January 17, 2008
So NOT Cool
This is "light mix turning into rain by rush hour":
The roads are covered with snow. Roads are closed due to accidents. It will probably take Mr. BBM three hours to get home. I almost fell on my butt when I had to retrieve Big I from school because I can’t fit boots over my stupid immobilizing brace and it was slippery out there. It’s rush hour and the snow is coming down like crazy. So not COOL!
Oh, almost forgot to mention that when I got in the car to go get Big I, I attempted to clear off the windows without having to walk around with the scraper. I lowered the windows, but the stupid automatic thing on my driver side window brought the window the entire way down which brought a big old pile of snow right into my lap. Also NOT cool. Actually quite cool as my heated seat quickly melted the snow onto my pants. GRR.
Here’s another thing that’s not cool. This is my leg:
I stood in front of the mirror the other day in my underwear and could not believe the difference in my legs. The difference is just ridiculous. It’s not at all unlike that chicken leg. I think it’s a cruel joke for women who have ACL surgery. As women, we always carry more weight on the upper thigh/butt area. If ACL surgery is going to take away my muscle, at the VERY LEAST, it could also take away some of the upper thigh/butt area. Just call me KFC BBM because that’s what I look like. It is so not fair, and SO NOT COOL!
Here’s yet one more thing that’s not cool. Mr. BBM and I bought our new exercise bike primarily for me and my rehabilitation. On the first night we had it, I was already hurting from PT so I didn’t take a turn on the bike. Mr. BBM spent the whole evening on the thing.
The next day, I went to ride the bike before my shower. The seat was so insanely high that I could barely get on the thing. Once I did, it only took a second to realize I was NEVER going to be able to make this work. I jumped off the bike onto my good leg and tried to adjust the seat.
SWEAT.
FRUSTRATION.
SCREAMING.
SWEARING.
And a phone call. . . Mr. BBM answers his work phone.
"What the hell are you trying to prove? (Mr. BBM tries to inquire why I’m so upset but I continue. . .) No seriously, what are you trying to prove? I just spent the past 10 minutes trying to adjust the seat that SOMEONE screwed on so ridiculously tight that I will NEVER be able to move it. I can’t ride the bike, and who did we buy this bike for? Me, right? ME! It’s just like when you screw the cap on the bottle of soda too tight that I can’t open it. Are you trying to prevent me from drinking soda? Are you trying to prevent me from riding the bike? Just as you show common courtesty in lowering the toilet seat, do a girl a favor and lower the bike seat when you’re done, especially if you are going to be intent on proving you are Hercules."
So
NOT
COOL!
Oh you poor dear, you sound so stressed out, it reminds of of the feeling like the world is closing in around you, and nothing is there to hold it off. I wish that there was a miracle pill to make all of these problems disappear.
Deep breaths. Just like in karate, go back to the basics, and see what it is that you can do to make your day seem brighter. Try to focus on what you do have, and improve it.
Yes, your leg looks pretty bad to an average eye after that surgery, but according to what you’ve been writing on this blog, your healing has been progressing nicely.
Yes, your daughter ( like anyone’s child that I know) has been giving you “moments” that would make any sane person want to scream, and claw at the ceiling. Maybe this is her way of coping with the stress that has hit the family these past months?? I’m just guessing here.
BBM, since you are the wonderful kind of Mom that I think you are, you have been central to the smooth spinning motion of your family day, to have you injured, and suffering from stress must have put a couple of bumps into their lives… and into yours.
Have hope.. All things will return to balance with time, and healing.
that’s a lot that’s dumped on you, just like the snow. holy cow! i hope venting helped? eek.
Your snow is so beautiful! I totally understand that it’s treacherous, even more so because of your injury! Did everyone make it home safely?
I hope that Mr. BBM got the bicycle seat adjusted and that you’ve been able to use it now?
(((HUGS)))
Supergroup: I am stressed out. I’m having a real problem finding time to do all this PT I’m supposed to be doing at home. So many things are getting in the way.
Sizzle: It did help.
Marguerite: He did get it adjusted. Now I don’t have to teeter as if on the Empire State Building. Everyone made it home just fine, thankfully.
Wow, naughty boy he was this Mr. BBM!
Our bike is fortunately a recumbent, and seat adjustment is like a car – an easily set lever underneath.
Glad to hear you’re on a bike now, that’s huge!
BBM – has your other leg at least found muscle-tone like never before? I found that, like your brochitis tummy-toning, being in a knee-brace was a workout like no other for the unafflicted leg.
Hang in there. You really are doing well, it just doesn’t feel like it some days.
How frustrating, on top of your other frustrations. I have to grunt like a pig just to turn the cold water on in the laundry tub because my husband must turn the life out of that knob. The picture is beautiful but I DREAD driving and walking on snow/ice when I have two good legs. Hang in there. We in internet land are with you.
I’m sorry you are experiencing muscle atrophy. I know how you feel and it’s scary to see your limbs after something like that. When I got my arm out of it’s cast it looked like it was the arm of a concentration camp victim. I thought it would never look normal again but it did in a few months. Here’s to your quick healing!