January 11, 2010

Why I Hate Exercise Videos

Yesterday, Mr. BBM convinced me to do P90X with him. If you don't know what I'm talking about, spend five minutes watching infomercial TV. He's that annoyingly ripped guy who doesn't shut up who looks like he's working out in a dungeon. Yep, that's him.

I know several people who have done it and like it. I'm just not an exercise video type of girl. In fact, that's putting it mildly. I despise exercise videos. The people are always too perfect looking and totally annoying. Plus, they smile a lot when they work out. Who does that? I mean seriously. It's just not realistic. And would it kill them to put a girl in the video who actually looks like she needs to work something off? How about someone who doesn't look carved out of marble? That would be a nice touch.

So, yesterday we got the kids occupied upstairs and moved the coffee table. I told Mr. BBM I could not possibly listen to that main guy talk the whole time so he just put the cues on for when you were supposed to switch exercises. I was still annoyed and I'm fairly certain Mr. BBM could feel my skeptical glares from across the room.

Then, I realized there was someone even more annoying than the main guy. . . the blonde girl. First of all, I should use the word "girl" lightly. She did more pull-ups in that video than I've ever seen a guy do in a single setting. She's practically a man, or actually, more like a robot. She started off in a sweatshirt and quickly unzipped and took it off to reveal a sports bra with a flag on it. Her shorts were too short. Her abs were too tight and frankly, she just made me want to barf. I mean, I guess that's one way to go about weight loss, but it's not exactly a good way.

What it boils down to is this: I don't like videos. The people are too perfect; the bodies too unattainable to make you feel like even trying, and they are all so annoying. Once I saw that woman do pull-ups I felt more like eating a tube of ring bologna than working out. And working out with Mr. BBM is not my favorite thing to do either. When my thighs start to burn after 1000 squats, I feel like screaming at him that his form is all wrong. When he starts sweating, I start yelling at him to grab a towel so he doesn't drip on my floor.

I would never talk to a trainer like that, which is why I much prefer working out with a trainer over working out with my husband.

After we were done with the video, he told me he enjoyed working out with me. I told him I didn't like it one bit. It's like this. . . when I worked out with my trainer, he could scream at me and push me all he wanted. Sure I was telling him to "sixth letter of the alphabet" off in my head but I'd never say that out loud. I wouldn't want him to think I'm a jerk. Plus, when you're working out with someone you don't know as well, you tend to push yourself a little harder. You don't want him to think you're a wuss or something. However, with Mr. BBM, there's no such courtesy. If he tells me I'm doing something wrong, he better strap on his running shoes because I am coming after him.

With the exception of my trainer, I like to work out alone unless you consider the company in my headphones. And me and P90X? I just don't see us having a productive relationship. I don't find it exactly reconstructed ACL friendly. And as far as Mr. BBM and I working out together goes? Well, unless I put my headphones on so I can block out everyone else, I don't know that it's going to work.

T.I. tells me I can have "whatever I like," and I'm not liking.