July 12, 2007
Sorry I said “Sorry”
There’s a new rule at the dojo during my one instructor’s classes, and I’m not liking it one bit. The rule is this: If I say the word "sorry" I have to drop and do five push-ups. Five. Big deal, right? Well, with my genetic programming, I ended up doing at least 25 push-ups tonight.
I screw up and my instructor catches me. I say "sorry." Five push-ups. I hit him harder than I should. I say "sorry." Five push-ups. For me, saying "sorry" is as automatic as brushing my teeth in the morning or saying "thank you" when someone holds the door open for me. It’s going to be a hard habit to break.
My instructor says the "sorry" has to go before black belt testing. He also says I need to stop making faces when I screw up and sound effects to accompany those screw-ups. I swear it’s harder than working on kata and bunkai; and unfortunately he is exactly right about each of these little BBMisms. I’m afraid that this is what I’m going to look like by the time black belt testing rolls around if I don’t stop saying "sorry."
I was thinking tonight, that maybe I should just try to program myself to say something else. He said the word "sorry" is push-up inducing. He said nothing about the following phrases or words, "I apologize" or "my deepest apologies" or "regrettable" or "remorseful" or "repentant" or "penitent."
So the next time I screw up, if I feel a "sorry" coming on I’ll just say "regrettable" and see what happens. Of course, something tells me that the push-up tally will only increase if I try that. Then again, I’ve been meaning to work on my upper body strength so I’m going to just roll with it. . . right up until I wake up tomorrow, sore as hell, cursing myself for being so damn apologetic.
In other news, I found this interesting website where you can plug in your site and it gives you a rating, like a movie rating. Mine is as follows:
Want to know what that rating is based on? I kid you not. I get this rating because of the presence of the word "pooped." No wonder Karl is rated NC-17.
In the interest of starting off on the right non-apologizing foot, you won’t see me apologizing for my use of the word "pooped" or my PG rating.
Sorry if that offends you.
(Sigh)
I have a long way to go. . .
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Hahaha. The hitting I don’t mind, just the apology.
We’re gonna turn those sorries into kiai’s yet, don’t you worry.
And for the record, anything like “deepest regrets for striking you thusly” will count for 10 pushups because it also wasted much more time than sorry would have.
LOL. I was afraid you were going to say that.
Hahaha. I am the Aikido version of the BBM. Too funny. I just hope my sensei doesn’t hear about this 5-push-up-rule thingy. I say sorry a lot, but the thing that he really dislikes is when I shake my head no when I am frustrated or think I can’t do something right. By now, it is totally unconscious, I don’t even realize I’m doing it until he tells me to STOP SHAKING (YOUR) HEAD!!!!!
BBM,
I don’t think you’d look like that freak if you did 1,000 pushups everyday! You’d end up hypertrophying the tar out of your pecs (thus giving your karate punches a lot of bite), but in no way would you end up with “her” arms and delts that are almost as big as mine. A million sorry penalties wouldn’t do what that lady’s syringe full of anabolic steroids, 3 hours in the gym, and insane diet eventually produced–a (wo)man that no guy would want to date. I just don’t get why some women chose to do that to themselves! But some of the fitness women I see in my Flex magazines are still cute and feminine.
I think lots of sparring might help you to stop saying sorry. The more you smack someone around and are smacked around–sometimes with good control, other times a little too hard–the more you will get used to it and feel less need to apologize.
What’s so bad about apologizing after hitting your partner too hard? Your training partner is not your enemy, after all.
P.S. I would date her–maybe. 😉
I have a hard time with that too. I’m getting better but I still can’t help saying “sorry”. its a bit absurd, being in a contact sport and apologizing for making contact….hmmmm how do you say sorry in Japanese?
@frotoe – Gomennasai. But I believe it’s a casual thing so it shouldn’t be used to superiors. (It’s been a while since I’ve taken Japanese so I may be off here).
@Chris – If you dated that girl, certain aspects of your relationship might prove…”regrettable”. (#);)
Oh man, I would be doing push-ups too. That is such an automatic word with me as well.
At least he isn’t making you do pull-ups…those are wicked.
Well, it looks like I’m rated PG today.
As for saying sorry, that’s something we’re working on with my son, too. He says sorry as a reflex, and the way I was raised, this is actually disrespectful. If you say “sorry” reflexively, it’s meaningless conciliation… more of an excuse. My son says “sorry” about 30 times a day, and our suggestion to him is that perhaps he should try to stop doing the things for which he’s constantly apologizing. 🙂
He’s getting better, but doesn’t understand that substituting “my bad” isn’t an acceptable alternative! 🙂
Oh, and I’m the king of sound effects. I also tend to talk while sparring… sort of a running commentary, usually more PG-13.
Wow. I’m actually rated “G”. I can’t figure that one out.
Karen, Jody, and frotoe: Glad to hear I’m not the only one with this female flaw. And on the pull-ups, oh man, you’re not kidding. They are impossible for one with spaghetti arms like mine.
Scott: I say “sorry” more when I spar than any other time. I think that if we spar anytime soon, I’ll spend almost the entire time on the floor doing push-ups!
Chris: My perception of “hitting too hard” and my instructor’s is obviously a lot different. As for the second comment, I have no clue what to say. . . 😉 I’ll just ditto what da mack daddy said.
DMD: Sweet! You studied Japanese???
Steve: “My bad”. . . now there’s an option.
Miss C: I can’t figure out how “pooped” can get you a PG either.
Mine is PG because I said “hurt” once. *snickers*
Are you allowed to smile wickedly after you hit somebody? And how do you hit someone harder than you should – this sounds like a good thing to me!
Don’t worry, you’ll never end up looking like that muscle chick no matter how many pushups you’ll do. (Do you think your blog would be more popular with an “R” rating? What would it take to get one of those? Just wondering.)
I ended up with a PG-13 for having used the word “sex” (referring to gender) four times. That thing is sensitive.
Fortunately for me, my reflexive “sorry” got beaten out of me in my first dojo. Damned if I was going to say “sorry” for knocking the guy who cracked my cheekbone on his ass. These days I still get cracks from sensei about my dainty ways, but no excess apologies, and no pushups – at least thus far.
Aithyne: “Hurt”? That is funny!
John: I don’t see why not. I’m sort of good at wicked looks. 😉 And the R rating? Possibly. Then again I get a ton of searches for “black mama sex” already so I don’t see how I can get more R rated than that!
PB: Cracked your cheekbone!?! No wonder you weren’t apologetic! That would certainly knock the sorry’s out.
My blog got NC-17. Why? I used the words “hurt”, “pain”, “punch”, and “ass”. No actual swear words and I’m NC-17???? Man, I need to start swearing to earn that rating, dammit.
I remember when we used to do 30 pushups and crunches at the beginning of every class. That was useful, but I think this serves a more direct purpose because it correlates sorry to 5 pushups. 5 of course being a pretty easy number to knock out; It’s not the strain, just the connection that will help eliminate those sorries.
Of course you also have to be careful when trying something like this. BBM is going for black belt and is a very positive student, willing to work with me because she knows it’ll help. I would never try this with a student I haven’t gotten to know.
I was very happy to see the blog posters understood it right away and knew what we were up to, and there weren’t any grumpy reactions – we aren’t doing cobra kai, 20 pushups on your knuckles. hahaha.
My teacher told me that one of the students (now a 4th dan) at her dojo used to say “sorry” so much that they started charging her a quarter or a dollar or something every time she said it. She still says it, but I guess nowhere near as often as she used to. Usually when I say it, people say “no, no, don’t be sorry, it’s good!” because I used to be a lot more timid. 🙂
I do it all the time! My instructor just kicks me a lot.
🙂
I hope she doesn’t implement the push-up rule, however.
~BCP
We are raised to act politely and most of us are also raised not to hit people! I imagine dissuading you from saying sorry is about self control and discipline. They’re going to break you of things that are difficult.
Next time you nail of your instructors in the pills with a snap kick I expect you to look him in the eye and say, “I’m not sorry” bwhahahaaaaaa.
We are raised to act politely and most of us are also raised not to hit people! I imagine dissuading you from saying sorry is about self control and discipline. They’re going to break you of things that are difficult.
Next time you nail of your instructors in the pills with a snap kick I expect you to look him in the eye and say, “I’m not sorry” bwhahahaaaaaa.
I’ve heard that saying ‘I’m sorry’ is a female trait. Maybe just say, “Darn!’ instead. Best of luck!
Karen: I agree! Get to work! And as to your second comment, I’d be broke! Completely.
Mr. M: Cobra Kai???? Please, no! Then again, those sleeveless gi’s would be really nice this time of year.
BCP: So you prefer kicks to push-ups. . . I’d have to agree with you there.
Chris: I imagine you are right. The snap kick response though? I wonder if “not sorry” counts since I’d be using that word anyway. I’ll have to ask for the specifics. 😉
Combat Gal: Yes, I think you’re right. That along with being unable to say no to home parties. Definitely female flaws.
I do that too. It drives one of my friends crazy. She tells me it’s not sincere but it really is, every time!
Hey, at least your body builder physique still has a nice rack. Did I just bump your rating up to a PG-13? Haha.
How about just saying “cwakers” whenever you make a mistake. At least it’s good for the giggle…and maybe give you a break from endless push-ups.
August: Quite possibly, you did. 😉
Somaserious: I might just have to try that one! It’s worth at least a laugh right?
Yep, cracked my cheekbone. A big black belt dude got me in the face with a knee when I was still a white belt (about six weeks after my first class actually). It took me six months of hard work to get to the day when I buried a step-behind side-kick in his middle and knocked him on his butt. It felt soooo good, and my sensei just stood there grinning like a fool. I think he remembered the knee nearly as well as I did.