getting back in the tub. I had much more important things to think about. At some point, the contractions really started getting intense, much more intense than before and much, much harder for me to get my mind around. Aaron had been given lots of tips by Dolores about giving me ice chips to munch on, to keep a very cold, icy compress on my forehead and to tell me, during the monitoring, when the contractions were hitting their peaks. These things all became crucial to me as we neared the end. I really, desperately, needed to know when the contractions hit their peak. They were almost too much to bear at times. But I’m getting ahead of myself.

So, there I was in the tub. Still. And at this point, I wanted it really dark and I needed Aaron to be in the bathroom with me. So he sat on the floor and held my hand and fed me ice and gave me ice water and talked me quietly through the contractions. The water was barely helping at this point. I had a couple of jets hitting my ankles. I tried to concentrate on those jets when the contractions hit. They seemed to be hitting me every 2 minutes or less. And I remember thinking that when they check me again, if I’m not past 7 cm, I’m not sure I’ll be able to handle getting to a full 10. I had given them a birth plan and had asked that they not ask me about pain killers, that I would bring up the subject if I needed them. They were very good about this. Yes, I was in a LOT of pain at this

point, but instinctively I knew I could do it; and I knew it was probably too late for anything, anyway. Dolores had even said at one point – ‘it’s going to hurt a lot, but no one has died from the pain’. Maybe I wanted the bragging rights and maybe a lot of it was that I didn’t want to hurt Sophie. And I wanted to prove to myself that I could do it.

So, this time when they tried to get me out of the tub, it took everything I had to get through the contractions while standing. The gravity was just too much after being in the tub for so long. And, coincidentally, Dolores’ shift was ending and Jody (a much younger nurse) was going to take over. So Jody’s introduction to me was while I was dripping wet, completely naked, with Aaron wiping me down with towels while I was practically doubled over with contractions. Not a pretty sight. I’m sure she’s seen it all, but I remember thinking I’m going to be embarrassed about this later. It must have taken 20 minutes or more for me to get back into the monitoring belt, back into the johnny and make the walk to the birthing bed. Up until this point, I had managed to just breath steadily during contractions and not really make much noise. Now, however, my animal nature was starting to help me to cope and I was starting to make what can only be described as sort of low mooing noises. Kind of like extended, gutteral "Ow" noises.

Back on the bed, without the help of the jacuzzi

jets or the hot water, the contractions suddenly became urgent. They called in Dr. Hicks who entered the room as I was mooing and really, really holding onto the handles of the bed. She checked me and said – "Um, you’re at 9.5 – 10 right now". Aaron got all excited and I was concentrating too much on getting through the now every minute huge contractions. Since my water had not yet broken, Dr. Hicks broke the water and luckily it was very clear (meaning no meconium). Dr. Hicks said there was still a couple of hours to go (I remember feeling really disheartened about this) so she’d be back soon. And to let everyone know if I felt like I had to poop. No sooner than she left than the contractions started to feel like I was going to shit all over the table. I told Jody who called Dr. Hicks back in again. They set up the table and started to put on their scrubs outfits and Jody started to get the baby table ready. I remember Aaron being very excited about the baby table (‘Do you know what they are doing now? They are getting the baby table ready!’). I was squeezing his hand with every contraction and really just trying to get through them.

Sophie was apparently part-way turned around so they let me try pushing for a bit before Dr. Hicks decided that I was going to exhaust myself. She left briefly again and said she wanted to let my body do some of the work for me. I rolled back over on my left side and ‘waited’. And, this still surprises me, my body started to push on its own. The contractions started coming in waves, one on top of another and my body would contort on its own at the end of each wave. Lots of "owwwing" and contorting and all of a sudden, Dr. Hicks was back. Now she put on more surgical scrubs and a face shield – all of which Aaron told me with excitement. They made the transformer table into a push/squat bar thing contraption with the foot of the bed lowered. She wanted me to drape myself over the bar when the contractions started. This pulled me up into a squatting position and as I pushed, she was able to turn Sophie into a better position. I remember thinking that there was no possible way I could get myself into a squatting position. But there was lots of help from Aaron and

Jody and I managed to do it every time. And each time, after the contraction, they would have me ‘sit’ back down again which increasingly felt like I was sitting on Sophie’s head. Quite a bit of pushing in this position with Dr. Hicks trying to turn Sophie’s head into a better position. The contractions were about 1 minute apart so as soon as I’d ‘sit’ down after pushing, I’d have to haul myself back up on the bar again.

Finally, Sophie was turned and they had me lay back (with my shoulders pretty high up) again and try to push the more traditional way. Dr. Hicks kept telling me to hold my knees up when I pushed but there was no way in hell I was going to let go of the side handle. So they added some handles a bit farther down the bed – about where they’d be on a rowing machine. I grabbed onto those and then Aaron and Jody held my knees with each contraction. Big pushes and Aaron excitedly told me her head was out! Lots of dark hair! Dr. Hicks told me to stop pushing so that she could turn Sophie again to get her shoulders out. But Sophie was having none of it and one by one her hands started to poke out of the birth canal. So Dr. Hicks told me to push again. It took two more big pushes and then relief! I could feel her slide out of me and Aaron was beside himself with excitement. Dr. Hicks prepared her umbilical cord and Aaron cut it. Amazingly, what Dr. Hicks predicted would take a couple of hours actually took about a half hour.

And then all of a sudden, there is my daughter lying on my chest. All covered in goo but fully lucid and starting to cry a bit. So I said – "Hello Sophia" and she stopped crying and just looked at me with amazement. And then Aaron said "Hello baby girl" and she looked toward his voice. And in that moment, all the pain and hurting was worth it. I have never seen anything so amazing as my husband’s face looking at his new daughter.

There was more weighing, measuring, breastfeeding for the first time, stamping her feets with ink for eternity, etc. But what will always stick with me is how incredibly supportive Aaron was. He never left my side and was more encouraging and enthusiastic and helpful than I could ever have

imagined. I can’t even fathom going through something like this with anyone else.

Erika is a 34 year old marketing manager in Western Massachusetts. She blogs about daily life, politics, longing for lovely goodies and the craziness of people at mmmm, brains. She is married to a former Navy submariner who is diligently working on his PhD in mathematics. Sophia is their first child. They are completely in awe of her.

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