Filed under: Mental Strain for Mama, Rockstar, Uncategorized
When Mr. BBM suggested we go to the JT concert for our anniversary, I was kind of surprised. I had imagined a weekend away, somewhere quiet, where we could catch up on sleep. Exciting, I know. But with a 12, 8 and 2-year old in the house, quiet and sleep are two things that are in short supply.
I spent weeks planning my outfit for the occasion. I haven’t had a night out in a big city in a long time. Clearly all the other chicks there thought high black boots were the way to go too. At least I knew I was still somewhat “with it.”
So we went to the concert and had an amazing time. There’s something about being a woman and knowing you’re breathing the same air as JT. It is instantly exhilarating. I couldn’t help thinking as I screamed, “Oh My GOD, he’s coming right here!” that perhaps this is not what Mr. BBM had in mind for our anniversary. Me, him and JT. . . and me screaming with utter joy when the stage began to move and he got closer to us by the minute. I left that concert completely “love-stoned.” No joke. Minus the beer-soaked jacket thanks to some klutzy girl sitting behind me, it was a night I won’t soon forget.
But instead of just enjoying the concert, there was this nagging feeling deep inside. I should have pursued a career in the music industry. I should have been a performer’s manager. I should have been a back-up dancer. Heck, I’ll be the girl that stands on the side of the stage and hands the man water when he needs it.
We spent the night in Philly and came home to our three awesome kids. Little Man followed me around 24/7 and kept hugging me and kissing me. Parting so I could go to the bathroom was almost too much for him. The girls picked up right where they left off with the sibling rivalry and non-stop arguments. Mr. BBM and I couldn’t help but look at each other occasionally and mouth, “let’s go back.” We rarely get a minute, let alone a night, to ourselves. It truly was amazing.
Days later though, as I drop off the dry-cleaning and pick up ingredients needed for dinner, organize Little Man’s toys and go about the business of laundry, the feeling lingers. It’s clearly a JT hangover. The concert was incredible and I can only imagine how cool it would be to be a part of it, day after day, night after night. Can you imagine what it would feel like to be a part of putting on that production? To be a dancer within feet of such an incredible celebrity? To be one of the behind the scenes people who makes it all happen?
Swim Girl and I were having a conversation in the car the other night about it. “Do you wish you were doing something different?” she asked me. It’s a tough question to answer. I think every stay-at-home mom who made the choice to put career aside for her kids would jump at the opportunity to do something extravagant, to go on a worldwide tour. I’ve been thinking about my choice a lot lately. There are things we’d like to do with our house, places we’d like to travel, but we can’t right now. I would never want anyone else raising my kids. We’ve certainly made the sacrifices so that I can be home when they get home from school, so that none of them ever had to go to a daycare setting. But it also meant putting aside the dream of being a big-time magazine editor or writer, navigating the streets of NYC with ease. Also, that whole dream of being the next Madonna, but better and without the gladiator boob contraptions.
So I have it all figured out. JT needs to hire and train me as a back-up dancer (social media genius or even as security!). I’ll need a bus all my own, equipped with enough beds for my family, and internet access so Mr. BBM can work from the road. I also need a nanny. I’ll home school the kids during the day; we’ll travel the world and consider that a year-long field trip. At night, I’ll pop my strawberry bubblegum on stage while my kids chill in the trailer watching Disney movies or finish up their homework. Yep, I’ll be “That Girl,” the one who has it all. Who says I can’t?
I can’t even begin to get my head around tonight’s finale. I predicted it last night, but I was so hoping I would be wrong.
The show started off with Brooke announcing the bottom two: Magni and Toby. I was hoping they’d be the top two so I was a little disappointed. You didn’t have to be a rocket scientist to know that Magni was going to be the first to go. You didn’t need them Magni. You’re too good for them.
Toby knew his time was limited and after the three remaining contestants performed, it was pretty clear that Toby’s time was coming to a close. Watching the faces of Supernova made it obvious. When Lukas performed they were all like "yeah, crush it" and when Dilana and Toby performed they were just like (to steal a word from Toby) EVS or whatevah.
Just like my worst nightmare, they sent Toby packing after they pretty much told him he was the best person. Yeah, that made a whole lot of sense.
With the two goth fairies left, it was obvious they were going to choose Lukas. Although I was silently pulling for Dilana, I knew it wasn’t meant to be. Lukas was chosen as the one. And without further delay, and because it’s been a letter writing kind of week, I give you my letter to Supernova.
Dear Gilby, Jason, and Tommy (aka Supernova or soon to be "Superfailure"):
What were you thinking? Apparently, your years of rocking hard and boozing it along the way have damaged your brain cells, particularly the ones related to auditory issues. Do you not see the way Lukas seizes across the stage? Are you not aware of the growling that is emitted from his mouth? Do you not know that Toby sang that Supernova song 100 times better than Lukas will ever sing that song? Are you not aware that sparkly blue eye shadow died along with Madonna’s lacy hair bows?
Do you honestly believe that Lukas is best for your band? A large majority of rocker fans are female. FEMALE, as in WOMEN, you know the opposite sex that you like hanging around. The majority of girl rock fans like guys like Toby: built, hot, sexy. Girls do not tend to go for guys like Lukas: troubled, traumatized, wears more make-up than the average drag queen, short on stature and on talent.
Do you not see the GLARING difference between the two? Can you not hear it? Are your ears that damaged from all the hard rock? Are you having some vision issues, because I mean, come ON! But then again, maybe you guys aren’t into girls anymore? Not that there’s anything wrong with that. . .
But may I be the first to say, "Ewww," because I can not think of a grosser couple than that. Except maybe Britney and Kevin.
Appearance and sexual orientation aside, did you not read the lyrics of the songs they wrote? You see Storm’s lyrics, they rocked. Toby’s lyrics made sense and had a catchiness about it. Lukas’ lyrics? There’s a difference between being "catchy" and being ridiculously repetitive. Lukas is the latter, just in case you weren’t sure.
The only thing I’m happy about is that now Toby is free to go make his own music without you guys and your bouffant hairdo’s (Gilby) and your tattoo on the neck that looks like a hickey (Tommy) and your happy little catch phrase "Crush It" (Jason). And in case you’re wondering. . .
YES, I’m just a TAD BIT BITTER about the whole thing, and the fact that I wasted a summer watching this show for such a disappointing and predictable outcome. And just in case you weren’t sure, I will NOT be attending any of your shows or buying any of your music. I guarantee you that the House Band that’s opening for you will be a bigger draw. This is one show that’s going to make people think, "Huh, if I leave now I can still catch Letterman."
One seriously annoyed and confused BLACK BELT MAMA
P.S. EVS (and in case you forget what that means. . . WHATEVAH and please do picture that being said to you with the attitude of a jaded teenager.)
Thankfully my parents are on the opposite side of town tonight and are not privy to my Tivo remote. I’ve been able to kick back (as much as a mama of a toddler who’s still awake can) and enjoy the finale week of Rockstar.
Ryan came back for an encore of his back seat song. He seems less (to steal a word from Lydia) "angsty" now. He said he’s recording and releasing his song and he seems like a happier person to be out on his own. I think that was the goal of a lot of these contestants, so that they can follow in Marty Casey’s footsteps. He and The Lovehammers have played numerous venues and have grown exponentially in popularity. Your own band and a big increase in popularity sounds like a dream come true for these contestants and I think that’s why a lot of them were there in the first place, Storm Large for one.
Back to the show. . .Toby performed first and sang the hell out of "Karma Police" by Radio Head. There’s really nothing to say about it other than that it was very good. He then had Magni come out and play guitar for him for his original tune "Throwing it Away." It’s a very catchy song and it felt like he should just have his own concert right now. I wanted to hear what the guys had to say about him, but I got a little distracted by Gilby Clark’s bouffant hair do. Is he playing a role in the upcoming "Dreamgirls" movie by chance? Or is there a Rockstar Supreme’s show coming up that he’s planning on auditioning for just in case Supernova becomes a Super flop?
Speaking of flops, Lukas performed Cold Play’s "Fix you". He was wearing enough sparkly blue eye shadow to supply all the teenagers of the 80’s and then some. I truly believe he was trying to be the punk Mick Jagger with that performance. When he performed a stripped down version of "Headspin" I changed my opinion from last week. It shouldn’t necessarily be called "Mumbling in a Microphone". Perhaps the stripped down version should be called "Growling in a Microphone" because that is exactly what he did with this version. I’ve got some new lyrics for him though. How about this: "You make my ears ache. Your eyelids are caked. Why? Why? (growl). The ending of his set was completely anti-climactic which means he is so going to win.
Dilana. . . What the heck was that tonight? She performed "Roxanne" and actually sang it and her voice was good. She apparently laid off the Lukas lessons because the Marlboro Man was at home tonight (until the original song). Her performance of "Roxanne" was nothing short of amazing, but she wrapped her set up with "Super Soul" and I was super bored. As Gilby says, her lyrics are too literal and the song is just dull. Although "Roxanne" blew me away, she won’t win. Remember Gilby Clark’s comment about her song writing skills from a few weeks ago. It shows in her original and they will pass.
Magni wrapped up the night with Deep Purple’s "Hush." It was exciting! His confidence has only grown over the past few weeks and he made himself a serious contender. His original "When the Time Comes" is good, but as Supernova said, it’s not exactly memorable. What was memorable was Magni’s guitar performance in Toby’s original song. If Supernova goes with one of the crazies, Toby and Magni should start a band together. That would truly rock.
I’m sticking with my guns and I’m going to say Toby wins as I did back at the start (Check the archives if you don’t believe me. I’m too tired to link to it.) Keep in mind however, that my fantasy football team lost this week when Larry Johnson of all people choked. . . so it’s been a bad week. I’m prepared for it to get worse. Lukas would seal the deal.
People, you gotta help me out! OH MY GOD! We had "Meet the Teacher" night at Big I’s school. My parents were watching Lil C and instead of letting the nice Tivo do what it’s supposed to do. . . they CHANGED THE CHANNEL TO TENNIS which means they had to say "yes" to that little prompt about changing the channel and canceling the recording. Of all the rotten things you can do to a person. . .
My husband is frantically searching the net to find out the results for me because he realizes that I’m a woman on the EDGE. I can NOT believe I won’t see this episode.
And NOW, he’s telling me that Toby got the encore; that the bottom three were Dilana, Lukas and Storm. . . and STORM WENT HOME, even when Lukas re-performed his song from last night???? I think the full moon is influencing the world tonight; and I am NOT a happy camper.
Please, for the love of God, someone, burn it onto a DVD and mail it to me. I beg you!
Tonight, the rockers each performed two songs including one original tune. It was certainly an interesting night. The originals really divided up the contestants into two distinct groups.
Dilana kicked the night off with a classic song by The Who, "Behind Blue Eyes" and then an original called "Super Soul". Every song choice seems to be stemming from her "troubled" times and it’s getting a little old. If she wants everyone to forget about it and get over it, then why does she keep bringing it up? I thought her performance was more like an evening with Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde. Her soft side was revealed again in the first song, but it seemed fake. Her original lacked all creativity, and from the brief vignettes that the show revealed, Gilby Clark is less than impressed with her creativity as well. The house band was also less than thrilled with her complete lack of knowledge of "Behind Blue Eyes." I’m so over her and I think Supernova is too.
Magni was up next and offered a stark contrast to Dilana’s performance. He belted U.S.S.R. and followed up with an original that showed a new side of him completely. He offered an intense performance that was stellar in contrast to Dilana’s. What I also like about Magni is that he doesn’t kiss butt. When Tommy Lee told him his performances sounded "the same," Magni offered a sarcastic, "Well, both of those songs were performed by me" and left Tommy Lee without a comeback. If chosen, he would definitely be a leader, and wouldn’t feel as if he owed the band anything. That would be refreshing.
Storm came out and got a little surprise. Dave Navarro jumped on stage to perform "Suffragette City" with her and she proved that she can perform with the best. Navarro offered her an incredible compliment, by telling her afterward that performing with her was like performing with the other stars he’s performed alongside. She rocked a classic, and followed it with an original "What the What is Ladylike" that is still in my head. It was one of the top two originals of the night. She managed to entertain throughout the entire performance without making the "something smells bad" face. That alone is worthy of praise.
Lukas performed a stripped down version of Bon Jovi’s "Living on a Prayer", but to me it sounded more like "Mumbling in a Microphone". He seems to be moving away from the Robert Smith lookalike thing and more towards going for resembling a tarantula or something equally leggy and hideous. His hair style tonight was practically giving me an anxiety attack. I was afraid he was going to poke his own eye out or something worse. I despised his original. I just can’t take the screeching and odd facial expressions anymore. Why do people like him? I don’t get it. He was the only one of the five whose lyrics I could not understand at all.
Toby brought down the house with his original that offered a memorable sing-a-long lyric that the crowd grabbed onto immediately. He worked the room and jumped from stage to stage, even getting goosed by Tommy Lee at one point. His song was right up Supernova’s alley and it was one of the better ones tonight. It’s a good thing too. I love The Killer’s song "Mr. Brightside", but I can’t help but think that although Toby did a good job with it, Marty Casey of last year, did it better.
At the end of the show, early voting revealed that the rockers were lining up like this:
- Lukas (Why? Why? Why?)
Encore will definitely go to either Toby or Storm (I simply can’t choose just one.)
Bottom three will be: Dilana, Magni, and Lukas (PLEASE let Lukas be in the bottom three!)
I’m going to go out on a limb here and predict that Dilana goes home. If Ryan can go home, anyone is game.
What do you think???